Honour Her

Writers: Ames, Len
Date Posted: 31st July 2011

Characters: Cardella, G'wen
Description: The two best friends just relax and talk about what happened to Rama
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 2, day 26 of Turn 6

Cardella

"Incoming...!" G'wen shouted just before he leapt on Cardella's bed.
He may have been slight but everything on the bed went flying as he
bellyflopped on it, landing right beside his best friend. Deftly
nabbing her book, he tossed it over his shoulder and said, "you can
read that one any old time. Besides, it's pretty easy to figure out
that the brown rider did it and not the Holder, like the writer wants
you to think." He gave her his best cheeky grin and propped his chin
on his hand. "So what d'you think of the new place? Nice, isn't it?"

"Hey!" She called out when G'wen nearly sent everything on her bed
flying. "I was actually enjoying that novel until you spoiled the
ending!" She declared as she swatted at his arm. All the while,
however, she was smiling.

"It's nice. I mean, space to be _alone_ when we want it," she gave him
a comical face at that, then quickly dissolved into giggles, "yet, I
have to admit I do miss having people around all the time. How you
settling in?"

"Do I miss that creepy G'larren gawking at all us green boys whenever
we changed our clothes, is that what you're asking?" he teased her,
delicately shuddering at the thought of the inhibited blue rider.
"Nope, not for a moment. And half the boys snorting so loud you
couldn't hear yourself think, let alone try to go to sleep. What
I_do_miss is Neath being close enough to touch her in the night." Now
the green was almost out of site in her wallow, though she did extend
her tail out to G'wen's bed almost every night, wanting the physical
contact as much as he did. "Were the girls as bad as the boys with
all that?"

"No, it wasn't like that. I mean the girls didn't gawk at each other
that way. Actually, things could be fun sometimes. I mean, Rama..."
Cardella stopped and looked down into her lap for a moment at the
mention of her friend. She was still having a hard time dealing with
the loss and while everyone told her it was just part of being a
rider, they weren't the ones inside her heart, aching for the friend
she'd lost.

"It wasn't that bad," she added a bit weakly, trying to move through
the feelings of loss without falling apart as she'd done far too often
of late.

"No, it wasn't..." G'wen knew the girl was grieving for her friend.
He felt guilty that he hadn't seen her in the last few days. Curling
up alongside her, he asked, "you want to talk about it?"

She shrugged. "I dunno," she sniffled. "I mean, I do, but I don't."
She'd been feeling rather confused since the whole thing happened and
there were times when she wished she could ignore the pain she felt
inside and just try and go about her day, but other times, all she
wanted was to talk about Rama, her feelings and the emptiness she felt
inside.

"I just, well, I've never lost anyone close to me," she leaned into
her friend, needing his support during this time.

"I have," he stated in a plain tone. He wrapped his arms around her
shoulders and gave her a squeeze. "I lost my best friend when she
Impressed back when we were 12. I've lost Jenell, G'har, S'ebn,
Raini...all of my friends growing up. It's only S'vin and Catrien and me left
from our gang. And we just lost a close friend two threadfalls
ago...Wr'ren. One of my foster sisters died in childbirth last
turn...her first baby. And my da's weyrmate before T'bel...he died in
Fall." He shrugged his shoulders. "It's unfortunately a part of life
here, in the Weyr."

Cardella's face fell at his words, though she felt strength from his
hug. "How do you manage to move on? I mean, whether it's part of life
or not, someone is lost, gone. Never coming back. What if one of us is
next?"

"You move on by honoring them, and remembering them every day. With
Rama and Hillith, think about her, talk about her, remember all
the funny things she got herself into. Don't forget her." He gave
her a kiss on the forehead. "And cry. It's okay to be in pain and
get it out. And as far as one of us being next...well, yeah, one of
us could die..one of us or_all_of us could die, probably will die,
soon. But that's part of having one of those." He pointed out to the
ledge where Awenth and Neath were curled up together. "But if we
don't fight thread then all of Pern dies. And if we don't learn
/between/ properly, then likewise, all of Pern dies. So that's just
part of the deal. I wouldn't want to swap lives with any Holder,
would you?"

"I couldn't imagine life without Awenth, or you or any of this now,"
she sniffled, leaning into G'wen, needing his support. "I feel guilty
sometimes when I'm happy, like I shouldn't be having so much fun when
I know Rama can't anymore."

"Well, I can't speak for Rama, but...if something were to happen and
Neath and I die..." he paused at that, hating even the idea of
anything happening to his green. "Well, if you were to sit around and
be depressed about it, I'd be really mad, y'know?" He gave her a mock
snarl and squeezed her hard. "Come on, Rama lived in the moment, she
had a happy full life, everyone here loved her, so don't feel bad.
Don't think about her death, think about her life, y'know? I know..."
He sat up and gave her a mischievous look before grabbing one of her
pillows and thrapping it over her head.

She nearly lost herself when G'wen mentioned dying. Her breath was
caught in her throat as she couldn't possibly bear the thought of
losing him. Thankfully, his change in demeanor drew her out of the
sadness of their talk. She looked at him quizzically and only had a
moment to think before she got smacked upside the head with a pillow.

"Hey!" She said, unable to keep herself from laughing as she, too,
reached for a pillow to repay the favor.

Thrap!! The pillow hit soundly over G'wen's head, and he fell back,
laughing. "O-o-ouch! You play mean!" Well, there was nothing for
it. He abandoned his pillow and grabbed her by the sides, tickling
for all he was worth.

Last updated on the August 3rd 2011

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Honour Her