Discipline

Writers: Devin, Halyonix
Date Posted: 12th November 2025
Series: Bronze and Blue Entwined

Characters: K'mai, I'serin
Description: I'serin talks to K'mai about throwing a drink at the Hatching
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 12, day 15 of Turn 12
Notes: Mentioned: N'vanik

K'mai

I'serin

Notes:
~*~

This was not the conversation I'serin ever expected to be having with his lover.

After reviewing the reports from witnesses, I'serin sat in his office, waiting for K'mai to join him, wondering how on Pern he was going to divide himself mentally. He had to be Weyrleader for this conversation but it seemed like this was possibly a personal issue? Hopefully, it would not be a headache.

No guessing what this summons was about. K'mai knew this visit to I'serin's office wasn't going to be a fun one. Uncharacteristically, he waited for permission to enter before he stepped in. He looked unusually subdued and thoughtful, a wrinkle between his brows. "Hi, sir," he said, acknowledging that he knew this wasn't a social visit.

It took Turns of discipline not to give K'mai that exasperated fond expression that I'serin usually did. "Have a seat, rider," he said, trying to force gentleness into his tone because he was not truly angry with K'mai but he also did not want his lover to think that he would get a pass simply because they were lovers. "Would you like to give me your story about what happened at the Hatching?" he inquired.

K'mai took a breath. "There was a holder making rude comments about N'vanik. I told him to have some respect, and he started insulting me and riders in general. Nothing I haven't heard a hundred times, really. But then he said bronzeriders were depraved for liking men and I . . . I thought about him saying that to _you_ and I. . ." He looked away. "I lost my temper." Even thinking about it made him angry again.

There were many ways that I'serin could unpack what had happened versus what was said now versus the motivations behind all of it but for the immediate moment, he had to pack away the kick of panic that flared up because he thought perhaps the holders in question had discovered his secret. But no, the holders were talking about _N'vanik_, not I'serin (though his mind raced towards a future I'serin problem that he also had to pack away for now) so he was able to exhale slowly and return to a mostly centered state.

"It could have been worse," he remarked. "At least it was wine and not a punch." Assault to that degree would have been a different discussion. Delicately, I'serin said, "K'mai, I cannot have my riders causing such...uproar with holders. Even in my defense. You should not have done that."

"I wouldn't let _anyone_ talk about you that way," K'mai said fiercely. The idea of it filled him with something sharp and ferocious and a little frightening. "I wouldn't let anyone hurt you."

"Do not _question_ me, K'mai!" I'serin snapped, the Weyrleader taking charge before he could temper his response. He winced immediately. Shells, this was harder to do than he thought it would be. With his eyes closed as he reined his reactions in, I'serin said carefully, "I know...that you do not like it when I am hurt. But I am used to being hurt. And panicked. And bullied. And there are some instances where taking that is preferable to dealing with some other problem created by not taking it."

It took a moment for K'mai to get over the shock of I'serin _yelling_ at him. But his next words had K'mai shaking his head. "No. You shouldn't have to take _any_ of that. Ever."

"I should not, but I will. Because I have come to the understanding that life is full of unfair situations. If a holder decides to lob an insult at me because of their bias, I will handle it accordingly, but I cannot, _will not_ have you coming to my defense as you did. There are things that the Holds will never understand and I cannot have my lover causing strife just to defend my honor." His tone wavered between gentle and steel as he spoke, as if he could not decide whether or not to be easy on K'mai or yell at him again. I'serin had never thought about what it would be like to be a high profile figure navigating a relationship that would come under public scrutiny.

The unfairness of it burned in K'mai's chest. "I'm not sorry for what I did." He swallowed, his voice growing softer. "But I . . . I'm not trying to get out of punishment, love. I know that as Weyrleader you can't just let it go."

I'serin was not sure if he was further frustrated with K'mai's words or further relieved that the bluerider was trying to understand where he was coming from as Weyrleader. He closed his eyes again. "I understand," he said softly, "but please do not make my job any harder than it already is." When he opened his eyes, he exhaled slowly. "Nightwatch, from second hour til dawn, for a sevenday, and an apology to the holders," he said. He had considered adding salt to the wound -- no company, no parties before shift -- but he did not want to appear to be aiming for a personal jab. Still, he did not think that it would teach K'mai a lesson and, because he knew his lover, he felt alternating emotions of futility, frustration, and...validation? Endearment at being defended? He would have to consider that later.

That dangerous, sharp thing inside K'mai tried to flare up. "If they apologize for insulting a Weyrleader. Repeatedly. We can call it a regrettable incident for both parties."

Forcing patience into his tone, I'serin said, "That is beyond our jurisdiction as the Weyr but I can assure you that the Lord Holder will be having a very similar conversation with them. Guests to the Weyr should not behave so disparagingly. Neither should our riders." After he spoke, his expression quietly begged K'mai to understand that he was trying to navigate this situation as carefully and as fairly as possible. Hold and Weyr relations seemed to be an endless supply of tangles to work through.

K'mai closed his eyes and sighed. "I'll do it for you. I'd do anything for you." His apology would be a lie, but I'serin was asking him to smooth things over. "I love you, I'serin," he said softly. "I didn't mean to cause you trouble, I was . . . too angry to think."

It took Turns of discipline not to walk over and try to soothe the soft hurt in K'mai's tone. The Weyrleader of Dragonsfall Weyr held his ground. "I...understand. Believe me." And he did. He understood what it was like to have an emotion suddenly override all logic. And to have to deal with the consequences of it. I'serin exhaled softly. "Dismissed, rider," he said, as Weyrleader. Then, "I will see you later, K'mai."

K'mai stood and then hesitated. "Can I . . . have a hug?" He wanted to ground himself in I'serin's arms, to hold him and let I'serin know it was okay.

There was a painful silence from the bronzerider as he closed his eyes and said, "Go, K'mai." I'serin hated that he had to draw the line in that moment but it had to be done.

The bluerider's heart sank. Was I'serin really that mad at him? "I'm sorry, sir." The words came out barely above a whisper. Not for throwing a drink on that asshole, but for putting I'serin in this position. Then he turned and left, closing the door behind him.

Last updated on the November 28th 2025

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