The Sting of Rejection
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Yvonne
Date Posted: 5th February 2021
Characters: H'run
Description: H'run deals with being turned down by K'mai and comes to a realization.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 8, day 19 of Turn 10
Notes: Mentioned: K'mai, T'lat
It was happening _again_. H'run slammed his weyr door and slumped against it. The indifferent look on K'mai's face as he brushed him off for some inspid child of a greenrider... why did this happen every time he opened up and gave his heart to someone? Why would K'mai turn him down like that? Nobody actually cared if T'lat's green dragon got a compliment at drills. All the dragons got compliments. It was a leadership technique to build motivation and trick dragonriders into trying harder, but didn't mean anything more than the wind the leaders used to form the words.
The bluerider groaned and rubbed his hands against his face. H'run had very openly propositioned K'mai and K'mai had ignored it like he hadn't even heard H'run speak. He'd even tried to use H'run to help him flatter and seduce that greenrider. Didn't K'mai know that H'run loved him?!
H'run froze. **I do,** he thought wonderingly. **I love K'mai.** His heart ached at the thought, and his arms felt so empty. And K'mai had chosen some greenrider over _him_. But why? T'lat was well dressed but so was H'run, so that couldn't be it. Perhaps it was because the greenrider had dreamy blue-grey eyes and willowy limbs, and he was so fresh-faced and impressionable and _young_...
H'run look up at his reflection in the long mirror by his bed. The face that looked back at him looked _old_. He preened for a moment to try make himself feel better, but he still ended up turning away from his reflection in disgust. Clearly he wasn't attractive enough for K'mai. **Every time I care about someone it turns out that they hate the sight of me.**
}:That is not true. Not everyone hates you.:{ H'run could hear Calcifeth sigh all from his couch. :}And perhaps you are not actually in love with K'mai.:{
**You remember his name. That means I think of him enough to be in love.**
}:This emotion you feel... you have felt this before and it wasn't love,:{ Calcifeth said wearily. }:Don't be lonely. I am here, and I am sure that you will find human company elsewhere if you look.:{
H'run glared toward the door to Calcifeth's couch. **You are supposed to support me and believe me, you tunnelsnake of a dragon! If I say I'm in love, I am in love.**
}:I am merely telling you what I see in your heart. You don't have to like it,:{ Calcifeth said.
H'run sighed again. **Why did I even bother Impressing? You are an awful life partner.**
}:I chose _you_,:{ Calcifeth said tartly. }:You are mine now. I do not care what you say, I know that you love me.:{
**Fat lot of good it's done me,** H'run muttered. He pushed himself away from the door and went to find the bottle of wine he'd offered to K'mai. It had been intended as a gift but now he didn't feel like sharing. H'run jabbed his belt knife into the cork and opened the bottle with an angry twist of his wrist. He took a swallow without bothering to find a glass. There was no point in being classy if there was nobody who cared enough to see him.
Red wine was dreadful drunk straight from the bottle. **Good.** H'run grimaced and took another swig. Why was K'mai being so cruel? Why was he flaunting his younger, more limber greenrider like that? **I'm not pretty enough,** he realized. **What's the point of anything if I'm not attractive?**
If he couldn't find love, then he could at least devote himself to other things. The lonely life of a scholar, perhaps. **I'm going to the Archives,** he told Calcifeth. **Don't you _dare_ tell anyone that I'm there tonight.** He picked up the bottle, took another swig to sooth his bruised heart, and headed out the door. He briefly entertained a fantasy of K'mai coming to find him and apologize, and having to wander all through the Weyr without knowing where he was... but K'mai wouldn't come. Nobody ever came for him. It was just going to be himself, his wine and the Archives.
Fine, then. If he couldn't be with the man he loved, he might as well bury himself in his Craft. H'run jammed the cork back into the bottle so it wouldn't spill on his fine green tunic and set off for the Archives, preparing himself to have a thoroughly awful evening.
Last updated on the February 19th 2021