I Know Best

Writers: AL, Len
Date Posted: 28th September 2011

Characters: Rhosyn, A'shel
Description: Rhosyn and Angshel discuss his goldflight experience-or lack thereof.
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 3, day 16 of Turn 6

The flight was over and Rhosyn had taken her time to come down from
it. Not much had changed, thank Faranth. And so, her mind eventually
came around to Angshel. She knew the boy wouldn't be ready this time,
but how he reacted to the flight would determine if he would be for
the next one. Looking at her dragon, she walked down to the Dining
Cavern to find out where he was.

It didn't take long to spot the apprentice. Making sure he saw her as
she sat down at her table, she crooked a finger for him to come join.

The slender boy gave his friends a quizzical look before standing up
and coming to her table. Why did she call him over at the dinner
hour? He stopped when he got to her table and politely nodded his
head. "Ma'am?"

"Have a sit. Eat what you want." She gestured to the food around and
the empty plate. "So, how are you?"

"I'm good." Though he sat down he didn't bother with the food. There
was a slight undertone in her voice that said to him that she wanted
to ask him something.

"And how did it go?" She asked the question as if he should know what
she was talking about. Rhosyn didn't want to embarrass the lad. She did
need to know, though.

"Uh..." He blanched at that. Was she asking him what he thought she
was asking him? And in front of the entire Weyr as well?

No one else was listening. Her table was removed from the rest so Rhosyn
could have private conversations. "It's okay, I just want to know for me."

"I...uh...I couldn't stay...E'rae took me away." He dropped his head
down, knowing what she was going to say next.

"So you couldn't stand it.." she said to herself, knowing he knew what that
meant. "Well then we'll just have to hope you'll be okay next time."

"I..uh..actually..." He couldn't believe he was about to tell a woman
this. "But I think it may have been a good thing. E'rae...he and I
talked about...about what had happened to me and...I sort of realize
now that I've been blaming myself and what I am on what happened to
me. I mean...I thought on some level it must have been my
fault...that I wanted it and that was being..y'know, like being with a
man would always be like." He could feel the heat coming off his face
as he told the Weyrwoman this. "I think I'm ready to face what and
who I am...now." His voice trailed off at the last word.

Listening, she became curious. So, the flight had done what nothing else
could have. **Good** "I'm glad that you finally realized that, Angshel.
Still, I do want to see if you can get through that sort of experience first. You understand, after what we talked about, right?"

"You mean find a boyfriend, right?"

"Well, I mean I want to know if you can go through the intense feelings
that a flight causes and be okay with waking up next to someone that
you may not know." She knew it might be hard for the boy. "If you can't do
it now, you won't be able to do it with a dragon. You see?"

At that the boy sighed in frustration. "I_already_did it, remember?"
If there was anyone in this bloody Weyr who knew about_that_it would
be him. "And I didn't have to pass out like the riders do. And
besides, why am I being singled out? What about some of the really
young people that you guys allow to go out onto those sands? There
was a 12 turn old boy who came in just the other day and no one's
asking him such private questions about how he might handle being a 15
year old greenrider who's about to have a Flight!"

"Those young people have not had the experience you've had. That's the
difference. Do we talk to them? Yes. My fear is that when you go through
this again, you will relive what you already have and your dragon will see
that and it will inhibit them and harm you both. I will not set you up to fail or see a dragonet harmed." Her voice became just a bit more steely as his own raised.

He deflated under her words. This being in a Weyr and being apprenticed,
it must have gone to his head. He had to remember he was just a drudge,
nothing more. "Y-yes ma'am..." He dropped his gaze down to the table.

"Look, it won't be long before it'll be time again. This is a Pass. They rise more often." Rhosyn did want the kid to succeed.

Angshel just nodded, miserably. He knew what this meant. No chance
at Standing, and no chance of being anything other than a helper for
the other Dragonhealers.

"Angshel, you don't want to end up dragonless. You _don't_." She would
never wish that on anyone.

He blinked at that. "H-how...why would you think I would become dragonless?"

"Young dragons get confused very easily. They are also very emotional and
anything can upset them. If something happened to bring up memories for you
before you could deal with your reaction to it, your dragon could feel that and become confused and perhaps go between because of it." She'd seen it happen every now and again, though it was a rare thing if the young weyrlings were well chosen.

"Oh." He hadn't thought of that.

"So Angshel, you work on what we talked about and I will look forward to putting you out there when you're ready." Rhosyn nodded at the boy, letting him know he could go or ask more questions if he wanted.

"Okay," he said with a sigh.

Last updated on the November 6th 2011

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I Know Best