Sorsha's Nightmare (2)

Writers: AL, Cali
Date Posted: 9th December 2008

Characters: Sorsha, Ri'len
Description: Sorsha's nightmares spur a surprise decision.
Location: Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 13, day 10 of Turn 4

"Sorsha," Railen whispered, gently lifting her face so she would look at him. "We'll go to the Weyr. You'll stand at the hatching."

She shook her head violently, "No! I can't leave you. I want to marry you, to be with you forever. I can't stand the thought of being without you."

"I'll come with you." Railen reassured her. She didn't really think he was going to leave her? He didn't think he could stand that either. You should stand. In your heart, I know you want to. I don't think you would be having these dreams otherwise."

Sorsha looked up at him, his face hard to read in the dark. "You can't leave the hold. You're to inherit. And you have all your runners..."

"You're more important than any old runner." Railen would gladly give up ten holds if it meant he could be with Sorsha. He kissed her then, body trembling with the emotions that he felt, hoping that the gesture would proclaim to her what his heart was stating. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against hers. "I want you to be happy. I want to be with you. If that means putting the Hold behind me and following you to the Weyr, so be it."

She lay in his arms for a long time, an occasional sob escaping her. She didn't want the life of a dragonrider, she wanted to be a wife and mother. She didn't want a dragon to die either. She couldn't live with herself if she was responsible for the death of one of those beautiful little dragonets. And she wanted the nightmares to stop. Maybe if she went, even if she didn't Impress, maybe they would end. If she did Impress though, if that little dragonets was waiting for her on the sands... her life would never be the same again. She'd be a fighter, for the rest of her life. She couldn't marry Railen, and she knew that children were hard to have with all the /betweening/ one did. "If I Stand," her voice no more than a whisper, "I might actually Impress."

"Yes." Railen knew that was a possibility. After all, Sorsha had been searched. A dragon specifically had said that she would be a good candidate. She hadn't just gone to the Weyr and asked to stand, so the probability that she would Impress was certainly more likely. "If you impress, then I guess we'll just stay at the Weyr, then."

The fact that Railen was willing to chance it, to leave his hold, his inheritance, his happy stable future for her just astounded Sorsha. She realized that he must really loved her very very much. "If I Impress I could die. I could be threadscored, and if I don't die, I could be disfigured and scarred. I might not be pretty for you anymore."

"Yes you will." Railen insisted, his arms tightening around her. Yes, he knew that was a possibility to. Thread was feared by everyone, and he had seen some of the devastation it had caused during his short stay at the Weyr. "You'll always be beautiful to me, Sorsha. You're beautiful on the outside, yes, but you're more beautiful on the inside, and that's the important part."

She was quiet again for a few moments, her possible future filling her thoughts. "What about _us_ though. If I Impress, my dragon will rise to mate. The riders... they don't have a choice. Before... I accepted it as a necessity, they say that the riders enjoy it because their dragons do. But now that I have you... I just don't know. Could we survive if you had to share me?"

Railen stiffened at the thought. Yes, he knew that too. He was well aware of it. The Weyr had opened his eyes in many ways. It had helped, though, that one of his friends had impressed and had explained much to him. "My question is, Sorsha, that should you impress and your dragon rises, once the flight is over and the dragon is no longer in control, who will you come back to?"

"Of course I'd come back to you." her voice a little louder than intended by her shock. "I'll never want to be with anyone but you."

"Then, as long as I'm the one you come back to, I think I can handle it." Railen whispered, lips brushing against her ear.

Sorsha wasn't so sure, "You say that now, but it might be different if you see me in the arms of another man. Or just knowing that I'm with someone else. When I come back to you and I'm sore and bruised, and glowing with satisfaction, do you still think you're going to be able to handle it?"

"I...I don't know." Railen honestly hadn't thought of it that way at all. "I would hope so. I'm willing to try at least Sorsha. These dreams...they're hurting you and I can't stand to see you hurt."

"And I couldn't stand to see you hurt either." Sorsha echoed hollowly. She started crying again, this time because she couldn't see an easy clear path. If she stayed, she was hurting Railen. If she went to the Weyr, she'd probably hurt him there too. She didn't know what to do... so she cried.

"We'll go to the Weyr." Railen stated after another long few moments of thinking. It was the best thing for Sorsha, and that was what was most important. "We'll deal with things as they come. I love you, Sorsha, nothing will ever change that. Love can withstand anything."

He sounded so sure, and Sorsha was so confused. It seemed so easy to just let him make the decision for them both... so she did. Her tears coming under control, she tried to wipe her face clean with her chemise. "Can I stay here for awhile?"

"Of course." Railen shifted into a position that would be more comfortable long term, then drew Sorsha back to him. She felt so good in his arms. Could he really deal with the fact that should she impress, she would occasionally be in someone else's? He knew that riders had no control, so it wouldn't be like she was trying to be with someone else. She wouldn't have control over herself. But she would have control over who she chose after the flight was over. As long as she chose him and not someone else. Railen buried his face in her hair, inhaling her scent. "I love you Sorsha." He whispered, wishing he could take away all her fear and anxiety.

"I love you too." She said simply as she relaxed into him. At some point in the night she fell asleep, but Railen woke her when the night sky started to lighten. She gave him a few more quick kisses and then went back into her room. Raise was still asleep, and no one was the wiser for her nighttime activities.

Last updated on the December 12th 2008

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

Sorsha's Nightmare (2)