Late Night Thoughts

Writers: Francesca
Date Posted: 12th March 2024

Characters: Kamalia
Description: Kamalia does some thinking in the middle of the night.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 13, day 1 of Turn 11

Kamalia thanked the journeyman dragonhealer who reapplied Alaudath's
numbweed, then settled back down on the improvised bed she had made
next to the green. They had not slept together since they were
weyrlings, but Kamalia could not bear being even in the next room
over. Logically, she knew they would be ok. However, she still felt an
overwhelming need to stay as close as she could.

Over a day since getting Scored, Alaudath seemed to be doing well. She
had been sleeping a lot, but her pain was under control and she did
not seem to be concerned about her injury or worried about the future.
She had only half woken up when the dragonhealer had stopped by, then
quickly fallen back to sleep.

Kamalia sat in silence for a few minutes, leaning against Alaudath's
side. Their first night in the temporary weyr had been a night of
fitful sleep; a sleep frequently interrupted by dragonhealers,
Alaudath's movements waking her up, and her own need to change
positions when she became too uncomfortable. She did not remember
having any dreams. In addition, she had been too tired to do much
reflecting and too worried about Alaudath to think much beyond making
sure her lifemate was comfortable and had everything she needed.

Late this second night, sleep was not coming. Kamalia tried to find a
somewhat comfortable position next to Alaudath and counted the
dragon's breaths in an attempt to drift to sleep. However, after
passing 150, she gave a small sigh of frustration and stood, making
her way into the next room and grabbing a bread roll left over from
the evening meal.

She sat on the bed, stretching her legs out and sighed again. She
wasn't sure if she should do some reading to pass the time or try once
again to fall asleep. She ate the roll, then drank some water and
placed the cup on the nightstand.

Unbidden, the moment they were Scored played out in her head. She
tried to push away the memory, but it wouldn't budge. She started
thinking about what they could have done differently. Should Alaudath
have not broken formation to flame Thread? But no, someone had to do
it, and she was in the best position. Besides, it had been going
/between/ to get back into formation that had been the problem.

"I should have seen it," she whispered to herself. She could have
looked before they had jumped /between/. Or at least reacted more
quickly so they could have gone back /between/ before the Thread had
done any damage. When they were cleared to fight Thread, she would
need to be more observant; make sure something like this never
happened again.

Of course, it could have been so much worse. If the clump of Thread
had been larger, it could have done more damage to Alaudath. Or, a
gust of wind could have led to the Thread landing on the green's wing.
They could have been grounded for much longer, transferred permanently
to the Queen's Wing, or even have been forced to retire.

The thought of her lifemate in horrible pain, permanently disfigured,
made Kamalia go back to where Alaudath was sleeping to be with her
again. She sat down near the green's left hind leg, pressed against
her. Now that she had opened up her mind to the horrible possibilities
of what could have happened, she couldn't stop. She kept jumping
between reliving what had happened to going through every variation
she could think of that left Alaudath in worse shape. She tried to
pull her thoughts somewhere, anywhere else, but the floodgates had
opened and refused to close.

Kamalia suddenly realized she was crying, and that realization made
what had been silent tears turn into racking sobs. They had come so
close to disaster, and she just had a fairly shallow Score on her calf
that might leave a small scar. The fear and guilt felt like a heavy
weight pressing down on her chest and she started to feel like she
could not get enough air.

}:We are ok.:{ Alaudath's voice pushed through the maelstrom in her mind.

Kamalia could not stop her crying, or form a coherent sentence in
response. Her sense of guilt increased. Alaudath needed her sleep, and
now she was waking the green up by being unable to calm herself down.

}:We are ok:{ the green repeated.

All Kamalia could do was let Alaudath feel the boundless love she felt
for her; the absolute conviction that they were together until the
end. A quiet part of her also promised herself that, if anything were
to happen, they would go /between/ together. Nothing could separate
them.

Alaudath shifted so her head was right in front of Kamalia's and the
greenrider hugged her tightly. It was in that awkward position that
dragon and rider fell back to sleep, ready to take on whatever the
future held for them together.

Last updated on the March 14th 2024

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Late Night Thoughts