Just Sleep

Writers: Shelly, Eimi
Date Posted: 7th April 2006

Characters: U'kaiah, Syntara, Ch'levi
Description: U'kaiah learns of Syntara's threadscore from Ch'levi and goes to see her.
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 11, day 4 of Turn 3

"Ch'levi! What are you doing here?" U'kaiah grinned as he clapped a
hand on his old friend's shoulder. "Shards its been turns! Does River
Bluff no longer suit you? Are you coming back to us?"

"Are you kidding? I'm bound to River Bluff Weyr forever, I'm afraid.
My weyrmate Jaloro is studying for his master's knots under the
Weyrharper there. What can I do?" he shrugged with a grin. "I hear
you've come to visit Abrei and Syntara a few times. Why never me?"

"Because I know you're secretly in love with me," the bronzerider
laughed, "And I wouldn't want to steal you away from your weyrmate."

"How very kind of you," Ch'levi chuckled. "So have you been to visit
Syntara since she was scored?"

"No, I haven't," U'kaiah said, his smile taking on a slightly fake
quality to it. **Scored?** "But you can tell me all about it over
lunch..."

~*~

"Syntara?" U'kaiah called from the ledge. "Are you there?"

The greenrider remained curled up in her chair without moving. She
recognized U'kaiah's voice, but she wasn't sure if she really wanted to
see him or not. He'd come in, handsome and strong, and see her small,
weak, and tired. Maybe if she didn't say anything he'd leave...

}:She's here, and she's awake,:{ his bronze informed him.

He took a few steps into the weyr, letting his eyes adjust to the dimmer
surroundings than the bright sunshine outside. They slowly came to
focus on the greenrider huddled in her chair. "Tara?"

Shards. There'd be no avoiding the man now. "Hello, U'kaiah." The
greenrider made a feeble attempt at sounding cheerful.

The change in her was immediately apparent to one who had known her so
intimately. It was as if the light that had radiated in her had
suddenly been snuffed out. His heart ached for whatever pain, for he
knew it was not just physical, that was tormenting her. Crouching down
in front of her, he searched her familiar dark eyes. "Shards love.
What's happening here?"

Syntara shrugged a shoulder and rolled her eyes. "Didn't you hear? I was
'scored." She said it sweetly, but there was a distinct bite of
bitterness to it. She looked him in the eye and found that he didn't
seem to be much better off than she was. "What's your excuse?"

He gave a snort. She knew him too well. "I was demoted."

"Wine?"

He nodded and stood to his feet. "I'll get it."

Syntara lifted herself from the chair with what seemed enormous effort,
deciding that the couch would be more appropriate. Now that she was
honestly looking at him, U'kaiah did seem a bit thinner and tired than
usual. "Your story first."

"Oh, not much to tell really," he said as he pulled the cork out of a
bottle of wine. "A wingrider had sex with Sarian on my desk, I lost it,
threw him over a table and basically tried to kill him in the middle of
the dinning hall. That's all it took for me to lose my knots." He
turned around with two full glasses of wine and the bottle tucked
against his body. "That's it."

"That's it? Runner shit." Syntara laughed. "But I suspect it'll all come
out once we get a little wine in you..."

"And you?" he asked as he handed a glass to her.

"Exactly what it looks like." Syntara pulled up her tunic a little and
tugged at her pants to reveal just a piece of her scar. "I was 'scored."
She accepted the glass gratefully and drained half of it in one drought.

"And?"

"And I've gone back to the being the woman I was when I first came to
River Bluff and everybody acts like it's some big deal. Something
shocking."

"Runner shit," he said before draining the whole of his glass. "I knew
the woman you were when you came to River Bluff. I knew her too well
for your own comfort, perhaps."

"I don't know what you're talking about." A certain hardness came into
her eyes. "I've always been the rider that beds half the weyr and drinks
about as much as she tumbles. Nothing's changed."

He reached out to lightly trace a finger along her cheek. "Your eyes
have changed, Tara. I know your eyes too well not to notice."

She knew she couldn't hide it from him, that that didn't mean she had to
tell him. She leaned against the bronzerider after refilling her glass.
"Maybe something has changed..."

U'kaiah wrapped an arm around her and rested his chin on the top of her
head. "It worries me to see you so changed, Syntara. You don't look...
happy."

"Probably because I'm not." She settled into his arms the way she did
when they were together. "But I'm dealing with it."

"You know, you always did this," U'kaiah said with a tolerant sigh,
rubbing her back gently. "You always shut yourself off from everyone
and you were always so determined to just deal with everything alone.
Even when you don't have to."

Syntara sipped her wine silently, ignoring the tears forming in her
eyes. "I don't have to, but you know as well as I do that dealing with
things on your own is sometimes best. It's not like you go running to
other people any more often than I do."

"No, I just explode and start fights in the dining hall," U'kaiah
snorted. "It's not a good way to deal."

"I should be so lucky..."

"How so?"

"To just get it all out in one shot like that." She shrugged a casual
shoulder. "It'd be easier than how things are now."

"And why do you think it is that we can't seem to do that?" he asked.

"We're cursed." She said simply. "Our destinies are what we make of them
and we've turned out to be poor creators indeed."

The bronzerider snorted and pulled her closer. "Do you think that its
too late for us?"

"Maybe not for you." Sytnara became very silent and sipped more wine.

He set her glass down and tilted her chin to look up at him. Kissing
her lightly he whispered, "I can't believe that you are so lost that I
can't find you."

There were tears in Syntara's eyes. "I know, U'kaiah. Shards I know."
She curled her legs up to her chest as best she could and pulled the
bronzerider closer.

He wrapped himself around her, gently rocking. U'kaiah knew better than
to push Syntara. He had tried that tactic before with her, and had only
ended up pushing her away. The bronzerider had learned patience since
then, and if it took all night, or several nights, he could wait for her
to be ready in her own time.

After a few minutes and a few silent tears, Syntara pulled away and
looked up at the man who had loved her so well. "Stay with me tonight?"
She hardly wanted to be alone and U'kaiah was just about the only man
that she knew she could just lay beside.

"Do you even have to ask?" U'kaiah said with a reassuring smile. "I
even brought my toothbrush just in case."

Syntara rolled her eyes. "You did not."

"Its in my bag with my clothes for tomorrow strapped to Kalamath," he
said with a nod towards the ledge. "When have we visited each other and
_not_ stayed? I figured the chances were in my favor."

She loved that he knew her so well. How different both their lives would
have been if things had worked between them. "Well, then, let's go to
bed, hm?"

"Yes, I think its about that time," U'kaiah nodded as he stood and
offered her his hand.

Syntara took his hand and smiled as he lead her to bed - even though she
knew they'd just sleep.

Last updated on the April 22nd 2006

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