Try Again

Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 30th December 2008

Characters: Daigoro, Cinale
Description: Daigoro and Cinale suffer a setback
Location: Vintner Hall
Date: month 13, day 17 of Turn 4

Cinale

The Hallsecond grabbed the journeyman's arm to get his attention. "Where
is she?" he panted out.

"Hallsecond, I'm sorry to make you rush. I hope I didn't alarm you too
much..." the journeyman said, turning his undivided attention on the man.
"Perhaps you should sit down a moment." The Hallsecond's flushed face and
difficulty breathing worried the healer.

"I ran... from the vineyard... is all," Daigoro assured him, waving off
concern. He was not the one who should be worried about. "Now... where
is... my wife."

"Please, Master Daigoro, have a seat and I will explain everything." The
journeyman pulled out a chair and gently pushed the man down into it.

The Hallsecond rested his elbows on his knees and covered his face with
his thick hands as he fought for breath. "It was something about the
baby?" he finally asked once he felt his breathing come a bit easier.

"Yes," the journeyman replied gently as he pulled up a chair beside him,
confident now that at least the Hallsecond was all right. "Apparently she
had been feeling some cramps, but had thought it was normal."

"She mentioned that. She'd been feeling that pain for a day or two,"
Daigoro nodded, remembering that he had lain next to her the night before
rubbed her lower back until the rhythmic motions had put him to sleep.
"She thought it was normal for women to have back pain when their
pregnant."

"But she had been bleeding as well."

Daigoro lifted his face, shifting to grip his knees tightly with his
hands, fighting the urge to run out of the room to find her. Shards, he
should have known something was wrong. Had she known everything and not
told him? Had she been trying to protect him again? "She had been
bleeding a little, but someone had told her that was normal during the
first few months of pregnancy. That's what she told me. It is normal,
isn't it?"

"It can be," the healer replied with a nod. "But bleeding _and_ pain is a
sign that... well, that there is a high chance that a miscarriage would
take place."

"Shards, Cinale..." Daigoro whispered with a sad shake of his head. "What
do we do?"

The journeyman reached over and laid a sympathetic hand on the brewer's
shoulder. "I'm sorry, Daigoro, but I'm afraid it's too late. She lost
the baby soon after she came in."

"Lost?" Daigoro's eyes filled with tears and his throat closed over a
hard lump. His poor Cinale. They had both had such joy at the news that
they had finally become pregnant. And now... "Is she all right?"

"Yes," he was quickly assured. "The bleeding she's experiencing now is
normal and we don't think there is much chance of infection. We should
keep an eye on her over the next few days to be sure, but it seems her
body expelled everything and there is no real danger."

At least there was some comfort to be had in that. "Why did this happen?"

"I can't tell you that. All I can tell you is that it is not uncommon for
a woman Cinale's age to experience a miscarriage."

Cinale's age... It had never mattered to him. She was always so young
and beautiful in his eyes. And so kind and caring, giving and loving...
How could this happen to such a good woman. "It doesn't seem fair..." he
whispered, leaning his head in his hands once more. "She's been waiting
for this all her life and now this... It just doesn't seem fair..."

~~**~~

Daigoro took a deep breath as he stood in the doorway to the infirmary,
one hand gripping the wooden door frame. He had managed to gain some
control of himself as he and the healer talked about what to expect in the
coming days. The Hallsecond thought he was strong enough to face her, but
as he looked at her staring out the window she looked so sad, so tired.
He fought the sting of tears once more, berating himself. Daigoro needed
to be strong for her now. He needed to shove down his own disappointment,
his own grief. Swallowing his tears he walked quickly into the room.

"There's my beauty," he said, with the bravest smile he could muster.

The tears she'd been fighting so hard against welled swiftly in her eyes
at the sound of his voice. Slowly she turned her head to look at him, and
as she blinked, those lingering tears ran down her cheeks. Her lips
parted to say his name, but a sob came out instead.

He sank to the edge of the bed helplessly, reaching out to pull her to
him. Daigoro couldn't let her see the tears fall from his eyes as well.
"Don't cry, love. Don't cry. Everything will be all right, just please,
don't cry."

How could he ask that of her? How could he, when her heart felt as though
it had been shredded? She weakly clutched at his arms, turning her face
to hide it against his shoulder.

Daigoro felt utterly useless as she clung to him. What could he say?
What could he do to take this pain away from her? He wished desperately
that he had the words to take it all away, but he didn't. All he could do
was flail helplessly and hope he could somehow be a comfort to her. "The
healer says you'll be all right. He says that you're in no danger. And
that's... that's really what matters..." He almost couldn't force the
last word out and he bit his lip hard to keep from showing her his
weakness. She needed him to be strong.

The very small part of her that wasn't completely overcome with grief
distantly understood what he was saying, but her sense of loss was too
strong to accept his words and take them to heart. All that she really
knew was that she had lost their baby, their firstborn. Her fingers
tightened on his tunic as she shook her head, throat too tight to form any
words of denial.

"That's all that matters to me, Cinale. That you're safe." He took a
deep breath, not allowing himself to think of the possibility that he
could ever have lost her as well. "The healer says there's no reason to
think that it will happen again..." Faranth, Daigoro hoped on the blessed
egg she would not have to feel this pain a second time! "We can try
again. We will have a baby, we just... have to try again." He clamped
his jaw tightly around that final word, feeling betrayed by his voice as
it cracked.

But she heard it. Cinale lifted her face to look at his, saw the tears.
To see his own pain shocked her briefly out of her own, and she reached
out with a shaking hand to touch him.

Shard it all, she shouldn't be comforting _him_, he berated himself.
Reaching to cup her face gently between his two great hands he whispered,
"I didn't lose you, my love, and that's really..." he couldn't finish.
His shoulders shook as he tried to hold back the sob that filled his own
heart. He was supposed to be the strong one...

Fresh tears trickled down her cheeks, dripping onto his hands as she
watched his shoulders hunch with his grief. Cinale kept one hand pressed
against the side of his face, and her other curled around his wrist,
sliding down his arm in a tender, understanding caress. Neither of them
were alone in this. As painful as it was, neither of them were alone.

Daigoro felt a mix of shame and relief as his wife tried to comfort him.
She shouldn't have to be worrying about him at a time like this, but he
could feel how much she cared for him and he was grateful for it. "I love
you," he whispered as he pulled her to him once more. "Everything will be
all right, Cinale. It may take some time... But everything will be all
right."

Last updated on the January 10th 2009

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