Her office, his office

Writers: Eimi, Paula
Date Posted: 28th March 2009

Characters: Zelanka, Benaroy
Description: Zelanka remembers how she became the Headwoman.
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 2, day 2 of Turn 5
Notes: Mentioned: Nimroy

Zelanka returned to her office with a kettle and poured hot water to a
mug. She had a headache. All those little problems that people kept
pouring to her neck, expecting her to solve them! Well, it was the
prize of being the Headwoman, she mused when she added herbs to the
water.
She looked around in her office while she waited the herbs to brew. It
was been hers for last fifteen turns. Her little sanctuary.

~*~

When she entered the Lord Holder's office, he was standing by the window
staring out as the lowering sun started to shine off the distant hills
with an amber glow. "The days are getting shorter," he said, not
turning to look at her. Benaroy could still pick her out by the sound
of her skirts. "Where did this turn go?" Where did the growing season
go?

"Slipped past us in a hurry, sir," Zelanka replied.

"That it did, Zelanka, that it did," he said with a slow nod. It had
taken a while, but after their love affair had ended some fifteen turns
before, he had eventually become accustomed to the cool formality with
which they now addressed each other. "Please sit down, would you?
Excuse the mess," he said waving at the desk covered in countless hides
and plates of cold food that hadn't yet been touched.

"Yes, my lord," Zelanka said and sit down. She did cast a frown
towards the untoched food.

"As you know, our Headwoman has been taking care of her husband since
his accident and his recovery has not been as swift as we might have
hoped." It was a sharding shame too. Narbe had been a productive
farmer for the Hold for turns. Benaroy could only hope one of their
sons might be mature enough to step up to fill the rather large hole it
had left in their production.

"I know, she's been very worried about him," Zelanka nodded.

"The Lady Holder," he could not quite bring himself to call her his
'wife' to Zelanka, "has done her best to fill the gap, but as you know,
she is not well herself."

"Yes, I'm aware of the situation," Zelanka said carefully. Shards, she
hated the way they tiptoed around each others these days. Her heart
still ached when she thought what they had had and what she had lost,
even if the ache had been dulled over the turns.

"I think that it's time to name a new headwoman and take some of the
burdon off of her shoulders. I spoke with the Headwoman, and she
agrees. And she recommends you to fill her position." He wasn't sure
if she'd want it. He was even less sure how he felt about it. It would
mean they would work in close contact with each other again, a thought
which both thrilled and worried him. Benaroy knew he could not afford
to fall in love with her again, if he had ever fallen out of love with
her at all. Unconciously he held his breath as his eyes searched hers,
wondering what her answer might be.

Zelanka was pleased, she knew she was the most capable of the assitant
headwomen, not to mention the oldest one. Yet she worried if her
feelings were going to complicate the things, and part of her feared
that he offered the position to her because of their past. "Thank you,
My lord, I accept," she said. She could hardly refuse when she knew
she could do it.

"Good," he said, nodded as his eyes dropped to his hands folded on a
pile of hides on top of his desk. "You should report to the Lady Holder
tomorrow and take over from there. And of course..." Benaroy almost
reminded her that he expected her to not divulge the true nature of
their relationship to his wife, but that was foolish. Of course she
wouldn't. He still trusted her completely. He also was on the verge of
reminding her that despite their previous relationship, things between
them would remain purely on a professional basis. But they had managed
that quite well over the turns. There was no reason to doubt her now.
And if he were to be honest with himself, didn't he hope that maybe,
perhaps, the icy formality between them might thaw. Even... No. He
could not hope for that. He was too old for wild fantasies that would
inevitably end once more in pain and regret. "Of course any way that
you can help the Lady Holder would be appreciated."

"Of course," Zelanka said. She would be nothing but respectful and kind
to the woman. Till now, she mostly stayed away from her. It was easier
that way.

"Good." They felt silent for the space of a few breaths staring at each
other from across the desk that stood between them. Their business was
done. But they were alone so rarely, and when they were Benaroy always
felt as if he had so much he wanted to say. And yet so much he couldn't
put into words. Finally he broke the silence. "I saw Lantriv the other
day out practicing with the junior guard. He's growing so tall."

"Yes, he is. He does look after you," Zelanka replied, her gaze
wandering between his eyes and her own hands, clasped tightly together
in her lap. "I have to tell him soon, about you, he is started to take
interest in girls and he is spending too much time around Anzha..."
she added nervously.

"She will be married soon. I don't think you need to worry about that."
He was a younger man and he knew his daughter well enough to recognize
her ambition. She would not be a holder's wife.

Zelanka nodded. "I do know he fancies her. Just a teenager crush, I'm
sure," she said.

"Well, I will be sure to keep her occupied in the Ladies Solar and the
Family Wing in the coming sevendays just to be sure." If there had been
a possibility that she might recipricate his feelings that would indeed
have been a problem. "Of course, I know I have mentioned it before, but
I would be happy to send him to a Crafthall or to foster to another
Hold. It's a rare privilage. I want to give him every opportunity.
It's... the least I can do." The only thing he could do.

"It's perhaps selfish, but I want keep him near," Zelanka said.

"Can't I at least train him alongside my other sons?" Maybe even have a
chance to get to know the boy as more than just a name on a record, or a
face in a crowd. He wanted to talk to the boy, build some kind of
relationship with him. Lantriv was the only thing that remained of that
passionate love affair between them. He wanted to get to know him, and
yet was afraid to even speak with him without a proper reason out of
fear that it would stir suspicion.

"Yes, if you can find a good reason for it. He is good friends with
Nimroy," Zelanka said. The boys had less than a turns difference in
birthdates.

"I can make a good reason." Find some harper report that talked about
his potential. Shards, he was the Lord Holder, he could _make_ a
report.

Zelanka just nodded quietly.

"Well... If you would speak to him for me, I would appreciate it." And
just like that they had lapsed back into the formal, uncomfortable,
unnatural silence which their relationship had evolved into.

"I will. Is there anything else, sir?" Zelanka asked. She didn't know
what to say and the whole situation was very uncomfortable. She just
wanted touch him so much!

"I think that's all for now." Though he was sure, for better for worse,
their paths now would cross much more often then before.

~*~

Zelanka sighed and strained the herbs out from the water. Fifteen
turns and she had made the office her own. How long she could keep it?
This waiting for conclave's decicion was horrible, the uncertainity.
The new Lord Holder would mean changes. A new Lord Holder might want
to replace her with someone else. Even if the new Lord wanted to keep
her, she wasn't sure she could continue as Headwoman with someone else
occupying that office. it felt wrong somehow, it was HIS office.

Last updated on the March 29th 2009

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Her office, his office