Those Scars You Left Me With Won't Go Away

Writers: Halyonix
Date Posted: 12th February 2025

Characters: I'serin, Isoria
Description: I'serin's mother comes to chat
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 4, day 22 of Turn 12
Notes: Mentioned K'mai, Chioneth; continuing the Beartooth - Messed Up musical theme

I'serin

“If you have come to speak to me about my latest conversation with Father-” I’serin said warningly as his mother, Isoria, stepped into his office with _that look_ on her face.

His mother assumed what I’serin had always considered her “Healer stance”: her back straight, her posture casual but composed, her head tilted slightly to the side as she listened. It was a stance that was deceptive. It looked like she was there to ask how to be helpful but in reality, she already had decided what was happening. He had seen her use it on obstinant patients plenty of times. A small, amused smile curved her lips before a soft laugh came out. “As you wish,” she chuckled. “I wasn’t here _entirely_ because of that but--”

“If you must,” I’serin sighed with resignation. It was better to get through the unpleasant part of the conversation first when it came to his parents’ maneuvering.

“Your father has always had high hopes for you, I ‘serin, you know that,” his mother said calmly. Which sounded almost supportive, almost justifiable with her tone, but I’serin had also learned to hear the excuses in that tone. When A’len had been unable to control a younger I’serin (however one wanted to interpret that statement), he had practically foisted him on his mother to be dealt with. “Don’t you let him needle you so. _Aluneth_ caught Chioneth, not Tirenth. He’s had plenty of flights -- and clutches, mind you -- to not be so sour. He wants you to do a good job, which I know you will. Which you are, given everything thrown at you.”

I’serin did not agree with her praise but he did not contradict it. He rubbed his brow while he placatingly said, “I know, Mother. He has made himself quite available to me and his insight is invaluable.” He could not fault her for loving him, even though it colored her view of him. Her experience of A’len was different than his and always would be. While she would support him spreading his own wings, that support only went so far. She would not go against her weyrmate’s wishes.

It pained I’serin to realize, yet again, that his parents had created an image of him in their minds that did not match the image of him in reality, and how adrift that left him. He would always be chasing the approval they withheld because he was not willing to become someone he was not.

}: I love you, :{ Aluneth whispered, his eternal devotion encompassing I’serin’s wounded heart.

**I know,** I’serin thought back, leaning heavily into that love. Aluneth had always understood the balance that his rider was trying to strike, keeping multiple parties in harmony while also trying to be happy himself. Aluneth had always been supportive of his rider, unconditionally.

“Kicking him out of your office was quite the move though,” Isoria said. Without asking for permission, she sat daintily across from her son. Her eyes dropped as she smoothed an imaginary wrinkle from her skirt. “Not the move that I would have _suggested_ but you're the Weyrleader, that's the decisions you can make.” There was something...condescending? Disapproving? About her tone. As if to add levity to her assessment, she chuckled as she added, “I don’t believe someone’s called him a weyrling as an insult in quite a while.”

Somehow, her attempt did not ease his heart. If anything, it served to remind I’serin that his father _also_ had a long memory and that the words spoken in anger would probably come back to bite him somehow later. With a repressed sigh, I’serin said, “Despite how valuable his insight is, he could stand to learn some common courtesies. Like knocking before entering.”

Isoria let out another soft laugh. “Oh, you know him. Some things just won’t change, especially as you get older. You’ll understand that one day too. We humans just get set in our ways.”

}: Hidebound, :{ Aluneth remarked sourly. I’serin mentally agreed. That lack of mental flexibility was a trait usually attributed to Holders, not dragonriders.

“I suppose I will,” I’serin deflected. “Yet another item to add to my list of learning.”

Isoria tutted. “Oh, don’t be so dour, I’serin. You’re doing a wonderful job. We’re both very proud of you.”

Then why did it feel like they were _not_ proud of him? Why did it feel like their words never matched their actions? And why was it, if I’serin pressed them on the matter, they argued that he was being overly sensitive and called for him to drop it?

The relationship between him and his parents was a tangled knot that never seemed to come undone.

“You said there was another reason for coming to see me?” he prompted her, deciding that it would not be worth his time and emotions to move down the thorny path again, while expecting different results.

Isoria smiled maternally. “I came to make sure that you had eaten lunch today. Your father said that your friend -- K’mai is it? --, he was here making sure you had eaten, and I thought that that was a wonderful idea. I had an hour to spare so I thought that I would come make sure.”

He could politely decline, come up with a reason otherwise, but he already knew the outcome to that: his mother would be insulted that he had spurned her attempts to take care of him and that would probably be another point of contention in a later conversation. So, instead, he said, “Lunch would be welcomed.”

His mother beamed and clapped her hands daintily. “Wonderful! You finish up what you’re working -- I know you’re busy -- and I’ll be back in a moment.” She left his office on her mission. I’serin stared at the opened door, conflicting emotions of guilt, resentment, resigned acceptance, and forlorn yearning all gathering like a morass within him.

Food would be about the only thing he would enjoy over the next hour.

Last updated on the February 18th 2025

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Those Scars You Left Me With Won't Go Away