To Move Forward

Writers: Devin, Halyonix
Date Posted: 23rd May 2025
Series: Bronze and Blue Entwined

Characters: K'mai, I'serin
Description: I'serin brings K'mai dinner in the infirmary and tells him what happened the night before.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 6, day 18 of Turn 12
Notes: Mentioned: A'len, Saibra, R'enh, E'tariax

K'mai

I'serin

Notes:
~*~

His duties and explanations had taken him all day. By the time I'serin
slipped into the Infirmary, a drudge following behind him with the
trays he could not balance with an injured hand, it was nearing dusk.
"I am late," he said by way of apology to K'mai, though he had not
told the bluerider he was coming at all. With his uninjured hand, he
motioned for the drudge to set the food down and then closed the
curtain after they had left.

K'mai's face lit as soon as he saw the bronzerider. "I'serin! You
brought me dinner." Then he saw the bandage. Concern flooded through
him and he tried to sit up straighter, wincing at the pain that
caused. "What happened to your hand?"

I'serin did not answer that question immediately. Instead, he busied
himself with making sure there was food in front on K'mai because
surely this would be a long story in telling. And where should he
start with answering that? "I...was angry," he finally admitted as he
sat down to his own food.

"Angry? You don't get angry." K'mai frowned.

"I..." I'serin started to say. He paused, set down his fork, looked at
his food. "I was upset enough about...everything and something..." No,
no evading, he told himself. "My father sought to fight with me. I was
not in the mood."

"To the Red Star with that asshole," K'mai growled,
uncharacteristically angry himself.

For approximately two heartbeats, I'serin considered how satisfying
tossing his father at the Red Star would feel.

The bronzerider stared at his food for a very, very long time. "Eat,"
he commanded K'mai softly, though the same command could be applied to
him. "Please." He inhaled slowly, trying to find any sort of grounded
center within himself. The last few days had been nothing but a
feeling being out of control and strangely...in control of something
else.

"He sought to fight me about you," I'serin said slowly, as though
piecing together a tapestry of thoughts and emotions within his mind.
"He..." Unconsciously, I'serin started to clench his damaged hand and
then winced. He closed his eyes. "I do not care if he knows. Or finds
out. I will not be a coward and fail you again," he said with quiet
determination.

I'serin opened his eyes and looked at K'mai. "I told Saibra."

"Oh." K'mai blinked at him. He'd actually told someone? "Really?" He
set his fork down. Eating with his left hand was . . . not easy.

Nodding, I'serin went on to explain what had happened. "Aluneth and
Chioneth are mates but when I became Weyrleader, I informed Saibra
that she should not worry about me coming between her and R'enh. I
suppose she assumed I was being honorable and did not guess the real
reason. When I...lost my temper...Aluneth called Chioneth for help."
He looked down at his uneaten meal. "I...did not see a reason to hide
it from her any longer."

"Was she nice about it? If she was mean, I'll . . ." K'mai picked up
the utensil again. "Fork her."

It was a weak attempt at a joke but it brought the ghost of a smile to
I'serin's lips. "Please do not hurt our Weyrwoman over me," he said
gently. "She...understood. In truth, she had asked me about
our...friendship...a few sevendays ago. I evaded the question but I
think..." He paused. "I think she may have begun to wonder." He
watched K'mai for a moment. His brow furrowed when he saw the
bluerider struggle with the fork. "K'mai," he said as he scooted
closer. He took the fork and made up a bite to offer. "Here."

K'mai's gaze went soft and warm. "Feeding me?" He took the bite and
waited until he swallowed before he said. "I like you taking care of
me. And I like taking care of you." K'mai took care of his friends,
but there did seem to be some . . . other element here. Maybe this was
part of romantic love, too.

I'serin's smile was wan as he prepared another bite for the bluerider
but he did not deny that it felt good to take care of K'mai. It
soothed something raw within him. He wordlessly fed the bluerider a
few bites, leaning into that feeling. "I am thinking of transferring
my father to another Weyr," he said after a while.

One of K'mai's eyebrows went up and after a moment of thought, he
said, "You should. He does nothing but belittle you and you're the
sharding _Weyrleader_. You deserve better than listening to his
constant criticism."

"It is a complicated matter," I'serin said as he offered another bite.
"It could be framed as me simply being a petulant or resentful. I have
been...considering how to approach it." And which poor Weyr would
receive him. There was also a possibility that I'serin would encounter
an epiphany during his sessions with E'tariax that would bring another
outcome. He doubted it. A'len would not change and I'serin grew tired
of bending.

"I do not wish to speak about him though," the bronzerider then said.
"He does not make me happy. Being...being here with you does."

"I'm glad you're here." K'mai traced a finger along the back of
I'serin's hand. He wanted to hold him. He wanted I'serin's head
resting against his chest while he stroked the bronzerider's hair.
"You still haven't said how you hurt yourself."

I'serin looked down at K'mai's hand. "I...shattered a glass in my
hand," he admitted, neatly dismissing all of the events that had
pushed him to that tumultuous point. Emotions that he still felt
brewing just under his ribs.

"Oh, I'serin," K'mai said gently, his heart aching. He could only
imagine how much strain the reserved, controlled bronzerider had been
under to make him do something like that. Then a flicker of amusement
lit his eyes. "Can I kiss it and make it better?"

I'serin's answer was to offer his bandaged hand with a weak smile.

K'mai grasped his wrist below the bandage, thumb brushing lightly over
the smooth skin of his inner arm. "You _are_ getting bolder," he said
in a warm, pleased voice. Bringing I'serin's hand up, K'mai pressed a
gentle kiss to his bandaged palm. To soothe the hurt. To soothe the
fear and the turmoil inside the bronzerider.

The bronzerider let out a ragged sigh. He closed his eyes, that torn
feeling within him settling fractionally. Swallowing hard, he
murmured, "You...challenge me. To be." He opened his eyes to let his
fingers drift along K'mai's jaw. "I...have spent every moment of my
adult life, hiding how I feel. The last few months have...upended me
in ways I had never imagined. I..." He let his hand fall, cradling it
back in his lap like he was holding a broken dream. "I do not think I
care to go back to that. Though, I will admit, the path forward scares
me just as much. I have made so many mistakes so far."

"My old Weyrlingmaster said mistakes are a chance to learn." K'mai
laid a hand on the bronzerider's arm. "I love you, I'serin, and I'll
walk that path with you. I'll do whatever I can to make things easier
for you." It was still such a new thing to say it, to mean it. "You
changed me, too."

I'serin stared at K'mai's hand on his arm. He let out another
shuddering breath, closed his eyes. Tears began to stream quietly.
After a moment, I'serin tugged K'mai's hand to rest on his chest. "You
offer me something that I have not felt since I Impressed Aluneth."

K'mai desperately wanted to wipe those tears away, but I'serin had a
hold of his good hand. "It's freely given," K'mai said softly, somehow
loving I'serin even more, his heart breaking for the bronzerider
having gone so long without love. "No demands, no expectations."

The bronzerider let out a watery huff of laughter. "Do not lie to me,
K'mai. You enjoy it when I command you," he quipped weakly. He moved
to rest his head against the hollow of K'mai's shoulder, rearranging
their hands so that his arm was draped comfortably across K'mai's
middle.

Contentment filled the bluerider. With a warm smile, he tilted his
head to lay it against I'serin's, ignoring the dull pounding in his
skull. I'serin giving this much to him when a healer could walk in at
any moment was proof enough that things had changed.

Last updated on the May 27th 2025

[Prev: To Reach for Him] Series: Bronze and Blue Entwined [Next: Switching Partners]

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

To Move Forward