Stupid and Cruel

Writers: Devin, Bree
Date Posted: 23rd February 2006

Characters: Kenza, N'vanik
Description: Kenza has a talk with N'vanik about his fight with U'kaiah.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 10, day 12 of Turn 3
Notes: Follows "The Better Man?"

N'vanik

Kenza stood outside N'vanik's door and gave it few fierce pounds that could probably be heard one level down. "I know you're in there N'vanik, so you answer or I'm coming in without an invitation and heedless of your state of dress or undress!" The door was yanked open. "You gonna yell at me too? Fine, let's get it over with!" N'vanik glared at the Wingthird.

"I was only planning on yelling at you if you made me do it from the hallway," Kenza replied evenly, quirking an eyebrow at N'vanik. "So can I come inside and talk to you at a reasonable volume?"

"Whatever," N'vanik said as he turned back into his weyr, leaving the door open. If it had been someone else, he would have told them to leave, but he knew Kenza really _would_ yell at him from the hallway, and then he would have no peace.

Kenza closed the door quietly behind her and followed him deeper into the weyr. "I just want to know why you like torturing U'kaiah so much, N'vanik.
That man was in pain."

N'vanik faced her. "He attacked _me_."

"You had sex on his desk," Kenza replied mildly. "What posessed you to do something like that _now_ of all times?"

"Now, next sevenday, what's the difference?" he asked.

"The difference is that he just lost a friend." Kenza shook her head. "Not that I'm saying I think it was a smart idea to break into his office to have sex in any case. There have got to be better things to do with your time--or at least better places to do them."

Lost a friend. **Jaela.** U'kaiah was still mourning her. There was a twinge of guilt, but he pushed it back. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. We were just having fun."

"Well it wasn't a good idea," Kenza replied tiredly. "It was stupid and it was cruel, and even if Sarian doesn't have the wit to put her clothing back on without help, I expected a little more from you."

"Maybe you should lower your expectations," N'vanik said.

Kenza snorted. "I would if I really thought you were an idiot. Unfortunatly for you, I am under no such delusion."

"Yeah well, smart or not, it wasn't worth _attacking_ me over."

"I doubt anyone thinks it was, even U'kaiah himself." If Kenza knew U'kaiah--and she _knew_ she did--he'd be drowning himself in the guilt within a sevenday. "But the fact remains that you started it by doing something that would provoke a man who _wasn't_ already in pain. And I want to know if I have to worry about you pulling another stupid stunt the minute my back is turned."

N'vanik's jaw tightened. "I've had enough to deal with today. I don't need a bossy greenrider scolding me like I'm her child!"

"Anything you've dealt with today is your own fault," Kenza replied calmly.
She wouldn't let N'vanik's attitude get to her... even if shaking a little sense into him was terribly tempting. "Actions have consequences, N'vanik...
and not just for you. Our wing is going to lose its Wingleader."

"Well, that's just too bad, isn't it!" he snapped. The anger was in control now, but he could feel guilt creeping up. "Yes, it is," she retorted, and her voice was losing its calm edge now.
"It's bad for all of us. And when your wingmates are in the infirmary with Threadscore while we try to pull this wing back together, I hope you'll reconsider where you conduct your trysts!" N'vanik turned away. "You guys will do fine," he said quietly.

Kenza closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. So much for keeping her temper. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. I'm just--" She sighed. "You're smart, N'vanik. I can see it. Why do you have to try so hard to make sure no one else can?"

He shrugged. "Just the way I am, I guess." If his wingmates did get injured, it would be at least in part because of him. The thought of that was more punishment than the grounding itself.

"It's the way you are now," she replied stepping around him so that she could see his face again. "You can't use it as an excuse forever."

"Maybe it's easier this way," he said. Kenza snorted. "There's no maybe about it. Of course it's easier that way. I spent a lot of time not bothering to use my brain, and you know what it got me?"

"Lots of men?" N'vanik said sarcastically.

"No, this." She pulled up her tunic high enough to reveal the mass of scars that covered her entire right side. The scars were poorly healed, clearly from one of the first Threadfalls when the Healers still struggled to save lives and had no time to be pretty about it. "It goes straight down to my knee, and you'd be amazed how few men find it attractive." N'vanik supressed a shiver. "I've seen worse." But not _much_ worse. At least, not on someone that had survived.

She dropped the tunic and looked up at him. "Our lives are already too dangerous. We all owe it to ourselves and everyone around us to use every bit of brains we have. And I don't want to see you learn it the way I had to."

"Don't worry about me. I can take care of myself," he said. **It's other people that I can't take care of. . .**

"As long as you're in my wing, worrying about you is my job," Kenza replied firmly. "You don't have to like it, and you don't have to change. All I expect you to do is listen."

"Yeah, well whether I listen or not, I won't be any good to you for a while,"
N'vanik said bitterly. Kenza shrugged. "Actions and consequences... that we can't do anything about. But if you feel the urge to get creative again, _please_ use _my_
office." Her face still looked serious, but her eyes were suspiciously mischevious. "It would hardly be the first time, after all." Reaching out, she squeezed his shoulder briefly. "Let me know if you need anything. You know where to find me."

"Yeah." N'vanik nodded. "And I'll remember to knock first."

Last updated on the February 23rd 2006

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Stupid and Cruel