What You Cannot Prepare For
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Halyonix
Date Posted: 21st June 2024
Characters: I'serin
Description: Thoughts about leadership and recent events
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 8, day 7 of Turn 11
Notes: Mentioned: K'reyel, R'enh
Notes:
~~~~~~~
It was all a reminder of how quickly it could change.
It was late evening at the Weyr and I'serin was in the Records Room, his fingers tracing lines and notations along the hides. Maps were a very precious, important, and coveted thing on Pern. Most large Holds had some sort of one, usually somewhat outdated in some form, that was kept only with leadership and only brought out to confirm a boundary or resource. Weyrs, on the other hand, had a great many of them, actively traded and updated as dragons flew the territory protected by that Weyr.
I'serin was, of course, fascinated with them, as he was with most things intellectual. And that evening, he was very carefully reviewing multiple ones at once, all of them spread across the large table in the center of the room. Some were old, established, with tattered edges and worn spots. Some were newer, with Hold names he recognized and had visited on occasion. With one finger, he would trace the differences between old and new, as though plotting what would happen in the future with those maps -- where Holders would next settle, where the herds would pasture next.
There was, of course, a map of Threadfall that he occasionally would glance at, then let his gaze return to the other maps, as though he was not ready to review that particular map just yet.
It should not have happened as it did. And yet it had.
To see K'reyel and Erdenth tumble from the sky in the midst of battle. To see that bronze wing mangled and torn...
To imagine, horrifically, briefly, that the same could happen to Aluneth.
}: But it did not and you should not dwell on what did _not_ happen. We must move forward with what _did_ happen, :{ Aluneth said sharply. I'serin's eyes flickered in a new direction, his physical eyesight blocked by layers of rock and space but his mental eyesight able to pinpoint exactly where his dragon was settled, catching the final rays of the sun.
If Erdenth ever flew again, it would be a miracle.
}: You are in a morose mood tonight, :{ Aluneth remarked. }: And why are you staring at maps? You do realize that is the work of Wingleaders and Weyrleaders. :{
**I am aware.**
}: Of which you -- we -- are neither. :{
**How astute of you to notice.** I'serin's gaze returned to the maps. It was not his open ambition to rise to either of those positions but he understood that bronzeriders were chosen to lead and did not have the luxury of running away from it. He did not envy R'enh over the last few days, suddenly thrust into the position of leading an entire Weyr without warning. **It takes but one flight, one death, to change all of that. I want to be prepared.**
Aluneth grunted. And fell quiet for a long while. Long enough that I'serin thought that he had exited the conversation. Eventually, he said, }: There comes a point where preparation becomes a drive to control a thing that you cannot control. You worry over this thing, this possibility. The things that _might_ happen. Like the possibility of me injured as Erdenth was. This does not prepare you well. You cannot control that. Do not trade agility for anxiety. :{
I'serin's fingers stopped abruptly in their tracing. His eyes were still looking at the maps but his mind was far, far away, analyzing what Aluneth had just said, reviewing all of his actions over the last few days, finding a pattern, finding that worry threading its anxious way into moments that I'serin hadn't noticed before.
He straightened. His eyes flickered to that Threadfall map and found the number that corresponded to the Fall that had happened two days ago. As if he needed to. But he stared at it, letting Aluneth's words settle within his bones.
I'serin would readily admit that Aluneth was correct. But how to focus his mind away from such patterns of thinking was proving harder than he had imagined. He thought back to when River Bluff Weyr was destroyed, to the loss there, the nightmares, the guilt, the memories that seemed to follow him. Things that had happened that he could not shake from his mind. Was this just an extension of that? A mind that fixated on events, on patterns, in an attempt to understand them, parse them... to control them?
He looked down at the maps again. He would never be prepared enough. He could either strive mightily to attain a goal that was unreachable or...
**Bronzes are not known for their agility,** he pointed out to Aluneth. He waited a moment, feeling his dragon puzzle over the layers of that statement. He smirked, the left side of his mouth tugging as he felt Aluneth reach the same conclusion.
Finally, Aluneth huffed, relenting, }: Well. Perhaps you and I could stand to learn a few things from the greens yet. :{
Last updated on the June 24th 2024