Sleepless Night Pt 2 of 2

Writers: Chelle, Eimi
Date Posted: 15th February 2012

Characters: Parale, Ioven
Description: Ioven and Parale discuss the problem and more problems arise.
Location: Sunstone Seahold
Date: month 6, day 9 of Turn 6
Notes: Pt 2 of 2

Ioven had let Parale leave. He could tell she was upset, but he just
couldn't figure out for the life of him _why_. Syren had slept with
them before, and it wasn't as if there wasn't enough room in the bed.
How upset was she? Where would she go? When would she come back? He
just didn't know... She was still such a puzzle to him sometimes. And
so he lay awake, his arms wrapped lightly around the little girl in his
bed, but with an ear always listening for the sound of the door to their
quarters opening. When he finally heard it, he carefully extricated
himself and tiptoed back out of the room, blinking in the brightness of
the main room. "You're back?"

"Mmmmm.." She grunted. She was still rather angry, but she was more
sleepy than anything else. Parale walked back inside and moved around
her workroom, pulling a blanket out of the cabinet and a pillow, clearly
meaning to make up the settee for herself.

"There is plenty of room in the bed, you know. Syren is just a little
five-turn-old," he said, attempting to sound casual. "No need to dirty a
blanket."

"I don't mind to wash it." Removing her kerchief from her hair, she
took off her shoes and overtunic, sitting on the settee and folding her
clothes to set them aside.

She was acting ridiculous. Childish even. "Look, you are not sleeping
here tonight. I don't want to have to explain to the girls why you are
not sleeping in your own bed. They don't need to be pulled into our
problems. Now just what _is_ the problem?"

"The problem is that she doesn?t need to be sleeping with the both of
us." She didn't have a lot of power left, but this was one thing she
could do for herself to have control. "I'll be awake before they will, so
you don't have to worry about that." After she had finished setting out the
blankets, she pulled herself onto the furniture and laid her head down.
She was tired, angry, and she didn't want to talk to him particularly
right then.

"Parale, I said _no_. I am _still_ the man in this family, you know."
Ioven reached for the blanket. "You can't just throw a tantrum like a
two-turn-old when you don't agree with something or this will make for
a very miserable marriage."

"I am not throwing a tantrum. I am letting you know that if you plan to
end everything with I-am-the-man-and-what-I-say-is-right, then this
isn't a partnership. We are going to disagree like right now. However,
instead of compromising, you just said this is what it is and nothing
else." She moved her blanket out of his reach. "And there are going to
be times when I don't want to be around you, like now, when you do or
say something I think is stupid."

In the back of her mind, she wondered if Narys had allowed herself to be
completely dominated by Ioven. Parale was a dutiful holder and she
believed in the husband's right to provide, but she understood from her
mother that it was the wife's right to demand safety and security so
they could run the home. Her father had never had anything to do with
the raising of his children. He worked. Her mother had been the head of
the household with regards to the children, the chores, and how things
got done. To Parale, Ioven was trying to usurp her position.

"And the worst thing you can do in a marriage is boil an argument down
to 'you're being stupid'," he said very carefully, trying not to lose
his temper completely. Ioven tried to remind himself that was a lesson
he and Narys had to learn, and had enough love and respect for each
other that they had been a quick study on that point. "Just because I
disagree with you does not make me 'stupid' and I would thank you to be
a bit more careful in your choice of words. I am not completely
helpless when it comes to raising my own children. I have been doing it
on my own for quite some time now, and I dare say I've done a decent
enough job of it."

"I've been helping to raise children since I was about seven. I was
responsible for helping the younger ones get dressed, fed, and so on.
Our father did his duty-he worked and made sure we had what we needed.
Mother was the one that was there for us, made sure we did our chores,
and decided what we needed. I know you have been doing this on your own
and you have been doing well. Yes you've known your children longer than
I have. However, it seems sometimes Ioven, you forget that I know more
about raising children than you do.?

"You were married before, but I am a different woman. Clearly what I
think about a marriage and even what I want from a husband is different
than perhaps, what she wanted. What I think of as being a mother is also
different apparently. I love the girls, but they can?t always have their
way." Lying back on the settee, she was trying so hard not to cry.

"Narys is not here, and I don't expect you to be her." No one could be
her. "I'm sorry that you feel that I don't trust you, but that is
definitely not the case. Those girls are my life, and I have put them
in your hands. Do you have any idea how much trust that takes?"

He sat down on the chair, feeling some of his temper abate now that they
seemed to be getting down to the heart of the matter. "Look, I know
what kind of father you're talking about. My father worked, too.
That's all he ever did. I hardly knew him until I apprenticed to his
craft, and then I knew him as much as my Master as my father. I don't
want to be that kind of father. I _like_ that my girls want to be with
me. I like that Syren wants to sleep with me from time to time. Venrys
did, too, but as you can see, she grew out of it. And soon, Syren will
too. So she wants to sleep with us from time to time. She wants to be
with us. What's the harm in it?"

"I don't want you to be completely out of their lives. I think it's good
for them to have a male figure to look to.? She switched from that line
of talking to answer his question. "Let me tell you a story. Ridero and
Dradi had a small child-a girl child. They let her crawl into bed with
them from time to time, not thinking it would make a difference. She got
older. One night, she had a nightmare and she crawled into bed while
her parents were sleeping. Her father woke, not realizing who it was
that was there. He moved to grab her, thinking he was grabbing Dradi. By
the time he realized what he was doing, which was made all the worse
because he had a habit of sleeping without clothing, it of course caused
all sorts of questions from the child." Parale frowned, recounting the
story. "At least he caught himself before any real harm was done."

"Well, just as you are not Narys, I am not Dradi or anyone else you may
know. And I was not trained to be a father. I had to learn how to be
one, sometimes in very hard and painful ways. I did not have these
children with Narys thinking that I would one day have to figure out how
to do it all on my own. But life does not always follow training. If
it did, it would have been _I_ who died, not her." And how many nights
had he believed that should have been the case. "I cannot be only a
father who works. And you have to admit, I have supported you in most
things. But I need some say in my children's lives. I have been their
sole parent for too long to just hand them over to someone else to
raise. This may not be the kind of family you were trained for, Parale,
but this is the family we are."

"I want you to have some say in their lives. This is a problem, though.
A girl of her turns does not need to be making a habit of sleeping with
her parents. In the last two months, it's happened four times now. I
think you need to find out why she's doing it because there has to be
a better way to solve whatever that problem is than letting her crawl
into bed with us." She knew that it might just get worse as Syren got
older and that would not be good.

"_Only_ four times in two months," he pointed out. "Before we were
married, she could crawl in with me any time, and so could Venrys.
Venrys grew out of it around six turns, and I'm sure Syren will, too. I
think she's shown remarkable restraint, really."

"We've been married for quite some time now. It's gotten worse recently.
Why? I think that we need to talk with her about this and find out
what's really going on." Parale was quite matter of fact about it. A
progression usually meant something.

"Yes, of course, we can talk to her about it, but I don't see this as a
terrible problem. This isn't a nightly habit, not even a weekly
one. It's a phase. That's all." Why she saw this as such a big deal,
he really could not understand.

Yawning, she nodded when he agreed to talk about it then she proceeded
to stretch out on the settee, putting a blanket around herself. It had
been a long day and she was tired and just wanted rest.

It seemed it was settled. Finally they could get some rest. "Now, come
to bed. I'll put the blankets and pillows away."

"If you want to sleep with her, you can. I'm going to be out here." It
wasn't said in a mean way, just resolutely.

"All right," he said with a sigh, throwing up his hands in resignation.
"If you are determined to sleep here tonight, then so be it. It can be
your bed until arrangements can be made to bring another bed into the
spare bedroom and then that will become my bedroom and you can have
that one back."

That made her think for a minute. Then, her lips became a thin line as
she considered just what he was saying. "You would do that now?" Her
eyes looked into his face, calculating as she tried to figure out the
response he'd given.

"I would rather do it now than spend a lifetime with the threat of your
abandoning my bed always hanging over my head. I understand that
sharing a bed is not always fun, especially after a disagreement, but
when sharing a bed and sharing marital pleasures becomes a lever to
be used to punish or reward, it can only lead to misery and doubt."
Especially when it was used over so small and petty a disagreement.
What would she do if it was a major disagreement? What would she
threaten him with then? "I would much rather you sleep in our bed
your back turned on me, for you to not speak to me, for you to kick
me in your sleep even, than to always live in fear of what kind of
retaliation I am to expect when I take a position contrary to yours."

"I'm not threatening anything. I will be right back in it tomorrow
evening. I would sleep there tonight if there wasn't a small girl in it.
If you want me to be in it, but you want to sleep with her, then sleep
with her in _her_ bed." She was really getting tired at this point and she
had to be up early. Parale's eyes were closing without her thinking about
it. She was struggling hard. "I would just like to get some rest. You're
the one making threats, saying you're going to move into another bedroom."

"You have slept in the bed four times already with Syren in it. She
doesn't take up that much space. You are only sleeping out here because
you did not get your way." Faranth knew he had let her have her way in
most cases up until now, and he was beginning to wonder if he had not
indulged her too much from the start. "I've said what I will say on the
subject. Either you will come to our bed, or I will make arrangements
for a bed of my own where my children can go and be no bother to you."

Just when she thought things were going so well, he had to go and ruin
it all. "I just want you to know. I will do my duty and obey you and I
will go in there if you leave me no choice-but things will change. Things
will never be what they are now." So tired, she no longer wanted to argue,
but she also wanted him to know what he was doing. He was choosing
how things were going to be.

Ioven threw his arms up once more in helpless frustration, a gesture he
seemed to be perfecting since being married to this woman who made very
little sense to him. Here, yet again, she acted as if she were the
great martyr. "What more do you want from me? Since our marriage I
have done everything I can to provide you with every comfort. I have
provided all you have asked me for and I have done so without complaint.
I have asked very little from you, and I have demanded even less. I
think I have been more than reasonable, and I have tried to be more than
just kind. I put my foot down and I want one thing, that our bed would
not be used as a battleground, and on that I will not compromise. But
you give into this request most reluctantly. If I am such an
unreasonable, intolerable brute in your eyes, perhaps it is best that
you take a moment and think about what you really want before you decide
to come off that sofa. I have sworn to take care and provide for you,
and I will continue to do so out of gratitude for your care of my girls
whether we share a bed or not. I married you to be a mother to my
children. Being a wife to me is completely up to you." Enough. They
could go round and round all night in this way. His feelings on the
subject were known. Now it was up to her to decide what she would do.
He turned on his heel and walked back towards his bedroom, not at all
sure what the outcome would be, but he was sure it was better to have it
out now than to live without having a cloud of doubt over his head.

She watched him go and she looked down at her hands. They were shaking
slightly, though whether from fatigue or the situation, she didn't know.
All her life she had been taught to be a proper holder, to marry, have
children, and support her husband. Her parents had had respect for one
another. He was angry-she knew that. He felt he had done enough. She put
her hands in her lap, knowing whatever choice she made would affect her
future.

**I don't want to go in there. I don't want him to touch me. I don't want
to look at him. If I stay out here, though, then I won't have a chance at a
future with any sort of happiness. We'll pass each other and go on.**
Feeling very small, she looked at the walls of the room and remembered
the first day when she had picked this place. A happy smile had suffused her cheeks.

**I don't have anywhere else to go. I can't leave the girls. Oh Faranth...**
Parale had not had other relationships to learn with. The only examples
she had to follow were her parents and others of the Hold. Those people
were familiar. Placing her hands on her thighs, she rubbed them for a few
minutes, watching the movements. **He doesn't love me. He probably won't
ever even though I was trying so hard. So why should I keep trying? I'll
just give him what he wants-someone to raise the girls-and no more. He says
being a wife is up to me so he obviously doesn't care.**

That hurt. All these months of living under the same roof and trying to
please him and at the first real sign of disagreement, he had just given up
and effectively slapped her in the face as if her efforts meant nothing.
**I might just be a simple holder girl that didn't have any marriage prospects
but I'm not worthless.** Pulling the blanket around her, as if it was her
dignity, she curled into a small ball on the settee and tried to stop the
feelings that threatened to overwhelm her. At the last, before she fell asleep,
she thought quietly to herself **Mother, I wish you were here**.

Last updated on the February 16th 2012

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Sleepless Night Pt 2 of 2