Surrendering to It

Writers: Miriah, Suzee
Date Posted: 12th January 2022

Characters: Sophque, Yriadha
Description: Sophque and Yriadha discuss intense emotions and how to deal with them
Location: Sunstone Seahold
Date: month 12, day 9 of Turn 10
Notes: Mentioned: Bryvin, Asaile, Wirnan, Brina

Sophque

Yriadha

Yriadha handed Sophque a glass of wine and settled in the chair
opposite her, taking a deep breath as she drew her braid over her
shoulder. "I'm glad you decided to visit tonight, you should come more
often."

"Sophine is getting to that age when I can't really trust that she
will stay where I put her," Sophque chuckled. "But not old enough to
understand the dangers." She shrugged. "She scares me sometimes," she
shook her head. "The girl is too much like her father." She smiled and
lifted a knowing eyebrow at her friend. Taking a sip from her glass
she savored the flavor. "This is nice."

"I can relate. My boys were all like that around her age, even
Riadem. I'm sure Yavin will be the worst about it. He's already full
of mischief and I'm afraid Brylex bears the brunt of his pranks." She
gave a slight smile at the knowledge, then lifted up her glass. "A
gift from a minor Lord last time he visited. He was appreciative of
the attention he received during his stay. I couldn't refuse such a
nice vintage."

"I'm sure you'd _have_ to take it," she smiled. "And how did our Lord
Briyvin like you receiving gifts?"

Hiding a little smile behind her glass, Yriadha took a sip. "Bryvin
doesn't always know everything, Sophque, and I don't have to tell him
about every gift I recieve." She put aside her glass. "It was a
private thing. Besides, with Lady Asaile carrying his child, he has
more important things on his mind, I'm sure." She turned to examine
her friend. "How is your tailor? I've not heard you speak of him
lately. "

Sophque shook her head. "I'm not really sure," she said. "He seems to
have lost interest. I haven't seen him in some time. Perhaps he has
moved on." It stung to say the least. She'd really liked Devren and
yet there must have been no real true spark between them.

"Then he's not worthy of you." Yriadha replied firmly, tapping her
finger against the rim of her glass. "If Wirnan were not besotted with
the children's foster mother, I'd suggest him, but..." She shrugged.
"Pity, really, but to each their own I suppose. Brina thought to
match him to me. I redirected him. "

"I'm sure you did," she chuckled. "He is a nice man though. A bit shy
don't you think?"

"He's certainly... nice, yes." Her tone indicated that the man's
'nice' quality wasn't something that particularly attracted her. "But
knowledgeable in his duties. I think he'd rather keep to himself."
She didn't provide any any further information that she head about
him. "Tell me, is there anyone else that's caught your eye?"

"Not that I would seriously consider," she shook her head. "I really
really don't want a life with a sailor again. Inokin was enough of a
wherry brain to last a lifetime." She was rarely that straightforward
with anyone. "I miss the companionship," she shrugged. "But it's not
worth making the wrong choice. Morin provided enough for us to be
comfortable without having to marry unless I want to."

"Which is certainly a blessing," she agreed. "But you're right as
well. Sometimes the lack of companionship is the worst part." Yriadha
frowned. "Or the warmth in the bed on cool or lonely nights. Or
simply the presence of someone in the room with you."

"Yes," she smiled. "But I do miss things like this," she lifted her
glass. "Morin had such good taste in wine." She drained the last
mouthful and set the glass down. "How is Lady Asaille doing? She
hasn't called for me in some time."

There was a long silence as Yriadha slowly swirled the remaining wine
in her glass. "Not well. I don't know if she'll be calling on you
anytime soon for herself, though you might be tasked with clothing for
Lord Bryvin's newest daughter. Lady Asaile hasn't recovered from the
birthing just yet. She's still sickly and weak."

Sophque leaned forward. "Is she going to be alright?"

Yriadha took her time in answering, her lower lip pursed as she
considered the question. Should she tell what she thought, or what
Riadem hoped. "Riadem thinks she'll heal over time." She felt a surge
of worry for her son, and worry for Bryvin. He seemed to truly like
his wife, a thought that sent a frisson of jealousy through her middle
that was promptly extinguished. Bryvin needed a young wife to provide
him with heirs; she knew her own place.

Sophque saw the emotions cross her friends face. She was normally so
controlled that there must be a real storm brewing inside. "Do you
believe him?"

The Headwoman glanced at Sophque then turned back to the fire, taking
a long sip of her wine. "He's the Healer, not I. But..." Her face
smoothed, "I think I should speak to my son about perhaps going to my
family's land for a time. They need a good Healer there."

Sophque sat back herself. Then nodding took a sip from her own glass.
Bryvin was far more mecurial that Morin had ever been. He'd been
focused, distant and preoccupied but Sophque had never felt the kind
of danger from him than some of the things she'd heard about their
current Lord. "That would be wise, I think," she said softly into the
silence.

Yriadha spoke just as softly, her words revealing the full trust she
had in her only friend. "I don't know if I could choose between them.
I don't want to be forced to make that choice." She rubbed her thumb
against the stem of her glass. "I'll always be Riadem's mother, but
my other status..." Her voice grew even softer, "I'm easy to
replace."

"You shouldn't have to choose," Sophque agreed. "But are you so
easily replaced," she asked. "He hasn't left your bed yet Yriadha. Nor
does he talk to anyone about his thoughts the way he does you and his
cousin. I do wish Wirnan weren't so enamored of the children's Foster
Mother," she smiled.

"He would be a good match for you, I think. He seems to be a steady
man. He's had his troubles, apparently, but I think he is, at heart a
good man. That's what I would want for you." Yriadha turned to look at
Sophque, for a moment, her face unguarded. "Did Morin know of your
feelings for him? Did you tell him?"

"Thanks," Sophque took another sip as she stared into the flames
whiched seemeed to blur until she blinked several times. "I told him,"
she said. "He knew. He trusted me with some things. But I don't think
I was as important to him as you are to Lord Bryvin. You should
remember that."

Both brows rose as Yriadha looked at her. "I think you were more
important to him than you realize. If you weren't, he wouldn't have
left you provided for, you know. I think he loved you in his way."
She wondered if she was truly as important to Bryvin as Sophque
believed. She would like to think she was, but she couldn't make that
assumption and she certainly couldn't believe that Bryvin felt as
deeply for her as she did him. She could admit her own feelings to
herself, but to him? Her own eyes gathered with moisture, before she
hurriedly blinked them back. "What a pair we are, hm? At least you
could tell him."

"Aye," she nodded again. "I did that. Have you?" Sophque turned to her
friend. "Told him, I mean."

"No." The answer was short and to the point. "I haven't. Bryvin isn't
Morin. What good would it do? He holds all the advantages already,
Sophque. Why would I give him another? I'm..." She took a sip of her
wine and quickly changed what she was going to say. "I've never said
those words to any man."

"What do you think love is a power game Yriadha? I can understand that
would be the way you see it given your experience but when you really
love a man..." she felt helpless trying to put her thoughts into words.
"When you really love, you surrender or you don't gain the full
experience. I never loved my husband and he still had power over
me no matter how I fetl about it. So I understand. But if you really do
love him... tell him."

That brought a wan smile to Yriadha's face, twisting her lips . "What
haven't I already surrendered to him, Sophque? I do what he asks of
me, I give him what he wants of me." She couldn't say that she did so
without question, for many times, she did argue or struggle against
his will. Even when she did so, however, he usually got what he
wanted. "I don't think anything would change except I would
feel...weak. Facing Bryvin with that weakness...I don't know if I
could."

Sophque just smiled and shook her head. "Yriadha you're so literal
minded. Emotions are not things or acts. Things can be taken, acts can
be forced but love can only ever be given, never taken. They are _not_
the same thing. Just remember I have been in exactly the same position
you are in right now. I _know_!" But she understood her friend better
than anyone, even her own children. "You know I love you." She reached out
and squeezed Yriadha's fingers.

The gentle return squeeze was followed by a more genuine smile. "I
know. You're the only person who I know doesn't have some other motive
to say that to me." She sighed. "I'll think about telling him.
That's all I can promise." Her lips quirked. "You know I'm not the
surrendering kind."

Sophque smiled again and sat back. "Oh I know how you are," she said.
Then she sighed heavily. "I miss Morin," her smile turned a bit sad.

Last updated on the February 10th 2022

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