Resentment

Writers: Halyonix
Date Posted: 14th January 2025

Characters: Nirian, N'rada
Description: Nirian's brother comes to visit but it doesn't go well.
Location: Vintner Hall
Date: month 4, day 14 of Turn 12
Notes: Mentioned Galgaith, Kapera (not by name)

There were a lot of events in Nirian’s schedule that happened like clockwork. There were her day-to-day responsibilities, getting everything in order for the household before the tavern opened in the evening. Then, there were things that happened on sevenday or monthly cycles, regularly enough for her to mark like the phases of the moons.

One of those things was happening today. Her dragonrider brother was coming to visit like he did every two sevendays. In recent Turns, this day was a mixed-feeling day, as some dynamic between them had begun to shift ever since he had become a dragonrider, but it still something that broke up the monotony of her days. Plus, sometimes N’rada brought her something neat from the Weyr.

“Hi Diluth!” she greeted brightly as she came out. Her brother was already sliding down the dragon’s flank, a satchel over one shoulder. “What did you bring me?” Nirian asked, her eyes lighting up.

“A little of this, a little of that,” N’rada answered. “Nothing wild, just a few things I picked up that I know you can’t get out here easily.” He opened his arm to side-hug his sister tightly. “New perfume?” he asked with a little sniff.

“New oils in the sweetsand that I use in my hair,” she answered, happy that he had noticed. Arms linked, they began to walk inside. “Okay, tell me all the tea. What’s been happening at the Weyr?”

N’rada exhaled. “Well, a lot.” By the time they had walked to their family’s quarters, sat down, and warmed up a cup of klah, Nirian learned that there had been a gold egg at Dragonsfall, which hatched into a dragon named Galgaith (what a mouthful!), that Barrier Lake’s Weyrwoman had been assaulted and her dragon was now dead (how did that happen?!), and a small book on the latest gossip from around the rest of the dragonriding world. “How are things here?” N’rada asked at the end of it all.

Nirian lifted one shoulder in a nonchalant shrug. “Same ol’, same ol’. Still manning the bar. Still…you know.”

N’rada’s gaze shifted to a closed door nearby. “...yeah.”

“It’s good that you came by today. I was beginning to think that you were going to forget. You nearly did last time.”

“Yeah, that was…” N’rada rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, blushing. “I got stuck in a green’s flight.”

Nirian burst out laughing. “Did you win?”

“We’re not talking about that.”

Nirian laughed and clapped her hands gleefully. “Well at least one of us is getting laid. You’ll have to tell me about her! Or is it a him? It’s a him, isn’t it? You’re blushing even more! It’s a him!”

“Niri…” N’rada said with weak warning.

But Nirian was taking too much delight in this. “I knew it! Okay, well tell me about him!”

N’rada cleared his throat. “No. That’s um…complicated. And I’m not here for long.”

It was like someone had dropped an icy stone in Nirian’s stomach. “You’re not…here for long? But today’s your day to be with…us. You always sit with him for--”

“Not today. I’m just here to drop some things off and-”

“But I told him you were coming!”

“You _told_ him? Nirian, _why_?!”

“Because you always come on today! Because you always sit with him. He likes that! He looks forward to it!” And it gave Nirian some precious time away. “You can’t just…just…drop in and then _leave_.

“I have my duties. You--”

“You have duties here too! I see him day in, day out, while you’re flying around on Diluth without a care.”

“Excuse you, Threadfall _is_ a care,” N’rada shot back.

“For what, a few hours every few days? And let’s be honest, your dragon does most of the work, right? I’m here, every day, taking care of him. I deserve a break from that, don’t you think?” It didn’t matter that, objectively, fighting Thread was a far more dangerous matter than being a caregiver, but Nirian didn’t care. She was upset, resentful. Her words aimed to hurt, to guilt, to remind N’rada of what he had left behind for Nirian to handle.

Her brother gripped her upper arm. His voice dropped low. “You know I can’t stand seeing him like that.”

Nirian glared at him. “I don’t care. Man up.” She was furious that even though this was his scheduled day to see family, N’rada intended to flee as soon as possible. She wrestled her arm free. “Too bad. He’s expecting you. Good sharding luck with that.” She spun around and stormed off. If N’rada decided not to step in that room, she’d handle that later. But in that moment, she was going somewhere else. Anywhere else.

Diluth made a crooning as she strode past him waiting in the courtyard. “Shut up,” she snapped at the dragon without pause. If she could have thrown something at the dragon, she might have, even though it was taboo. If N’rada hadn’t gotten Searched, if he hadn’t gone to the Weyr, then Nirian wouldn’t be _stuck_ here, handling…

Unable to vent her frustration at Diluth, Nirian kept walking forward. Into the woods beyond the Hold. Towards a stream that had been her quiet spot for pretty much all of her life. Trees lined the banks, creating sitting places with their roots and shade with their branches. But the normally peaceful babbling did nothing to calm Nirian.

“This SUCKS!” she roared, slamming her fist into the nearest tree. Pain shot up her arm. She clenched her fist, looked at her now bloodied knuckles, then sat ungracefully on the quietly offered roots. “This sucks so much,” she said, as anger faded and frustrated tears welled up to fill the space. Why did _she_ have to watch everyone else get to live out their dreams while she was stucking refilling drinks and taking care of…

“When’s it going to be my turn?” she sobbed to the unresponsive trees.

Last updated on the January 25th 2025

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Resentment