I'm Here

Writers: Miriah
Date Posted: 6th December 2020

Characters: Jalodwyn, Yasha
Description: Yasha arrives at Dolphin Hall and finds Jalodwyn
Location: Dolphin Hall
Date: month 8, day 12 of Turn 9
Notes: Mentioned: Thayde

"Jalodwyn?" Yasha pushed open the door and was greeted immediately by
her friend, rushing forward to wrap her arms around her waist.
"Hey...I got here as soon as I could."

"Thank Faranth," Jalodwyn hugged the tall woman tightly, resting her
head on her shoulder. "I thought you'd be gone another sevenday."

"He had me out for two, but the transfer orders came in before the
second started. I caught another ship headed this way. What happened?
There wasn't much explanation and I didn't know what was going on. I
thought Mentin was just being an ass again. Why are we here of all
places? I thought you'd never come back here."

Jalodwyn brought her to the couch and quietly explained everything
that had occurred, from Thayde visiting, the resulting argument and
threats, then the transfer. "I really didn't have much choice."

"Oh jays..." Yasha rubbed her eyes, wrapping her arm around Jalodwyn's
shoulder. "We'll get through this, Jalodwyn."

"He's going to try to take her. I just know it. He didn't want her at
all, but now that she's here, he'll try to take her. He'll take her
and I'll have nothing left." A surge of almost-panic surged through
her at the thought, making her heart pound erratically . "I can't lose
her. I can't..."

"Hey...hey stop..." Yasha turned just enough to cup Jalodwyn's face in
her palm. "Look at me. Breathe...in and out...slowly. In....out...."
She watched as Jalodwyn focused on her eyes and saw the signs of the
slow breathing calming the oncoming panic. "You can't think like that.
You know what thinking like that does."

Jalodwyn slowly nodded, her gaze never leaving Yasha's. "I know."

"Okay then. Keep breathing, that's it..." She stroked Jalodwyn's cheek
softly. "Alright, now listen to me. I'm here. You're going to be okay.
Jalotha isn't going anywhere. You're her mother. Thayde hasn't even
acknowledged her. We'll do exactly as we did before. We'll do our
duties and take care of her together. Nothing is going to change.
Everything is going to be okay." She bent and pressed her brow against
Jalodwyn's gently. "We'll be okay."

The calm words soothed Jalodwyn's fractured nerves and she slipped her
hand up to lightly curl around Yasha's neck. "We'll be okay." She
slowly nodded, face close to Yasha's. "Why are you so good to me? I'm
so messed up."

"Because you need it. " Yasha smiled gently, "And maybe I need to be
good to you too."

"I don't know why." Jaldowyn whispered softly. "I'm sorry that you
were transferred too. Jade Harbor was your home. But I just couldn't
not have you here with me. I panicked. I thought I was going to lose
you and...I couldn't do it."

Yasha pulled away just enough to cup both of Jalodwyn's cheeks in her
hands. "No, don't apologize. You gave up your knots for me and I'm
glad you got them back. I didn't want you to do that. I don't want to
lose you either and I want to be here with you."

Jalodwyn's eyes began to water and she wrapped her arms around Yasha's
neck in a close embrace, burying her face in her neck. She felt the
warmth of Yasha's hands stroke her back, then pull her close, offering
comfort. She stayed that way, in that warm embrace for what seemed
like an eternity, but not long enough before she slowly pulled back.

Her eyes met Yasha's dark ones, then hesitating for only a moment, she
pressed her lips gently against Yasha's own. When Yasha went still,
Jalodwyn knew she'd made a horrible mistake. How could she have done
that? Why had she done that? "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, Yasha. I don't
know why I did that. I.." She was surprised when Yasha quieted her
apologies with a return of her lips; it was a gentle, sweet kiss, warm
hands moving to stroke her cheeks and before long, Jalodwyn's head was
swimming.

Yasha pulled away slowly, her voice soft. "Don't apologize for that
either. I've been wanting to do that for a long time. I just didn't
think you thought of me that way."

"The rumors about you..." Jalodwyn realized now that there was a
reason that those rumors about the pair of them had flourished so
quickly.

Yasha gave a half-smile. "Mostly true. I don't _hate_ men. I just
don't want them in my bed. I've had to be quiet about it...obviously."

"But you never said anything."

"No. I didn't. You were hurting and alone. I know what that's like,
but I didn't want to feel like I was taking advantage."

"You're not." Jalodwyn placed her fingertips on Yasha's cheeks. "I'd
like to do that again, actually."

"Are you sure? You're upset and..." She sighed as Jalodwyn pressed her
lips against hers, and while there was still sweetness to it, there
was more underneath that pulled to both women.

Later in the evening, with only a few glows uncovered, two bare women
curled together on Jalodwyn's bed, the taller and darker of the two
stroking her long fingers through Jalodwyn's sweat dampened hair as
she laid her head on Yasha's shoulder. Both were content, simply
enjoying the feel and presence of the other. Jalodwyn spoke softly as
her fingers stroked at Yasha's side. "What happens now?"

"I want to be with you." The answer was quietly simple. " But honestly
this isn't going to be easy, Jal. Outside of our quarters, we can't
change how we act around each other. You know that it won't be
accepted. We can't let people know we're not just friends."

"I'm not accepted anyway." Jalodwyn pointed out and looked up at
Yasha. "And people are going to talk as it is."

"Let them talk. They did before, but that was just to talk." Slender
fingers played through her hair, stroking it away from the brow. "I'm
not ashamed of you or this, so please don't think that. But let's just
keep this to ourselves. The less stress on all of us the better,
especially for Jalotha. Maybe after we get really settled and people
figure out that we're not all that interesting it'll change, but for
right now..." Yasha pressed her lips to Jalodwyn's hair. "Just here,
okay?"

Jalodwyn nodded. "I'm not ashamed either. Not of this. But you're
right. Just here." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes; this
felt so very precious to her. Something she wasn't willing to share
with anyone. For the first time in a long time, she felt happy.

Last updated on the December 7th 2020

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