Reckless

Writers: Yvonne, Eimi
Date Posted: 30th April 2007

Characters: Thalia, Kiomo
Description: Kiomo comes across Thalia in a vulnerable moment and offers her comfort
Location: Garnet Valley Hold
Date: month 2, day 19 of Turn 4
Notes: Note1: Happens simultaneously with "Black As Coal"

Note2: Again, really sorry this is so late, its due to a lot of LIAs

It was too early to be drinking. Thalia knew this, even as she held a bottle of wine firmly in one hand and skulked down the hall back to her rooms. Shards, if anyone saw- what would they think!? A Lady did not drink, never mind the Heir's mother! A cry echoed down the passage and Thalia winced, partially in sympathy but mostly for herself. Ryalane had gone into labour a few candlemarks earlier. She hurried down the hall and tried not to listen.

Somehow, it had been easier to see Penryn married. He and Ryalane spent time together in the evenings, but nothing had... changed. Not really. But a child, that made them a family, and it made Thalia sick to her stomach with envy. She could dream silly, girlish, impossible dreams about a man with a wife he married out of duty, but she couldn't do that to a father. Their marriage, their family was permanent, and she had no place in their lives. In Penryn's life.
She, unlike the Steward, was alone save for her small son. Aswic was dead, and he'd never cared much for her anyway.

"Thalia?"

Thalia jumped and nearly lost her grip on the bottle. She spun, hiding her wine in her voluminous skirts, to face Kiomo. "Shells! You frightened me! You shouldn't sneak up on people like that!"

"What are you doing?" he asked as he closed the distance between them. "Are you all right?"

Shards, why wouldn't he leave her alone!? Fear gripped her insides and stole her breath. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh, I don't know. Hurrying through the halls at this time of the afternoon carrying a bottle of wine. I assume back in the direction of your rooms." She didn't actually believe he hadn't seen it, did she?

Caught! Thalia felt the blood rush to her cheeks as she tried to think of something to say that would exonerate her. She might as well be holding a bloody knife or something. "I- I can have a glass of wine if I wish, and its no business of yours!"

"You could," he nodded. "But its not good to drink alone. Its better to drink with a friend."

"I- wasn't going to..." It sounded lame, even to her ears.

"Why don't I escort you back to your rooms," he said gently, holding out an arm for her to take. "I'm a fair hand with a bottle opener."

Thalia hesitated, torn between the desire to let her heart break alone, and the need for someone to comfort her. Even if he didn't know it... after all, Kiomo didn't _know_ anything. Did he? Did it matter? She tentatively tucked her hand in the crook of her elbow and let him lead her back to her rooms with more confidence than she felt.

He followed her into her room and waited for her to switch on the light. "This is lovely," Kiomo smiled as he stepped inside. "I can see your hand in every corner of the room."

It _was_ a beautiful room. Soft fabrics and bright tapestries softened the floor and whitewashed walls, and the furniture was graceful and delicate. Usually it made her happy; a retreat she could hide in and pretend that the world went away. Today it was impossible to forget Ryalane down the hall, giving birth to Penryn's first child. She sighed and collapsed onto a small seatee and closed her eyes. "Thank you."

"And are those the bed-curtains you and I picked out?" he asked, peeking though the open sleeping room door.

"Yes." Belatedly the realization that she was alone in her rooms with a man who was not a relative hit her. And Thalia couldn't quite find it in herself to care. What did it matter, really? She held up the wine bottle. "You said that you were good at opening these?"

"I am indeed. In fact," he dug into his pocket and pulled out his pocket knife, "I have an opener right on here. Do you have glasses?"

Glasses! Of course she'd forget something that essential. That's what silly women did. Thalia shook her head. "I forgot. I can't believe I forgot."

"That's all right," he smiled as he popped the top. "No one will notice if we drink it straight from the bottle."

"Straight from the bottle?!" That was what uneducated people did! It was wine! Thalia was horrified.

"Thalia, there's no one to impress here but me, and you really don't need to be worried." He handed her the bottle. "Drink from the bottle, Thalia. Sometimes its just good for the soul."

She shook her head. "I can't..."

"Thalia," Kiomo said softly, reaching out to soothingly caress her cheek with the backs of his fingers, "it's all right."

She stiffened uncomfortably, then reached for the bottle. Kiomo was right. She'd already let a man into her rooms unchaperoned. What did it matter if she drank like a stupid drudge, straight from the bottle as if she didn't know any better? Her mother would be horrified. The wine was sweet on her lips as she handed the bottle back to Kiomo.
"Just don't tell anyone."

Kiomo smiled as he turned on the seat to face her, letting his arm drape lazily across the back. "And risk _both_ of our repuatations? No thank you, mine has suffered enough as of late."

"So I've heard," she replied archly, only half in jest.

He was sure _everyone_ had heard about it. His eyes drifted away from her face to lock on the bottle in his hands, seeming almost afraid to look her in the eye. "Did you... believe it? What they accused me of?"

"Of course not," Thalia said staunchly. Whether or not she believed it... it was hard to _disbelieve_ it, no matter how much she wished to. The better question would be if, right then, she cared.

He gave her a small, grateful smile. "I would have hated to think you had." Kiomo sighed and took a swig of wine. "Trouble seems to follow us, doesn't it. It's the disease that strikes those of the Blood."

"I wouldn't be quite so melodramatic... but yes, we do have troubles." Thalia stared glumly at her feet. Maybe drudges and field workers had troubles too, but she never saw them struggling with any.

Kiomo traced the edge of the lable with his thumbnail. "Well, I'll make you a deal, Thalia of the Blood. If you tell me your troubles, I'll tell you mine."

"I'll make you a better deal, Kiomo of the Blood," Thalia shot back, "How about you _don't_ tell me your troubles and I _don't_ tell you mine. I am sick of trouble. I want nothing more to do with it!"

"That's rather bitter," Kiomo frowned. She held her hand out for the wine. "On the contrary, it's not bitter at all. Why should I fret needlessly over something I cannot change?"

He handed the bottle over to her. "There's nothing done that can't be undone."

The Lady hesitated, then put the bottle to her lips. Wine tasted different like this - harsher, somehow. Illicit. "Are you so sure about that?" "Yeah, I do," Kiomo nodded, giving her a look that said **I dare you to prove me wrong...**

"A baby cannot be unmade. A crippling accident cannot be undone. A death cannot be undone," she said, ticking them off on her fingers.
"There. Three troubles that cannot be so easily mended!"

He shrugged as if that proved nothing. "A baby can be fostered out to a good home. Handicaps can be overcome. We can move on after a death. The actual event cannot be undone, but the effects of it can."

She shook her head and sipped at the wine. "Semantics. Yes, a baby can be fostered out, but it makes a permanent mark on a woman's reputation. Handicaps are not always overcome - my great-aunt had a fall that left her paralysed from the neck down, and she died a turn later in bed. There isn't an easy answer for everything."

"_You_ aren't handicapped. And your reputation was not ruined by your son. I doubt you want to undo him..."

"That would be the furthest thing from my mind. And I was only giving examples to prove a point - they aren't personal!"

"And what you wish you could change _is_ personal?"

Thalia sighed. "I'd have a husband who was alive."

"So is that what all this is about?" Kiomo asked gently. "Is it because you're missing your husband today?"

"Didn't I say that I was sick of troubles? Because I am," Thalia snapped. Was it too much to ask to be let to forget? But after a moment she sighed. "That was rude of me. I'm sorry, Kiomo. I'm- not myself today."

"It's all right. It's just... As your friend, I worry about you, Thalia. You keep things inside so much and are afraid to show the world your true thoughts and feelings. I understand that. I come from the same place. I have that same pressure to be exactly as everyone expects me to be. But there's only so much solitude we can take. We still need that... human comfort sometimes. Even you." His hand dropped from the back of the sofa to slide around her shoulders. "Please Thalia. Don't push me away."

She clutched the bottle a little tighter. Nobody had touched her like that since- since Aswic had died. Since before that. "I'm not," she said quietly. "Just don't think that you have to face life alone, Thalia," he said quietly as his fingers rubbed her shoulder soothingly. "You are loved. Just remember that."

The wine was beginning to make her head buzz - or that was what she told herself, at least. She took another sip just in case. "I suppose that's one good thing about having a son. He's bound to love me, whether or not he wants to."

Kiomo's hand reached for the bottle, but instead of wrapping around the neck of it, his fingers slid down the cool glass to cover hers. "I'm not talking about your son, Thalia," he whispered.

Thalia's heart skipped a beat. Kiomo had very dark eyes... she glanced up at him and was caught. "Then, what do you mean?" The question sounded innocent. She half-hoped it was.

He lefted his fingers to trace down her cheek, leaning in closer and whispering, "When was the last time you were really kissed by a man?"

"Why does it matter?" she asked. The way Kiomo was looking at her, she'd be kissed soon. It was a bad idea. They ought not to get involved - she had her son to worry about. But... Thalia was lonely, and the man she wanted was with his wife down the hall. Sometimes it didn't feel right to be proper.

Kiomo figured she'd had enough pretty words. She certainly wasn't pulling back, and he took that as his cue to lean forward and kiss her, not hard, but certainly without reservation. Shards, he had been biding his time for so long for an opportunity like this one to present itself. He was not about to let it slip through his fingers with a little adolescent hesitation!

A kiss was just a kiss. But did a kiss ever feel this good? A little lump formed in her throat and tears pricked at her eyes - whether it was the drink or because she was so lonely, Thalia didn't know. Or particularly care. She felt reckless.

Last updated on the July 13th 2007

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