Everything Is Fine

Writers: Heather
Date Posted: 6th May 2019

Characters: Saibra
Description: Saibra struggles.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 10, day 26 of Turn 9
Notes: Mentioned: R'enh

Saibra

Saibra drummed her fingers on the polished wooden surface of the table in her quarters. A drudge had brought up lunch, and there was enough for two, except one seat at the table was empty.

**Where is Mnoranth's?** she asked Chioneth while glancing at the time.

}:Mnoranth caught Miraoth.:{ Chioneth replied although she had a preoccupied tone since she was perched on the cliffs, watching the feeding pens for the perfect herdbeast.

**Ah.** Well, there went lunch, she supposed. In a way she was relieved, when she ate alone there was no one to comment on what she ate, or how much or little. Her blue eyes studied the meatrolls that sat on the platter. Her stomach twisted.

**Just one. Just eat one. It's all about portion control.** Saibra coached herself as she reached to the center of the table, her fingers trembling slightly as she picked up one of the meatrolls.

**It's okay. Just eat it.** She exhaled slowly through her nose and bit into the meatroll. The breading was buttery and light, the meat juicy and tender, everything a meatroll should be. Her eyes closed as she savored the flavor. **See? You can do it.** A trickle of relief passed through her as she swallowed the bite.

Suddenly ravenous, she stuffed the rest of the meatroll down, eating it in three bites. She reached for another and ate it just as quickly, and then another, and another.

By the time she was finished, Saibra heard the sound of talons on the weyrledge, and peered through the opening to see Chioneth's jasmine hide settling into the weyrcouch. Wiping her hands, Saibra stood and pressed a hand to her stomach. Scarfing all of that down so quickly had definitely been a mistake, she decided, feeling as though the food were sitting in the middle of her chest rather than in her stomach.

She passed in front of the mirror and paused to study her appearance. Hips still too round, belly too soft, arms... she squeezed her biceps .. too flabby. She hated everything she saw in the mirror, except her hair she supposed, that had at least escaped her pregnancy with the twins unscathed.

"Shells," she groaned, clapping her hand over her mouth as she raced to the midden bucket and retched. Beads of sweat glistened on her brow and her entire body ached from the purging. "Ugh..." she rested her forearms on the bucket, panting as she spat to rid her mouth of the rest.

Setting the bucket aside to be emptied, she wearily made her way over to the basin, splashing her face with cool water. Pressing her hands to her face and neck, Saibra straightened and looked back at the time once more.

**Where's Mnoranth's?** she asked Chioneth again.

}:He has not left the flight cots.:{ Chioneth answered.

Her gut twisted again and for a moment she was afraid she might need to go back to the bucket. Enough time had passed that he should have been out of the flight at this point. **That can only mean he stayed around for more....** Saibra thought, going back to the mirror. Her fingers pinched at the extra skin around her stomach. **Why wouldn't he?** she reasoned. **Why cut yourself short to come home to this?**

She and R'enh had never had the kind of relationship where they couldn't enjoy themselves in a mating flight. So why was this bothering her so much? she wondered.

}:Do you want me to have Mnoranth tell his rider you are looking for him?:{ Chioneth questioned.

**No!** Saibra's response was immediate and then followed by a more gentle, **No. Everything is fine.** She went to the table and grabbed the rest of the meatrolls that had been left over. **Everything is fine,** she repeated as she dumped the food in the trash.

**Everything is fine,** she said as she stood in front of the mirror once again.

**Everything is fine.**

Last updated on the May 6th 2019

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Everything Is Fine