Another Fight

Writers: AmajoS, Estelle
Date Posted: 8th June 2019

Characters: Benna, L'keri
Description: Benna and L'keri get into another fight when she brings up his past.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 11, day 1 of Turn 9

L'keri

Bumping into L'keri (almost literally) had been an accident. She'd
actually been avoiding him for a few days, which she thought was rather
fair since he was always trying to avoid her it seemed. Still, she had
missed him and seeing him now made something in her very happy. But also
concerned because he didn't look like the cheerful, brash brownrider she
knew. She wondered if he was still upset over his wingmate's death.

But the rest of her still remembered everything she been told by his son
and Orvena, and that part if her wished she'd known he was in this
corridor so she could have gone another way.

He had been distracted, as he often was these days when he wasn't
training with his Wing, or fighting Fall. He'd made the right decision,
accepted the reality of being a dragonrider in a Pass once and for all,
so why couldn't he stop thinking about it?

"Oh, sorry - " He recognised her and for a moment, despite all his
resolve, his heart leapt. She was why. And his reaction to her was why
he'd been trying to stay out of her way - that, and the guilt at how
badly he'd treated her, even though he'd tried to act for the best.

They stood staring at each other for a moment, before L'keri hesitantly
broke the silence. "How is Henerath?"

"She's well," Benna replied.

In truth, the green dragon was a bit grumpy. She didn't like this
estrangement between her rider and Rhalith's. In part because she
enjoyed the brown dragon's company, but also because it clearly made her
rider unhappy.

"Rhalith?" She asked in turn, shifting awkwardly and avoiding his eyes.

"He's fine." L'keri thought, uncomfortably, that this was not entirely
true. He could no more hide his feelings from his dragon than any rider,
and he could also tell that the brown was distressed by the increasing
number of evenings he spent drinking with his wingmates. Or alone, in
his weyr.

"So. You're...still running?" Immediately he'd said it, he wished he
hadn't. Of all the things he'd said the last time they spoke, he was
most ashamed of how he'd claimed not to enjoy their runs together. He
missed those early mornings, and though he'd had to give them up, he
regretted his angry words.

"Some of us still feel the need to keep fit," she replied a little
more sharply than she meant to. She was still hurt that he had spurned
their runs, which she had enjoyed so much.

"Yes, well. Maybe it's for the best." Now it was his turn to avoid her
gaze, embarrassed. "I clearly wasn't cut out for it."

Before she could stop herself, Benna demanded, "Is that your excuse
for everything?"

"Is...what?" He was caught off guard, having half expected her to agree
with him. "What do you mean?"

"Anytime things get even a little difficult, you just shrug and say,
'Oh well, I suck at this anyway' and give up." The image of Arten's
face as he said that his father wouldn't even try to make things
better between them floated in her mind as she said this. So did the
idea of the pregnant woman he'd left behind that she'd been told
about.

"That's not true!" L'keri said, indignant. "Just because I'm no good at
running..." His eyes narrowed. "What makes you think that?"

Part of her felt awkward, like she was butting in where she had no
right, but another part was mad and wanted to know what he was thinking,
and yet another part was sad and wanted to get to the bottom of it and
find out if she could help. If she even wanted to.

"Do you know that your son thinks you don't actually care about him at
all? That you'll just turn your back on him as soon as you decide he's
too much trouble. And maybe he's right. I wouldn't have thought so
before, but after what I heard about Ariadne, now I wonder."

He had drawn breath to respond to the accusation about his son, but the
name of his former weyrmate stopped him cold. His gaze hardened and he
stepped forward, reaching out to grasp her by the arms. "Who told you
about her?"

She resisted the urge to tell him that his grip on her arms was too
tight, edging past uncomfortable and into painful, and replied, "Why
wasn't it you that told me?"

"Because you didn't need to know!" He couldn't put into words the shame
he felt whenever he heard that name, nor the guilt and grief of knowing
that he could never make amends to her for what he'd done. Frustration
edged into anger at the unknown person who'd interfered, and his fingers
tightened. "Who told you?"

Benna fought to keep her expression completely neutral, though the added
pressure was beginning to actually hurt now. She almost didn't want to
tell him. He wanted to keep secrets, well she could too. But, she didn't
actually want to make things worse between them. Not that they could get
much worse.

"Orvena," she said through clenched teeth.

}:Tell your rider to let go of mine, he's hurting her.:{ Henerath
interceded suddenly, bespeaking Rhalith.

L'keri's jaw tightened as he recognised the name - and then suddenly,
hearing his dragon's warning, he released her and backed away, appalled
at what he'd done. "I'm - I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

She took a step back and made a show of straightening her tunic to
give herself time to settle down before replying, "No. I suppose you
didn't." She wanted too much to cry and scream and throw things in
this moment and wanted even more not to do any of it in front of
L'keri.

"I think I'll go now." She turned and began walking away, her pace
carefully slow and casual and her spine rigid. Now that he couldn't
see her face, she let the tears fall. She still loved him, she knew
it. She also knew that she had no idea how to fix things between them,
or even if she actually wanted to at this point.

L'keri watched her go, helpless. **Say something! Don't let her go
like this...** But what could he say? He couldn't tell her that he
wasn't the man who had abandoned his weyrmate and her unborn child,
who'd failed his son and daughter. He couldn't take back those
decisions.

**Orvena,** he thought, the bitterness seeping through him like a
poison. He vaguely remembered the greenrider from River Bluff. What
business did she have, interfering in his life? Hadn't he suffered
enough?

One thing was for certain. He needed a drink. More than one. Enough to
forget the misery that seemed to follow in his wake, no matter how
many new starts he tried to make.

Last updated on the June 16th 2019

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Another Fight