Ladyfight

Writers: Chelle, Paula
Date Posted: 8th March 2016

Characters: Lenala, Rhosyn
Description: Lenala comes to tell Rhosyn she feels overlooked.
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 4, day 6 of Turn 8
Notes: Mentioned: F'lin, Lanniya, Solieira, M'galec, Nisheyl; Follows a Moment of Escape

Lenala

Ever since the miscarriage, there had been resentment growing inside Lenala, and it was directed to Rhosyn. Did she care at all? Except for that brief visit at the infirmary, she seemed to avoid her. All she seemed to care was when Lenala would get back to her duties. She thought they were friends. Friends gave each other support. She had reached the stage where she was angry. "Rhosyn? Are you in? I need to talk with you."

As usual, she was sitting in her office trying to catch up on things. Lanniya wasn't that great at hidework and it showed. Sighing, she put them aside when she heard a familiar voice. Very curious and hoping it was a good sign, she nodded, wiping the tired look off her face. Hopefully Lenala was feeling better. "Sure, anytime."

Lenala walked in. Now that she was actually facing Rhosyn, she did not know how to start or what to stay. She opened her mouth, closed it and felt herself stupid.

"Here, have some water." She pushed a glass forward and gestured for Lenala to sit down.

Lenala sat down, took the glass, sipped the water and racked her brains for a starting line. "Do you even care?" she finally just blurted out, her tone bitter and frustrated.

Surprised and not really knowing what to say, Rhosyn was quiet-feeling things out first. "I'm sorry....I don't know what you're asking."

"About me, and what happened to me. Do you care about anything else but yourself?" Lenala asked again.

Her first reaction would have been something like: **How dare you? Here I have been working my butt off for this Weyr, trying to make sure you're left alone so you can get better, dealing with Lanniya who stinks at hidework, not sleeping, not eating, and basically being miserable and you think I only care about myself?** However, she remembered who she was talking to and why. It was strange because she hadn't been like that after Nisheyl. She'd just wanted everyone to leave her alone. She hadn't spoken about it-nothing. Lenala was different, though, and she dealt with things in a different way. **Used to being coddled most of her life.** Trying to pick the right words to say, the Weyrwoman still used her direct approach, but she carefully watched her tone.

"Yes I care about you and what happened to you. I told you that before-that I was sorry it happened and I hope things get better and if you needed anything, to let me know." She sounded confused, but the tension was there. And it was clear that it was very hard for Rhosyn to hold back her tongue, but she was doing it. That in itself showed a certain amount of deference.

"You don't show it. Only one, brief visit at the infirmary," Lenala said accusingly. No wonder she had started to feel like she was invisible again.

"During that visit you didn't seem to want to talk much. And we both know I'm no good at that stuff. So I thought you probably wanted to be left alone until you were ready to talk. And then I was working to take over your duties so you didn't have to worry about any of that either." Beyond tired of being made the villain, Rhosyn was almost ready to tell her to get off her high runner. "Lenala, when I was....having problems after Nisheyl was born I just wanted to left alone. I didn't want anyone to know-to talk about it-nothing. So I figured you wanted the same thing."

"That was right after the...tragedy. I was physically tired and weak and in no condition to talk. Sometimes it's not about talk, it's about just being there, even if you don't say a word. I don't want to be left alone. That's the worst that can happen to me," Lenala wasn't quite yelling but she was close. She also had tears in her eyes. "You might like to be left alone but I'm not _you_. I need _people_ around. I don't want to go back to that dark place in my mind where I was after M'galec." That had been before Rhosyn's arrival, she hadn't seen her then.

"Allright. Then tell me what you want. I don't want to see you hurting like this either. So whatever we need to do it, I'll make sure it's done. I just...I don't know how to fix this. It's not something I can fix with work, with pushing, with yelling. And I don't like being unable to fix it for you." She sighed and realized her hands had turned into fists and she opened them. Rhosyn looked at the ceiling. "No matter what anyone said before, you are a goldrider. You are a weyrwoman of River Bluff Weyr and a fine one. I saw you at the Hatching. You stood up and made Vilarth listen, Lenala. You can do a lot of things you don't think you can. And you can get through this too. You're a lot stronger than you think."

Well, that took the wind out of her sails. It was hard to stay angry after hearing that. "You never said anything like this before," Lenala said, blinking rapidly. She pretty much fell into a chair, the anger leaving her. "I've been trying. Trying to be a real weyrwoman, a real goldrider. Sometimes I feel like people haven't noticed it."

"I told you that you were doing a good job on your wing evaluations. If you weren't, I would have gone over that." Rhosyn knew that Lenala might not have been ready to believe her yet though. "And since that night...we haven't really spoken in depth. I was trying to give you time, to wait till you were ready before any sort of discussion since the healers hadn't said that you were solid yet." It was hard to explain she thought of Lenala as fragile right then and she was afraid of doing something to break her and lose whatever progress had been made.

"And you're not looking hard enough. People have noticed it. Haven't you seen how people listen to you now? People don't talk about you like they used to. When you go to work with the Headwoman's staff or discuss something for the wing with the healers...they act differently don't they? Hate to say it Lenala but being a goldrider is mostly a thankless job. People don't come out and say you know, Weyrwoman, you're doing a great job making sure none of us starve and we have everything we need." She shrugged, looking down at her desk and thinking about how she'd never heard much of that either. Then she remembered F'lin and smiled. "We get other things like better dresses, better weyrs, and whatever we want to eat. If you wait around for someone to give you a pat on the back everyday, you'll be waiting awhile."

Rhosyn did have a point and people had been treating her differently, more respectably. Lenala wanted to stay angry, wanted to yell at someone, but how could she after that? "Great, now you spoiled my plan of yelling at you," she said sourly but there was a tiny flash of humor beneath it.

"It really wasn't a good plan but the fact that you even thought of it says volumes. Remember when you were afraid of me?" She thrust a glass in Lenala's direction, pouring some wine into it. "We need a new plan. Especially about other duties Lanniya can do. She is no good at hidework. At all."

Lenala nodded. Yes, she remembered that. She straightened her back. "What is she good at?"

"She says she likes people. Beyond that, I'm not really sure yet. What did she show interest in while you were training her?" Rhosyn sighed and drank from her own glass.

"Getting dirty," Lenala quipped. "People do like her although I had trouble getting her to learn proper etiquette," she continued.

"Allright, well let's think about that. In the meantime, I think lunch is a better plan. I'm starving." Rhosyn stood up and pulled her tunic down. "You hungry?"

"Not really, but I can keep you company," Lenala replied. She did feel better after clearing the air between them.

Last updated on the March 13th 2016

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