Golden Support

Writers: Heather, Miriah
Date Posted: 7th September 2019

Characters: Saibra, Lanniya
Description: Saibra and Lanniya confide in each other with their current problems.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 12, day 23 of Turn 9
Notes: Mentioned: R'enh, F'lin, K'yne, J'lor

Saibra

Lanniya

Even though there was real work sitting on her desk to be done, Saibra
found that she could not focus on it. Her mind was too busy being full
of other things. R'enh. K'yne. That bluerider mindhealer J'lor.
Grabbing a sweater, Saibra wrapped herself in it and walked down to
Lanniya's smaller office.

"You ready for a break?" she asked, peeking into the goldrider's office.

Lanniya jerked her head up from her desk blinking sleepily. "What?
Hm?" She rubbed her eyes and then looked up. Hurriedly sitting
straight, she made an effort to straighten the rather messy desk into
some semblance of order. "Oh, uh, yes. Sorry. I'm working!"

"First trimester sleepies, or just normal sleepies?" Saibra asked as
she came in and seated herself across from Lanniya with a grin.

Lanniya looked a little shame faced, but only a little. "A bit of
both. K'ale, he, uh, really likes the baby bump and uhm, well..." She
grinned, "He really really likes it."

Saibra laughed, remembering how that had been with her and K'fel, but
that quickly made her sigh, the smile fading from her face. "That must
be nice. R'enh told me my ass is flat and asked if my breasts have
gone on vacation."

"He did what?" Lanniya blinked and stared at Saibra. "But.. why?"

"His way of making a point, I guess," Saibra said, although her blue
eyes looked shimmery. "He thinks I'm too skinny."

"Saibra," Lanniya said gently, "you're thinner than I was before I
got pregnant. And you're taller than me. You do look too thin and
he's not the only one that's worried about you."

"Oh, I know," Saibra snorted, looking down. "I, uh," it was
embarrassing but she needed to tell someone, and she hadn't worked up
the familiarity with J'lor yet to be quite so honest, "propositioned
K'yne and..." her voice hitched with emotion and a touch of confusion,
"he turned me down."

"Oh, Saibra." Lanniya's were concerned and she moved quickly around
the desk to wrap her arm around the Weyrwoman's shoulder. "It's
okay... maybe he's worried too. And you have R'enh. He loves you.
K'yne's a jerk."

Saibra laughed a little, even though tears were on her cheeks. "He is
a jerk, sometimes, but he's been there during difficult times in my
life." She sighed. "I know R'enh loves me but... I don't know... we
don't communicate well."

"I can relate. " Lanniya admitted. "I don't either. What ever is in
my brain kind of pops out of my mouth and it isn't always a good
thing." She gave Saibra another hug, not completely understanding.
She'd never had a problem talking to R'enh, but she wasn't weyrmated
to him. "Well, how do you talk to each other?"

"Usually he says something and it pisses me off," she admitted with a
watery laugh. "And then whatever I say to him in return makes him mad.
It didn't used to be so hard for us to talk."

"My grandmother always said that you should think before you speak
because you can't take back words, even if you apologize. She tried
to teach me that." She frowned. Had she and K'ale ever really fought?
She didn't think they had. "You think maybe that neither of you do
that?"

"I think we do, I think we're just... I don't know, on different
wavelengths ever since the twins were born. Having children changes
things sometimes."

That brought immediate worry. Would her own relationship change?
Would she and K'ale start arguing? She swallowed, but pushed the
thought away. "So you need to get back on the same wavelength. Have
you told him that you want to?"

Saibra sighed. "No, I haven't. I'm afraid that will go poorly too.
I'll talk to J'lor about it first... I've started seeing him."

"Maybe that's a good idea." Lanniya pulled up a chair to sit by
Saibra. "Maybe you both should go. "

"That's an idea," she said, wondering if R'enh would do it. She turned
and looked at Lanniya. "Am I really too skinny?"

She nodded slowly. "Yes. You are. I can see your bones, Saibra, and
I'm not a Healer, but I'm pretty sure that it's not good for you. "

"I guess there is something wrong with me. When I look in the mirror I
don't see anything wrong." Saibra chewed on her lower lip as she
looked down at herself.

Lanniya didn't know how to answer that, but said the first thing that
came to mind. "Well your mirror is really screwed up then."

Saibra exhaled, letting her head drop back as she sighed. "Ugh. I
don't know how to fix it, or make myself see it. I guess I'll have to
tell J'lor this the next time I see him. He always makes me 'think
about things' and report back to him on what I thought about."

"Thinking about things isn't so bad. But sometimes I think about
things too much. I was sure you were going to be upset at me and I
was really sure K'ale was going to be upset about not being sure if he
was the baby's father. Maybe J'lor is right, though." Lanniya tilted
her head. "If it were me, what would you tell me?"

"I would tell you to keep seeing the mindhealer until you no longer
felt the need to starve yourself at every meal." Saibra whispered,
realizing even as she said it that she _needed_ to talk to J'lor.
"Thank you, Lanniya."

"I didn't do anything, but you're welcome." Lanniya watched
Saibra, and lightly took her hand. "It'll be okay. "

"I'm so glad you came to Dragonsfall. I don't know if I ever told you
that." Saibra said, placing her hand over Lanniya's.

"Really?" Lanniya gave a smile. "Thanks. I know I still need to
learn a lot, but I hope I'm doing well."

"You are. You will make a fine Weyrwoman some day.... When you aren't
sleeping on your desk," her lips quirked into a grin.

"Blame K'ale." She answered promptly, then grinned. "You think so?
Well not any time soon, please. I'd really rather not right now.
With the baby and trying to figure out things about the three men,
I'm too full of responsibility. "

"Yes well, if R'enh ever says your breasts have gone missing you have
full permission to slap his handsome face." Saibra giggled.

Lanniya looked down at her own meager assets. "Well, honestly,
Saibra, they're barely there anyway. "

This time there were tears in the Weyrwoman's eyes from laughter as
she held her sides. "Oh dear," she wiped her cheeks. "Thank you so
much for listening to me whine."

"I'm hoping that once I get farther along I can actually get
cleavage." She piped up, merrily. "Then tell K'ale that 'they're for
the baby', just to see the look on his face." She grinned with pure
mischief, then squeezed Saibra's hand. " It's not whining, Saibra. You
need to talk, I get that."

"Yes, well, if you need an ear while you're juggling your three baby
daddies, just know I'm always here to listen." Saibra said, returning
the squeeze.

Lanniya's grin faltered. "Well, honestly, it's not much of a juggle. I
haven't seen F'lin since I told him. He hasn't visited. I think it was
really shocking to him. And R'enh, he's been really good. Not pushing
and just said he'd be a part if I wanted him to be." She laid her hand
on her belly. "K'ale will be the father no matter who put the baby
there, it's just that..." She sighed and shook her head. "It'll be
fine."

"It's just that what?" Saibra asked.

"I miss F'lin. I miss him a lot." She shrugged. "I used to go and see
him and I haven't been able to and I think he's uncomfortable coming
here because of K'ale. And K'ale would rather him not be here, it's
kind of our place. But he was more than just someone I slept with. He
was my friend too. One of the first friends at a Weyr I had. I
just...I really miss him. Sometimes so much, my heart hurts, you
know?"

Saibra did know, sometimes the polyamorous relationships of the Weyr
were strained, or difficult to maintain. "Should I invite him here and
not tell him why? There's a comfy couch in my office, you two are
welcome to it," she grinned.

Lanniya almost leaped upon the idea, then paused. "No..." She sighed.
"He would consider it dishonest and I promised not to do that to him.
I can't break that promise. I think I lost him for good." She looked
at Saibra and her eyes moistened. She hurriedly wiped them. "Sorry, my
emotions change so quick now. Sometimes I'm laughing and crying within
minutes. It's silly. I have a weyrmate and K'ale is wonderful. I love
him very much. But I feel for F'lin differently."

"It's possible to love two different people in two different ways."
Saibra assured Lanniya, reaching out to pat her shoulder. "You can
travel again when you get into the second trimester. Maybe you can go
see him then?"

"I just came into the second trimester, but I think K'ale's still
worried about it, so I haven't tried /betweening/. I do want to see my
sister, Y'gel, and Cyradis too. I don't know. I'm afraid I'll go and
he won't want to see me. He'll be going to the new Weyrhold, I know
it, he misses Riverbluff so much and he was excited when he found out
about it. He'll be really busy there. Maybe too busy for me."

Saibra shook her head. "Don't over think it. Men are simple, usually,
they eat, sleep, and have sex. I doubt he's avoiding you, but he might
be busy with work. That doesn't mean he doesn't want to see you. You
and I could go together to check out progress at the Weyrhold? And if
he happens to be there...? That's not dishonest, that's just doing
work with your Weyrwoman and having a happy coincidence happen."

That brought a small smile. "Maybe that would work. I don't know when
he's going, but I do really want to see him, Saibra. I want to know
that we're okay."

"Don't you worry, I'll find out that information, too. I'll make sure
that our visit to the Weyrhold is at the most opportune time," she
winked.

"Thank you, Saibra. For your help." She rubbed the little bump. "Will
you be upset if the baby looks like R'enh?"

Saibra's eyes softened. "Not at all, that just means he or she will
fit right in with Brenha and Saihen."

"It'll be my first. Maybe we'll never know. I just want the baby to be
loved. I know K'ale loves it already. He sings to my belly sometimes.
Do you think...that maybe our babies can play together?"

"Of course our babies will play together. If you haven't visited the
creche yet and talked with the foster mothers, you could see if Saihen
and Brenha's foster mother has room for your babe, too."

"I haven't yet. I know it'll need to go to a foster mother, it's just
hard to think about. I wish my mother would come and do it, but she's
so happy to be back with the caravan, I don't want to ask. She said my
father turned white, red, then green when he found out I was
pregnant. He's, well, he still sees me as twelve, so I don't know that
he'd be good around K'ale for a turn or two."

Saibra nodded, remembering how hard it had been when she had first
sent Saidrene to a foster mother. "It's hard at first but then it
becomes more comfortable. There are some really wonderful foster
mothers here who will love and dote on your baby as if they were their
own."

"I know. And I know I'll have to. But I hope I'll have to breast feed
and spend some time with the baby before it goes to a foster mother.
Just a little time."

"You'll have at least six to eight sevendays," Saibra assured her. She
hadn't been fortunate enough to supply enough milk to regularly feed
the twins and had needed a milk mother almost immediately.

"Good. Would you mind too much when it comes helping if you can?
You're more experienced with babies than I am."

"I would love to," Saibra smiled. "There is nothing like those first
few days after the baby arrives. It's the best. You will love it."

"I hope so." She looked over at Saibra. "Lets go get some pie. You and
me both. I'm really wanting pie."

Saibra's hand automatically went to her stomach but she caught the gesture and forced a smile and a nod. "Yes, pie, lets do it."

Last updated on the September 23rd 2019

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