Are we friends?

Writers: Eimi, Paula
Date Posted: 20th June 2006

Characters: Birigundi, Rigella
Description: Birigundi comes to see Rigella and they have a thorough talk.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 12, day 9 of Turn 3
Notes: Follows "Babling baby brother".

Birigundi

Birigundi felt seriously out of place as he stood in the waiting area, waiting for either Rigella to pass him by or a healer to help him find her. He still wasn't completely sure he should be there, but after the night in her weyr, she had kind of disappeared. Part of him wondered if she would be glad to see him, or if he would just make things worse. When it came to Rigella, he didn't know anything anymore.

Rigella came out from the Weyrhealer's office her arms filled with medical reports. They didn't let her treat patients in her current status, so she got to do lot of filing, inventorying and record-keeping. "Rigella!" Birigundi called get her attention.

"Birigundi, hi. What are you doing here? Getting more tea for your pregnant friend?" Rigella greeted and asked. She was trying to be like nothing had happened. But it still came out forced.

"Uh, no, actually," he said coming a little closer and lowering his voice so only she could hear him. "I talked to your brother. He kind of told me what happened. Are you all right?"

**Sharding babbling baby brothers!** "Umh, let's just say they don't trust me near sharp items and potentially fatal herbs," she said with bitter laugh. "Does that sound all right?" "Um, well, no," Birigundi conceded. "But really, you wanted to die?" he asked quietly.

"Can we talk somewhere else? I'm going to Records room with these, there shouldn't be much people there," Rigella asked after glance around her.
The infirmary was always a busy place. He nodded. It was probably better than discussing it where they could be overheard. "Sure, I'll follow you."

"What exactly did Naemor tell you?" Rigella asked when they had reached the Records room and closed the door behind them. She placed the records into a table.

"He said he found you on the plateau, and that you were in some kind of 'dark place'. And he said that you really scared him."

"I scared myself. Let's just say that for a while, dying sounded like a good idea," Rigella said, keeping her attention on the records, not looking at him. She wasn't sure what she would do if she saw his expression. What would his expression be: pity? Loathing? Compassion?

It was concern, and it colored his tone. "Do you _really_ want to die, Rigella?"

"No, but, sometimes I just... too tired...too much happening..." her voice faded to a murmur. He walked to her and put an arm around her shoulder. "Is there something I can do? Can I help somehow?"

Rigella finally lifter her gaze to met his and something inside broke.
Like river breaking free from winter ice. "I was told I need friends I can trust and talk to. Can I trust you?" "Yes, Rigella. Yes, you can trust me," he assured her, giving her shoulder a squeeze.

The healer suddenly felt very nervous and she started to fidget with the records. "Do you think we're friends... I know I didn't treat you fairly at first, but lately?" "I think lately we've been _many_ things that we weren't before." Care-givers, protectors, lovers... "I think now its safe to say that we're friends."

"I don't have many friends. My own fault, really, I don't let people close. That's why I probably ended up staring the emptiness up at the weyr Plateau." Shards. Poor girl. Birigundi couldn't imagine feeling that alone. "Well, I don't want you to do that again. If you feel that... that dark place, send your flit to find me and I'll come."

Rigella nodded. "I will," she promised. "But now... Are you all right now?"

"I...trying," Rigella said slowly. She gave him a joyless smile. "Well," he replied with the hint of an encouraging smile, "that's a start at least."

"I hope so. Sometimes everything feels so pointless. I mean, why am I doing this when the death wins in the end anyway?" she asked and touched the healer's knots on her shoulder.

"Because before death comes there's a whole lot of sharding good fun to be had, Rigella," he murmured, squeezing her shoulder again. "I know it might not feel that way now, surely you've had fun before. Surely you remember what that feels like."

"I don't know. Sometimes I feel like my past life before dad's death has been swallowed by some dark cloud." Birigundi shrugged and turned to gently so she could look up at him. "Well, all right. I guess that just means that you have to make a new one then. A better one. Most certainly a happy one."

"I don't have any spare energy left. Just getting up from the bed on morning is hard enough." "You just need a reason to wake up in the morning. What about your crafting? Doesn't that make you feel happy?"

"It used to." "Well, if it did before, I'm sure it will come back. And your family - your mother and brother and sister, don't they make you happy?"

"Yes, they do," Rigella managed a weak smile. "That's a start then," he smiled, shaking her lightly. "You'll see, everything will be ok again."

"If you say so. Could you.. could you just hold be for a moment? Just hold?" she asked timidly. "Sure, I can do that," he murmured, pulling her closer and wrapping his arms around her protectively. As long as she was with him, Birigundi would be sure that nothing would happen to her, and he would do whatever she needed him to do to keep her safe. "What are friends for?"

Last updated on the June 20th 2006

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