Troubled and Difficult

Writers: Jane, Vanessa T Sommerfeld
Date Posted: 21st January 2008

Characters: R'haran, Nasiria
Description: R'haran attempts to talk to Nasiria
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 7, day 20 of Turn 4

Troubled. Difficult. The words arrived in R'haran's mind before he was aware that he had noticed the young woman standing, hesitating for a moment with her meal and looking around for a place to sit. No matter how old and how self-assured one felt, that moment of decision never really became any easier. He didn't know if she would welcome his interference, but he was willing to give her an option. "Nasiria! There's space here if you'd like to join me." There was nothing like Turns of harper training to make a voice carry even over the often strong voices of a dining cavern full of dragonriders. She heard the man's invitation -- as did everyone else in the cavern --but her eyes swept the room once more to try to find someone.anyone else to sit with. The only other option she could see was a former lover that she would just as soon avoid. **Shards** She resigned herself to spending a boring meal and made a mental note to murder Calirin. She smiled sweetly and approached the table. "Weyrharper." She sat down. "Nasiria," the greenrider said with a smile that was more sincere that the one he was favoured with. "How are you this evening?" She wanted to roll her eyes, but suppressed the urge and gave the standard answer. "I am very well, thank you. And you?" "Also well, thank you for asking," he said in a deliberately bland tone.
"Are you looking forward to the next Hatching?"
**Oh OK, this is going to be the standard, Keep Trying lecture.** She did her best to look bored. "I suppose." "I _suppose_ it's not _very_ exciting to a young woman who's Stood before -
though it has been some time since Dragonsfall had eggs on the Sands." She shrugged. "Did you go to Dolphin Cove or River Bluff to try your luck there?" So many young candidates had accepted the invitations of those Weyrs to Stand at their Hatchings while Dragonsfall's Sands were empty. She nodded. "My _mother_ insisted on taking me, although I had no intentions of impressing a dragon at another weyr. I really don't know what she was thinking." "That a lifemate is the most precious thing, no matter what Weyr you find her at?" R'haran suggested drily. Nasiria knew the harper had only asked her to sit down because he felt sorry for her. She had indulged him so far, but she would draw the line at getting _fatherly_ advice. When would everyone realize that she was a grown woman? Putting on a seductive pout, she leaned forward and locked eyes with him. "OK, now you just sound like her." She laughed "Don't go getting all paternal on me, R'haran. I was hoping you invited me over here to make a pass at me." The Weyrharper threw back his head and laughed. "Only if Evie's colour changes to something less green. Does that usually work for distracting people from asking you about yourself?" She continued to smile, genuinely amused by his response. "It works often enough. Are you sure you won't change your mind? You don't know what you're missing," she taunted. "You wouldn't be my first green, you know." "I'm perfectly happy to not know what I'm missing in this case - and not least because you're young enough to be my granddaughter if I had ever done anything that would make the existence of such person possible." "That may be true, but I do have a lot of experience." She looked from his striking blue eyes to his muscled arms and licked her lips. "And you are still a very handsome man." She was actually beginning to enjoy teasing him-and it would take the conversation away from any lecture that he had planned. "Thank you," R'haran said, rather amused but thinking that good manners were (as always) the key to navigating the deliberate distractions in Nasiria's conversation. "It's always nice to be ... appreciated, regardless of the source. Is Impressing important to you?" he asked, turning the talk back to the original subject. She smiled. "It's the most important thing in any Weyr, isn't it?" "It's the most important thing to Pern in a Pass. But you're old enough to remember before Thread returned and to possibly have a different point of view." Nasiria bristled. Her life before the Pass seemed like a distant dream. Her father was alive and her mother was happy. She was happy. "Nothing that happened before the Pass began makes any difference at all now." She managed to maintain a stoic expression. "Dragons and their riders are the only hope we have for survival. They are the most important beings on Pern.
Trust me. I _will_ be a dragon rider. It's the only thing that matters anymore." "Lots of things matter, Nasiria. People still matter. Family." "Yes, I'm sure you would think so now that you've inherited a gaggle of kids and you're feeling all paternal. But those kids will grow up and leave you someday. Don't forget that. Your dragon never will." "My children will grow up and take their place in the world, and I'll be proud to see them do it," R'haran corrected. "Mmm. Right. The standard answer." But she had to stick it to him. "But do you really want to invest _all_ of that energy into a bunch of selfish children who will take what you have to give as if it were nothing-all the while lamenting that they didn't get _more_--and then up and leave without a backward glance, much less a thank you?"

"Is that a prediction about how my children will grow up, Nasiria, or a summary of somebody closer to home?"

She had to admit, he was right. "Yea. I guess it's a little of both. But that doesn't make it any less accurate."

"Only time will tell how mine will turn out, and you have the ability to change how you have, if you feel that's necessary." This man was relentless in turning the conversation around on her. It frustrated her, but she tried to remain aloof. She vaguely remembered her father telling her never to argue with a Harper. The thought of him was quickly pushed away. "No, I think I've turned out just fine, considering.
Thank you."

"Considering?" Nasiria gritted her teeth. She really just wanted to get away. He wouldn't leave it alone. "Considering my father didn't love me enough to stick around and be with me. Or considering my mother didn't love me enough to put aside her own pain for two breaths and help me through it. Take your pick."

"Perhaps you'll see your father's desertion in another light when you Impress for yourself," R'haran suggested mildly.

He was positively infuriating! She knew he was right, but she would never admit it. "I doubt that." She changed her tone to an almost friendly one, except for the sarcastic vein running right through it. "Well, as much fun as this has been, I'm finished eating. So, thanks for the-um company." "You're welcome. It's been a pleasure catching up with you, Nasiria." She doubted that, too, but said, "Likewise. We'll have to do it again, sometime." Although she thought next time, she would sit with the ex-lover.
At least then, she could have a good argument instead of being grilled about her emotional state. "Good evening." R'haran nodded and watched the young woman leave, afraid that nothing he had said had meant anything to her and that the person walking away the same troubled and difficult person who had arrived at the table.

Last updated on the January 27th 2008

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Troubled and Difficult