Under the Cover of Darkness (2)

Writers: AL, Cali
Date Posted: 18th October 2008

Characters: Sorsha, Ri'len
Description: Sorsha and Railen go out after dark and things are said that can't be taken back.
Location: Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 12, day 11 of Turn 4

The young man blushed, though thankfully the colour was muted because of the lack of bright light. "I just...wanted to share this with you. I come here when I need to be alone, usually, or when I'm troubled and need to think." He shifted rather uncomfortably. "And...I thought you might like it here. Thought maybe...maybe it could be _our_ special spot."

Now it was Sorsha's turn to blush. She wanted to think he was just sealing their friendship, bonding them together; but what if it wasn't friendship he was wanting? "It's... beautiful" was all she could think of to say.

Silence reigned a few moments as Railen pondered what words to say. What could he say? Whatever came to mind sounded trite and empty. So, instead, he did his best to start a conversation that would hopefully lead him to where he wanted to go. "I know you said earlier that you were happy here," He shifted, took a sip of his cordial, then continued, "Are you truly? Do you truly like it here, Sorsha? Please, if you're not, I want to know. Don't spare my feelings on the matter."

Sorsha hugged herself unconsciously as she looked through the feathery branches to where she could see the moonslight reflecting off the slowly flowing water. She could almost imagine that it was sea and not river that lapped the banks. "I am happy here Railen. It's not home, but Willet Grove is more comfortable than when I was at the Weyr. Here I have you and your sisters to keep me company, and your hold is not so very different from mine. While I miss the sea and my family, it's not hard to find enough of the same here to keep me happy."

Railen smiled and turned it upon her. He scooted a bit closer to her, his knee touching hers. "Good, I'm glad. I was afraid...I was afraid you weren't happy here and I do want you to be happy. I'll do my best to keep you happy."

"I... I think I would like it if this could be my spot too." she said, trying to find certainty in herself. "You're my best friend, it seems right."

"And you, mine." Railen moved even closer and took her hand, squeezing it gently. "I like you Sorsha. A lot." He leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. "I'm glad you like me too."

"Railen," Sorsha whispered after a moment, trying to think of some way to stop what she thought was coming. "We'd better get back. If either of your sisters wake up..."

"They won't. They sleep heavier than the dead." Railen laughed softly. Then, something urged him onward and he dared to lean over and kiss her on her head. A hand gently lifted her chin and he lowered his mouth to tenderly cover hers.

She pulled back as their lips touched, startled by his actions. "Railen, I..."

Railen reached up to stroke Sorsha's cheek. "I...I think I love you Sorsha." Then he shook his head, "No. I don't think. I _do_ love you." His thumb ran lightly over her cheek and he leaned down to kiss her again, remaining gentle.

Her eyes grew large as saucers as she stared at him in disbelief before she scrambled out of his reach. "Whoa, Railen, what are you talking about? If you're making some sort of joke on me it's not funny."

"No!" Railen was on his feet, his face twisted in confusion and hurt at her reaction. "It's no joke, Sorsha. None at all." He held his hands out, palm up, almost as if he were pleading. "I would never joke about something like this."

Sorsha stood up too, an automatic reaction to his sudden movements. "But you're not making any sense," her voice shrill in her confusion, "Just this afternoon we were making fun of my cousin and flipping hay at each other when we fed Tobi, you just said I was your best friend! How do you go from that to... to... to 'not joking'?"

"I wanted to tell you somewhere special. Not in the stables throwing hay at one another. I wanted it to be when we were alone together, here." Railen let his hands fall to his side, pain clouding his features. "And you _are_ my best friend Sorsha. Love doesn't change that fact."

She could tell she had hurt him, but she didn't know what to do, this was all so very unexpected. She wanted to go to him, to take his hand and smile at him and try to make the pain go away, but she was rooted under that big tree, confusion and indecision holding her down. "Railen, please just... I just need a minute okay?"

Railen took a step back, then lowered himself back down upon the blanket, turning his gaze to the river. It hadn't been the reaction he had expected. He had thought that maybe she'd be willing to give him a try if she didn't already care for him in that manner. He certainly hadn't expected the almost panicked exclamations. "Take your time." He whispered, wishing that he hadn't thought to do this after all. It had been a bad idea.

Facing away from him, towards the trunk of the big tree, Sorsha's mind raced. Images and half thoughts kept flicking through her head; Railen's soft smile, his patience when she'd exhibit sub-par riding skills, his dry humor cheering her through her endeavors. They shifted to I'lan after a moment; how he saved her from Threadfall, his interest and curiosity at her sea life, his soft lips as he had kissed her that last night, the loneliness she had felt all this last month when he had never returned to her. Then a replay of tonight, the excitement of sneaking out, the warmth of his arms around her as they rode out, the imagined kisses that were so nice, and then the real one that she had ruined. She inhaled long and hard, she had messed things up so entirely and she didn't know what to do. She _wanted_ to run away and cry, but she had no place to run to with only the one runner, and where she might normally have run to Railen-- well, he was the one she was wanting to run away from! If only she could have never agreed to come with him tonight.

"Railen," Sorsha whispered as she walked over and sat down next to him, apart just enough so that she didn't touch him, both now facing the river. "Can we go back in time... I mean, I know we can't but can we pretend like we did?"

Railen blinked and turned his head to regard her. "I'm sorry Sorsha. I shouldn't have done this. I should have waited to see if there was any hope you might be interested. I just...I know you like me and I wanted to show you how I felt about you. I...hoped that maybe you'd be willing to try to love me."

"But maybe I am, maybe I could be... I just don't know." Sorsha cried, so frustrated at herself and also at him. "What were you really expecting? You just declare yourself to me out of _nowhere_ in the middle of _nowhere_ in the middle of _night_? And I'm supposed to do what? Just give a declaration of my own? That's very unfair of you Railen."

"I...I don't know. I'm sorry, I just..." He shifted uncomfortably, not quite sure what to say, how to fix it, how to make it right. "I just..." He fumbled around for a few moments before finally settling on another, "I'm sorry."

She took Railen's hand and intertwined her fingers with his, leaning her head over so that it touched his shoulder. She hated that she'd hurt him, hated to see him in pain. "I'm sorry too."

Especially when she didn't know if he needed to be in such pain. What if she did love him? Did she even know what being in love felt like? Did he? She knew she felt _something_ for Railen, it had come upon her slowly, over the many a days they'd been nearly inseparable since she'd arrived at Willet Grove. It didn't feel like what she'd felt for I'lan though, and that's what confused her. She thought she was in love with I'lan... or at least _had_ loved him, his abandonment of her was something she was having difficulty accepting; so if she _had_ been in love with I'lan, then what she was feeling for Railen couldn't be love. Could it?

The boy hesitated a moment, as if he wasn't sure whether or not Sorsha was baiting him. He did eventually relax and encircled his arm about her. "I have something I have to tell you. I've been told not to say anything to you but..but it's not right. And I feel bad for not saying anything sooner."

Sorsha groaned involuntarily, what more could he say! She didn't think she could handle another declaration from him tonight, she was still trying to process everything else. "Can we just leave it for now? Can we just sit here and watch the river and leave everything for tomorrow?"

Railen opened his mouth to protest, but shut it before a word could escape. Yes. Yes, it was best. They could sit by the river and he could enjoy her company for a night. Perhaps she would hate him when he told her, after all. Railen's hold upon her tightened and he nuzzled her hair then planted a kiss upon her head. Yes. For the night, they would be together. He would worry about telling her in the morning.

Last updated on the October 20th 2008

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

Under the Cover of Darkness (2)