Anchors

Writers: Halyonix
Date Posted: 4th February 2024

Characters: Vaile
Description: Processing grief on a morning sweepride.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 13, day 4 of Turn 11

Notes:
~~~~~~~~~~

Liranth's wings kept a steady rhythm as the green dragon plowed through the miles on their morning sweep. Not a cloud in the sky. A brilliant, lovely blue that promised summer eventually, even though Vaile was bundled up against the cold. She sat primly perched on her mount, her gaze sweeping side to side almost to the same rhythm, but her mind was miles away and Turns back.

"We should fly out to the point, see if we can spot the dolphins," she heard M'vel say in her memory. "Ioreth spotted some good schools out there last time. We could let the dragons give catching them a go." He smiled roguishly, kissed her bare shoulder. How many Turns together now and he could still cause that spark within her? She thought it would go away with motherhood but M'vel was irresistible. They could collect Miravaile from the creche maybe, head out, spend the day on the beach--

}: You're thinking about him again. :{

The memory shattered. A thousand dreams that would never come to fruition died in the silence after Liranth spoke.

Empathy and love filled the broken gap. But it never completely healed the jagged wound that was there.

Just two Turns out, there was still that pain, though it had dulled now to a low ache almost perceptible on her left ribs. Unconsciously, Vaile's hand went to that area. Then she sighed softly. **I know,** she said to Liranth.

There was a long, thoughtful pause before, }: You aren't thinking about him as much lately though. :{ Whether that was a positive or negative thing, it was hard to tell. Yes, the grief no longer blindsided her while she was doing menial tasks. But the memories were also not as clear as they once were. Time was beginning to dull things -- the sound of his laugh, the feel of his hands, the scent of his skin, the cadence of his voice. Vaile was aware of this and powerless to stop it.

And yet, sometimes she saw glimpses of him in their children. In the way Miravaile cocked her head. In the way Moraile smiled. His memory a blessing, his absence a curse. Sometimes the memory was just as bad.

}: I'm sorry, :{ Liranth apologized.

**Don't, heart. It's not your fault that my mind wanders back still. And you're doing your best to remind me that I need to focus on the present, on what I have.**

}: You still feel as though something is lacking. :{

Would it always feel that way?

Vaile let out another soft sigh. She straightened her back, stretched, and looked forward. **I'm in no rush to fix any of it,** she said. She'd always been independent. Able to do it on her own. It had taken M'vel Turns to win her heart. On her more fatalistic days, she believed that the price of the dream of building a life with him came at the cost of his life too soon. Wasn't that how the old Harper tales went? What made a better story than true love and broken hearts?

}: You don't believe that, :{ Liranth said. }: I know you. You're hurting but you wouldn't change a moment of your life. You would say yes to him again. :{

The dragon was right. Which hurt in a different sort of way. What would happen if Vaile found someone else? Liranth's flights hadn't introduced her to someone who could replace M'vel but was she honestly looking? Did she want to?

The answer was no. But even then, that wasn't entirely the case. She just...wasn't ready. Yet.

And that was fine, she told herself quietly. There was no rush. But it also did her no good to dwell on the past. No matter how many times she went over what happened, how to change it, if she could have changed it, it never made a difference. Returning to those awful days did nothing to mend the wound on her heart.

}: Time, by itself, heals nothing, :{ Liranth said very quietly. Sagely. Vaile almost smiled at the wisdom in her dragon's tone.

**You should have been a queen,** she teased, lightly cuffing the nearest neck ridge.

To that, Liranth snorted. }: I am who I am. I do not need to be a queen to know things. :{ And then, after another thoughtful pause, added, }: I love you. We will navigate this together. As we always have. :{

Vaile smiled softly. **Of course, heart. Always.**

She exhaled softly, composed herself, and, returning her gaze to observing the area, let her mind wander toward the few, anchoring things of the future that she looked forward to.

Last updated on the February 7th 2024

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