Not Family, But Friends

Writers: Chelle, Leigh M-F.
Date Posted: 1st February 2016

Characters: R'gelen, A'kua
Description: A candid talk helps A'kua have a musical breakthrough. Hopefully R'gelen got something out of it too.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 4, day 13 of Turn 8
Notes: Mentioned: Nokala, Z'then, Elona, E'naer, Rhosyn, ONPC Eionen.

The chill was reaching to this point between the barracks and the outside, but A'kua didn't care. He wanted some quiet and a chance to try composing again while the evening free time lasted. The exercises Nokala had given him had helped some, but everything he wanted to express was just out of reach. The redheaded weyrling was hoping some time to himself would help. Zeiranth had wanted to come, but then he had gotten distracted talking to one of his brown clutchmates, so A'kua had slipped out undisturbed. Now he was sitting on a filched pillow, playing random notes and staring at the blank page of his composition book, waiting for inspiration.

A senior weyrling had been slipping through the barracks trying to turn in a record hide from a lesson he'd been assigned as extra reading. R'gelen knew that was really just their way of saying he would be there longer so they needed to find other things for him to do. Turning it in, he turned around and headed out but almost tripped over A'kua as he came down the other hallway. "Oh sorry…"

That was the second time something like this had happened. A'kua wondered if somehow he became invisible when he wasn't standing up. Well, at least R'gelen hadn't actually landed on him like Z'then had. "Don't worry about it," he said, shrugging. "Been a while, huh? What brings you by?"

"Oh well...had to turn in an assignment." R'gelen brushed himself off and leaned against the wall. "And how are you doing?" He was flying wherever he wanted now and it was great. He knew it was better not to rub those things in A'kua's face though. He had been there once, waiting on everything.

A'kua stared at the far wall, debating how much to explain. "Not well," he finally said. "I'm tryin' to compose somethin', and for once, I'm too angry to do it." He shrugged, trying to pretend it wasn't bothering him as much as it still was. "What about you? Those assignments keepin' you busy?"

"Ah well most days I just head off flying. But we're getting ready to learn all about the threadfall things since it's coming." He tried not to think about it. Didn't help to dwell on it anyway. Besides he was pretty sure he was one of the smallest weyrlings that would be going into Blooding this round. Maybe it would make him a smaller target although Iroth was a pretty big one and that troubled him to no end. "Why ya angry?"

The redhead hesitated. He had been willing to discuss the matter with Elona and E'naer, but he knew them. R'gelen was a relative unknown. He wasn't sure if he could trust the other bronze weyrling, so he tried to deflect him. "How've things been outside the flyin'?" he asked, as if he had been distracted and completely missed R'gelen's question.

"Umm since I can fly I can see some of my friends again. Haven't seen my parents since the Hatching though." He bit his lower lip and decided it might not be a secret in the Weyr too much longer anyhow and eventually people would know anyway if he was doing visiting things. "I also met my Aunt that I never met before. Didn't really go like I ever thought, and I still don't know what to think about it exactly."

His aunt? Wasn't that the dragonriding relative R'gelen had mentioned a while ago? The one he had thought had shamed the family somehow, and whom A'kua had automatically defended. The redhead looked up curiously. "What do you mean? She didn't mistreat you, did she?"

"No..it was just....I don't know. It was just a short meeting the one time. I get the idea though that maybe things were wrong. But then I don't understand. Why would my mother be so angry at her own sister to think those things?" He shook his hands, not really understanding it. His maturity level only went so far.

"Could be she's just too holdbred for her own good," A'kua said with a shrug. "Or maybe it's jealousy. What color does your aunt ride?"

R'gelen was quiet for a minute as he digested that. He didn't like thinking that his mother might be jealous. It was his mother, after all. She had raised him and had been kind to him so it was hard to consider her being unkind to anyone else, much less her own sister. "Umm..she's a goldrider at River Bluff."

A'kua choked on air and nearly died. R'gelen was related to a _weyrwoman_?! Bloody fardling shards! "Oh, aye, certainly jealousy, in that case," he managed to say through a surge of his own envy. Being related to a weyrwoman was so much better than being related to a careless harper.

"I don't know. Saibra said most families trip over themselves to have a girl Impress gold. But my family keeps it a big secret that we have one in the family and acts as if it's some bad thing. I mean okay she has a bad reputation I suppose...." He was still trying to figure it all out. "She didn't seem that way though. Then again, what do I know? I've just met her once."

"Sometimes once is all it takes to know if you want to find out more," A'kua said darkly.

"Ohhh hmm. So who stepped on your tail?" R'gelen watched him. It was easy to see the anger. He didn't know why he had it though.

The other weyrling's lip curled in disgust. "My stupid whorin' sire found me thanks to a girl I knew back at the hold. Said he was sorry. Fat lot of good that does eighteen Turns too late. I renounced him, told him he can die for all I care." He gave the gitar strings an angry strum, and was jolted at the deep note that sounded from them. He could use that somehow.

That R'gelen back. Definitely anger. "Oh umm...What was he sorry for?" He was almost afraid to ask but felt like it was the thing to do.

"Sleepin' with my ma and leavin' us to a miserable life." A'kua tried the gitar chord again, figuring out where his fingers had been and adjusting his hold on the pick he'd been forced to get. The oil he used on Zeiranth was stripping away his callouses and making strumming painful. "I don't want to believe he's sorry, or that he actually cares about me." He found the sound and repeated it a few times. It set a good beat. "At least with your aunt, you have a chance she actually wants a good relationship. Livin' in a Weyr can make people a lot more acceptin'."

"How come you don't want to believe he's sorry or cares about you?" It was the most natural question for him to ask. Of course it was probably bad of the man to just run off like that, but people made mistakes. After all, R'gelen was the first to admit he wasn't perfect. And if the man had come all the way to the Weyr to find A'kua, surely he did care. "If he didn't, why would he have come to find you?"

"Because-" The older weyrling broke off. He was going to sound like a hypocrite if he kept on. Besides, in all the time he had spoken, Eionen hadn't been lying. "Because I still hate him," A'kua admitted. "I keep thinkin' if he really cared, he wouldn't've been eighteen Turns too late and it wouldn't've taken guilt to get him out here. I really hope you can have a better relationship with your aunt." Perhaps her motives were purer somehow.

"Hmmm maybe. Could be after a long while you and your father could figure it out. I mean...my Da says we redheads burn like a slow fire but finally we burn ourselves out. I guess I'm hoping that with my Aunt and my Ma. Cause all this fighting and havin to tiptoe like...I mean my parents don't know I saw my Aunt. I think they might get upset at me for wanting to. And it's stupid. After all if they think she's a whore for sleeping with all these people...someday I'm going to have to. I mean, Iroth will be chasing. So what will they think about me?" He had just come to that conclusion and he was slightly horrified by it but he gulped back his realization.

A'kua found himself hoping that wouldn't happen to R'gelen. His family may have been holders, but if R'gelen was this scared, they must have treated him well somehow in the past. "Well, at least we riders have an excuse," he said roughly. "'The dragon decides, the rider complies.' It's for their sake, not ours. And if your family can't handle it, that's on them. The Weyr, your other family, can handle it. They'll support you. They'll take care of you."

"That's what Saibra said-I belonged to the Weyr now. I guess I do, in a way, but I didn't want that to mean I had to leave my family behind either." It didn't occur to him that he was a bronze weyrling saying the same things most green weyrlings usually said. "All I can do is see. For now, though, I think I'll just figure this thing out with my Aunt then tell my Ma. That is, if I keep seeing her."

A'kua swallowed hard. "R'gelen, promise me somethin'. Whatever happens -whether your family rejects you or accepts you, whatever your aunt wants-, don't let yourself turn out like me."

"Like you how?" he questioned quietly. Even though he was the senior weyrling, he was so much younger and still trying to figure so many things out. His short curls shook ever so slightly when he moved his head. He'd grown some since coming to the Weyr and weyrling training had filled him out but he was still a long way from becoming a man.

"Bitter. Angry. Hateful. It's too easy to be that way, and too hard to make yourself better once all that has hold of you," A'kua said with the voice of long experience.

"Hmm all you have to do is hold on hard to the things you love and don't think about those things. I don't have many friends here. So it's just me and Iroth, but that's okay. Now that I can fly, I go see Corofel and the others. That's also why I worry over my Ma. I love her a lot and I would hate to disappoint her." He looked down at his feet and shuffled some of the dirt with his boots.

If only it were so simple. **Your family better not destroy you. I'm tired of holders makin' things worse.** A'kua picked up his composition book and started scribbling, not really thinking about what he was doing. "You're a good kid. You'll make more friends," he said, knowing he needed to say something.

"Hope so. Maybe you could be one?" After all, they were both bronzeriders and would probably have to work together someday if everyone was to be believed. A'kua would join the wings long before R'gelen did. "Cause I have my own weyr now. I can have poker games and stuff."

A'kua's heart melted. He was right; R'gelen really was a good kid. "Don't think I wouldn't fleece you at those games," he said, half smiling, and then amended, "But I don't like fleecin' my friends, so you'd be safe."

"Well I better sleep or I'll end up falling off during drills tomorrow. Apparently my first threadfall is coming quicker than I thought." He shrugged and sighed. "I'll show you where my weyr is the next time I see you. Or I'll come get you. Or something."

The redhead half smiled. "You'll be fine, k- You'll be fine, R'gelen. Any time you're ready, have your dragon talk to Zeiranth. I'll be there."

Last updated on the February 9th 2016

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Not Family, But Friends