Everything You Ever
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Aaron
Date Posted: 22nd December 2024
Characters: Z'renh
Description: A bronzerider got everything he ever wanted. And he feels fine.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 3, day 22 of Turn 12
The gentle rhythm of deep heavy breathing filled the little space with its freshly-clothed and clean-smelling, and completely strange and unfamiliar bed, a pillow his head had never touched, blankets his body had never warmed. He wished he were in his familiar bed in the Candidate barracks. He wished he were back at Dolphin Cove. Or even Vista Point. Somewhere. Anywhere but this dismal, cold, and alien wallow.
The voice in his head had finally gone silent.
How dearly he wished for it to come back. And Faranth, how thankful he was that it had released him at last.
He held his hand up and flexed his fingers as he stared at it. This was his hand. _His_. He decided when it moved. When it... struck. He rubbed his throat and wondered how big the bruise would be.
What had he done wrong? What was wrong with _him_? Everyone had always said how much will power it took to master a gold or a bronze. But. How could this...
beautiful. Masterful. _Mighty_ creature...
have wanted him, if he was too weak to even remember who he was while he was awake?
How could he ever admit what had truly happened? To his teachers? His classmates? His _father_? What a catastrophic shame it would be for R'enh's colleagues to learn that a bronze had chosen his son only because he knew that Z'renh was so devoid of mental fortitude that Adamanth could simply _wish_, and Z'renh would have no power but to crumble beneath the weight of his desire?
He should have been terrified. And he was. What else would Adamanth make him do? Who would ever believe him? Who would ever _care_? He was responsible, regardless. It was no excuse. He could already hear bronzerider after bronzerider lecturing him.
"All you have to do is just..."
"You just have to..."
"Why don't you just..."
As though it were easy. As though it were possible.
"I did it. Why can't you?"
Why? Because he was worse than a kid who always said he would Impress bronze and then got a green. Or never impressed at all. He was a kid who had gotten everything he had ever wanted. And found out he was not and never was good enough to deserve any of it. How could he have ever believed his own bravado? Especially after he had moved, thinking he would easily reclaim the brave and dashing persona he had created when the other children were too young to know better, only to find he was never going to have that again.
But he could not just... give Adamanth to someone who could handle him. Why had he chosen him? What had he seen in him? The poor bronze was stuck with him now. Forever.
Well. Not forever. Without a rider who could control him, Adamanth would not live through training. And so neither would his rider. They were already doomed. He was already dead. And he had killed a perfect bronze dragon, stronger than any ever to have hatched on Pern, all because he was too weak.
He wondered whether they would live long enough for Adamanth to realize what a colossal mistake he had made. Whether he would have time to make plain to Z'renh just how utterly and completely disappointed he was in his calamitous failure of a rider.
Z'renh had not even realized he was crying until he rolled over to try to go to sleep and found his pillow was wet with his tears. He buried his face in his pillow to muffle the sound of any sobs that managed to get away from him, until sleep eventually claimed him.
Last updated on the January 1st 2025