You're Not Listening

Writers: Devin, Yvonne
Date Posted: 17th February 2021

Characters: H'run, K'mai
Description: H'run and K'mai make up
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 8, day 20 of Turn 10
Notes: Mentioned: Gaiya, T'lat, Uetia

H'run

K'mai

While K'mai had been able to put it out of his mind and enjoy the evening with T'lat, the incident with H'run started eating at him the next day. As soon as drills were over, K'mai hurried over to his fellow bluerider. "Hey, H'run. I hate how we left things. Can we talk?"

H'run turned slowly, barely able to look at K'mai as he pulled off his gloves. The remains of a hangover and a too-late night throbbed beneath his skull. He considered brushing K'mai off, but chances were that doing so wouldn't make K'mai feel half as miserable as he felt. He sighed. "I suppose."

"I didn't mean to upset you. I was trying to include you in the conversation." K'mai fought the urge to apologize. He hadn't done
anything wrong, _H'run_ had been the rude one.

"Oh. So _that's_ what that was," H'run said flatly.

"If I'd been talking to you, and someone had come and interrupted us, I wouldn't have abandoned _you_ either. No matter how tempting the offer." Shards, K'mai hated all this tension.

H'run lifted his brows. "So you knew I had propositioned you after all. A simple 'no thanks' would have sufficed."

"I didn't want to outright reject you either." K'mai ran a hand through his hair. "I hadn't yet made plans for the rest of the night,
but I _was_ in the middle of a conversation. I'd hoped we could all at least chat for a while."

"Oh. So you wanted me to sit there and smile while you deliberated who you wanted to take to your weyr that night," H'run said flatly. That almost hurt worse than the rejection. "Thank you for clarifying. It makes me feel _so_ much better."

Oh no, he was making things worse. "I'm sorry if I made you feel unwanted or rejected." K'mai sighed. Maybe it was better to be
straightforward. "But I was talking to T'lat and you acted like he didn't exist."

Hurt flashed across H'run's face, and he let it. "Do you honestly think I approached you because of T'lat? I was there because of _you_. Just you. Because I love you. And you made it quite clear that I wasn't who you wanted."

K'mai reached for him then, he couldn't help it. He took H'run's hand. "H'run, I didn't mean to hurt you. The only reason I didn't want you right in that moment was because you were rude to my friend. I wasn't rejecting you, I was making sure T'lat didn't feel abandoned." There was that pesky word "love" they should probably address. Shards.

"I was there for _you_ but you wanted that greenrider instead." H'run clutched at K'mai's hand like a lifeline. They were attracting
attention, but he didn't care. He needed to know. "Can you honestly tell me that you didn't spend the night with him?"

Even if it was painful, K'mai didn't want to lie about this. "I did spend the night with him, because you left." He squeezed H'run's hand. "Please don't make this into a competition. I care for both of you." He couldn't help thinking of Gaiya, and how things had gone so wrong because they misunderstood each other.

K'mai might as well have stabbed him right through the heart. H'run slumped onto the nearest chair, tears glimmering on his long lashes. In a perverse way he felt satisfied that he'd proven his misery right-- and that there was a small audience of nosy wingmates to appreciate it. "Of course it's not a competition," he said softly. "How could I possibly complete with someone young and beautiful like that? I know exactly, _exactly_ where I stand in comparison."

Oh shards, now he'd made him cry. "As if you aren't one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen." K'mai rubbed at his shoulder. "And it isn't just your looks. It's your voice, your talent, your clever mind. H'run, you're incredibly attractive for a variety of reasons." They were causing a scene and people were going to talk. But, well, such was weyrlife.

"That's what you _say_ but actions speak louder than words," H'run said piteously. "If you meant any of that, then you wouldn't have shrugged me off for that greenrider."

"You _left_. And I was . . . well, a bit angry with how you treated him, so I didn't feel like running after you." K'mai slid his hand up to gently stroke his neck. "Could I make it up to you tonight?"

"Maybe." The way K'mai was touching him did help, but still... "But I can't believe you'd call me _rude_ for not wanting to waste my time speaking with someone who you'd chosen over me. I have more self respect for myself than to sit there and smile while I am _dying_ inside. I refuse to help you seduce someone else!"

K'mai's hand stilled. If it was only about himself he could have let it go, but he didn't want H'run to ever treat T'lat like that again. "We were just _talking_, and I didn't choose him over you. You and I didn't have plans that night. You walked in and expected me to abandon my friend as if his feelings didn't matter. All you had to do was treat him with respect, talk to both of us for a little while, and then I could've gone up to your weyr."

H'run turned his big, glistening eyes to K'mai. "How would I know that? As much as I wish I could, I can't read your mind."

"Instead you assumed that if I didn't leave with you immediately that I was rejecting you."

"Well, I asked and in response you flattered T'lat. Of course I did."

"Because you ignored him and I wanted to smooth things over." K'mai sighed. "Whether or not we're sharing a bed, T'lat is my _friend_." An unpleasant thought occurred to him. "Are you going to act like that if I'm with Uetia and our daughter?" Though frankly Uetia might deck H'run if he was rude to her.

H'run stiffened. "What do you mean, 'act like that'? I left to give you _space_, and I've already told you why I thought you wanted it. And you've never mentioned this Uetia to me before, so how would I know who she is?!"

K'mai was sure he must have mentioned Uetia at some point. "Uetia is one of my closest friends and we have a daughter together."

H'run sniffed and dabbed at his eyes. K'mai wasn't the first person he'd fallen for with a family, and it didn't change the depth of how he felt. Weyrs were like that. "How old is your daughter?"

"She's two."

"They're so funny at that age. What's her name?"

"Sabia." K'mai smiled, relieved to move on to a happier subject. "Do you have any kids?"

H'run shook his head. "Not that I know about. Saiba's lucky to have you as a father."

"Thanks. She's my first, at least that I know about. I maybe spoil her a little." K'mai's smile widened.

"I'd assume nothing less. You're a kind man." It was as much of an an olive branch as H'run could muster. He was still hurt, but K'mai was being stubborn and refused to see things from his perspective. It wasn't about the greenrider per se, but the situation, but he could see that he wasn't going to get anywhere with it tonight. He sighed and rubbed his eyes with one hand. "I hope that you'll let me meet her one day. If she looks like you, she'll be adorable."

"Flatterer." K'mai chuckled. "She takes mostly after her momma, but that just makes her _more_ adorable." He started stroking H'run's neck again. "But tonight it should be just us, don't you think?"

He had a headache, he was exhausted, and his heart still felt bruised. But he still _wanted_ K'mai. H'run nodded. "I'd like that."

K'mai bent to kiss him, a soft press of lips. "I'll go get cleaned up. Have Calcifeth let Sebeth know when you're ready."

H'run nodded. "All right." He didn't want K'mai to leave him, but the other bluerider was right-- he was a mess. They both were. Some time to press a cold cloth against his eyes would do a lot to set himself right.

"I'll bring dinner." K'mai hoped they could put this unpleasant incident behind them.

Last updated on the February 19th 2021

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