Every Precious Thing
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Aaron, Heather
Date Posted: 11th February 2022
Characters: Suynie, Wirnan
Description: Wirnan delivers some unhappy news to the woman he has been courting.
Location: Sunstone Seahold
Date: month 12, day 24 of Turn 10
Wirnan's steps had been heavy of late. One could easily assume it was because of Lady Asaile's difficult labor, but there was something more personal behind it. Knowing then what he knew about what he had to do, he had an obligation to tell Suynie as well. It would be unkind to string her along any further for his own heart's benefit.
"Suynie?" he called softly. Now that the children were all abed and asleep, Wirnan could at least know he was not distracting her from any duty. "I have some unhappy news to share with you, if you have a moment?"
When his voice quavered, he hoped she did not assume anything worse than the truth.
Suynie, whose face had immediately wreathed in a smile at the initial appearance of the man who had become very dear to her heart, felt a little trickle of apprehension slip down her spine.
"Unhappy news?" she repeated softly.
"I... There's no easy way to get through this, so... I'm just going to speak plainly," said Wirnan. His heart sank all the further at Suynie's beautiful smile, as he knew he was about to erase it.
"After Lady Asaile's troubles in giving birth, I went to Lord Bryvin to offer him my support. While I spoke to him, I told him that I..."
Wirnan coughed and swallowed a lump in his throat.
"I told him that I planned to ask you to marry me. I should have expected what he said, but I had let myself forget what it means to share a lord's blood. Lord Bryvin asked me to instead marry someone of high blood or status, to help him carry on our grandfather's lineage."
"I have grown to love you very much, Suynie. But owing Bryvin so much as I do, I can't refuse him."
The foster mother's smile remained frozen in place, but it had a brittle, fragile quality. Staring at Wirnan, who had always been so tender and sweet with her, she almost could not believe what she was hearing. Someone of "high blood or status"?
"I see." Obviously a foster mother, someone like her, without any blood or status would not be considered a good enough match for a Hold's steward.
"I have no right to ask you to forgive me," said Wirnan, "for what I've done to you." He wanted very much to hold her, to comfort her, but what comfort would his embrace be to her now?
"I do love you," he said. "And..." He sighed and rubbed his face with his palm. "I am about to askâ€" to beg something of you that I do not deserve. It is born of my love, yet if I were as strong a man as _you_ deserve, I would never dare to ask. The very... implication that you would deign to consider it is an insult to your honor, and _that_ I will ask you to forgive, if you can, knowing that if I loved you any less, I would not have asked."
So much for speaking plainly.
"You deserve a husband. A man everyone can see you dance with. But if you would have me anyway, despite everything, even though I don't deserve you, I would ask the woman who will be my wife to allow me to be your lover."
A harsh exhale of astonishment burst from her mouth. He was asking her to be his... his _mistress_?
"I am not good enough for your public love, just your private love?" She slowly shook her head, a stricken look on her face. It felt like her heart was splintering into a thousand pieces. "I cannot believe you think I would disgrace myself in such a manner. You might not care what your 'wife' will think of you, but I have a son to raise."
Suynie drew herself up, squaring her shoulders. "There is no need to apologize, Steward. I clearly had you mistaken for a different man, entirely."
"Please," Wirnan's voice cracked. He wished he had never allowed himself to hope that she might agree to such a thing when he had known all along how she would take such a request. Though he managed not to sob, he could not stop a tear from overflowing from each eye.
"If you were not good enough, I never would have told Bryvin I wanted you to be my wife. I never would have danced with you at the wedding."
"I never should have let myself ask such a thing of you â€" I just... I thought if there were any hope that I might not have to lose you, it would be worth enduring your scorn to seek it. And... and if we cannot be wed, then perhaps it might be easier for you to hate me." And it would be far better for her than if he had let Yriadha send her away so he could avoid this conversation.
"I was right about one thing. You deserve someone so, so much better than me."
He braced himself for her to slap him.
No slap came.
"You're correct, Steward, but I have no hope of finding a decent man at Sunstone. I'll submit my notice to the Headwoman and be quite out of your way."
"No," Wirnan whispered, more unbidden tears falling. If he had only listened to Yriadha the first time. Why did he not listen. Now she would be gone, _and_ he had broken her heart. There was never going to be anything he could do to repair what he had just destroyed.
What he would not give to go back in time just ten minutes.
"Please, don't go," he begged, knowing everything was already lost.
"How can you even say that to me?" she ground out between clenched teeth.
"I can because I have so foolishly ruined every precious thing you have brought to my life," said Wirnan, "and I can't bear to see you throw away everything else because of me. You are good for the children, and they love you."
"Apparently, foster mothers aren't worth very much, so I'm sure a replacement can be found." Suynie crossed her arms over her chest. "If there's nothing else, Steward, I have other things to attend to."
Wirnan winced. There was nothing he could say, nothing that would make this better.
"No. Nothing else."
Last updated on the July 15th 2022