Mending Fences

Writers: Ames, Chelle
Date Posted: 13th May 2013

Characters: Sarban, Lisadi
Description: Lisadi comes to see Sarban and they get everything in the open.
Location: Emerald Falls Hold
Date: month 13, day 4 of Turn 6
Notes: Mentioned: Corowal, Miranek

Lisadi sighed. She was happy to be back in Emerald Falls. This
place
felt like her home unlike no other. Her fingers reached up and
touched
the necklace and gemstone she was wearing. It was one of the
first
times she'd dared to wear her great-aunt's jewelry around. The old
lady
had been odd, that was for sure. She'd spent so much time alone,
her
thoughts consumed by the hidden wealth of the family. Lisadi did
_not_
want to end up like her. She'd already lost one husband and the
hope
for her future then, and thought she'd lost it again after
her
injuries. Now she vowed she _would_ make the most of her life,
no
matter what it took.

The children were doing well, still uncertain
of things with her at
times, but they were settling back into their routine.
She and Sarban
spoke as often as they could, though she knew she had hurt
him, had
broken the trust they'd shared. She wasn't sure why the thought of
the
family wealth had intrigued her so much that she'd left behind
what
had been a promising future. Now, all she wished for was that
she
could turn back time and make a different choice.

**Life is what
we make of it,** she thought. She couldn't change the
past, but she could
work on the present and hopefully shape her
future.

With a firm nod of
her head, she headed to his office. Raising her
hand, she knocked. She knew
she shouldn't intrude, but she wasn't
going to let her life pass her by any
longer. From here on out, Lisadi
was taking the reigns of her life in her
hand and driving herself to
what she hoped was a brighter, better
future.

His head came up at the knock, wondering who it was. Sarban had
been
dealing with the aftermath of a trading caravan that had come
through.
Now they had to balance the purchases made for supplies as well as
get
the things distributed and stored. "Aye?"

She opened the door.
"Good day, Sarban." Then she stood there. Silent
and feeling rather foolish.
**Why did you come here and interrupt his
work? Now he'll just think you a
fool.** She had seen the mass of
hides sitting around him in her first glance
at his desk.

"I'm sorry if I'm interrupting. I just wanted to talk to
you." **Now
that sounded pathetic,** she rebuked herself silently.

He
looked at what he had left to do then he looked at her and a subtle
change
came into his face. Leaning back, he set the stylus down. "What did
you need
to talk about?" The seat in front of him was open.

She took the cue and
moved to the seat to join him. Smiling in his
direction, she stilled her
racing heart.

Breathing in, she started to speak. "I went and spoke with
Master
Miranek. He was most helpful and recommended I work with a healer
who
specializes in massage and physical therapy." She knew that wasn't
the
real reason for her coming, but she wanted to let him know that
she
_had_ taken his advice and sought help. "It does, however, look
like
my injuries will always be a part of me, but hopefully with this
help,
they will pain me less."

"That's a good thing for the hardship
to be less for you and I'm glad you
went to see Miranek." He shuffled a
paperweight around on his desk as
he felt the awkwardness in the room. "Look,
I know you have been getting
used to being back here again. Me..I'm still
getting used to the idea of you
being back here again too. And to be
honest...when you left, I felt like you
were breaking your promise. You left
me." There-it was out in the open.

The words hurt, but she knew they
would. He was right. She had been a fool.
Taking a shaky breath, she nodded
her head. "You're right Sarban. I
did. Saying my apologies for that will
never make up for the hurt I've
caused." She let out her breath again. "I
_did_ leave because of the
message from my great-aunt, but there _was_ more.
I felt afraid. I
wasn't even sure what it was, but being away and having time
to
reflect. I know now." She swallowed with difficulty. "I had
loved
Burned, my first husband, very much, yet he was taken from me. As
we
grew closer, I wanted us to be together, to have a life together,
and
then, I was afraid of losing you the way I had lost him." She
lowered
her head, and shook it before raising it and setting her
shoulders
back. "I know it was a silly fear, and I cannot control life
and
death, but I didn't know if I could bring myself to love someone
and
know I would lose them again."

"Now, well, now I'm afraid it may
be too late." She looked at him. "I
ruined what we had with my fears and by
leaving. I would understand if
you didn't want me around anymore. I can't say
I would leave, as
Emerald Falls is a place I have come to love, but," and
here she drew
in a shaky breath, "I can stay away if you need me to. I don't
want to
hurt you more. I fear I did exactly what I was afraid of by leaving.
I
may have lost the person I could love," she swallowed with
difficulty,
but she still looked at him, her eyes glistening with unshed
tears.

Like most men of his ilk, he wasn't exactly immune to female
tears. He
handed her a handkerchief quickly. "But that's just it-when you're
married
you have to work through those sorts of things. You never spoke to me
about
it, nothing. You just left. If every time you're afraid of
something-you leave-then
where does that leave your family?" Sarban had
stayed on land to care for
his mother and then to help Corowal-he would
never desert his family.

"Thank you," Lisadi accepted the handkerchief.
She listened to his
words and nodded. "I understand, and I do apologize for
what happened.
I cannot explain away the past any more than I already have,
and I
would totally understand if you didn't trust me enough to
move
forward. But _I_ would not be satisfied unless I tried to earn
back
that trust with you. I learned alot about myself while at
Aunt-Htaru's
Hold. I am _not_ the same person who left here. I wish I could
turn
back time itself, but since I cannot, all I can do is press
forward
and work towards a future worth holding onto, and I assure you,
from
this moment forward, I _will_ hold onto that future when it
is
presented to me." Lisadi looked at him. Her eyes still moist but
also
showing a strong determination that hadn't been there before.
She
_had_ changed, and for the better while she was away.

"I'm willing
to work on it, but to be honest I don't know what to do or how.
You were the
first woman..." And obviously that hadn't gone well. So Sarban
was at a loss
at how to deal with females. "Well I don't trust myself at all
to make
the right decision."

She gave him a slight smile. "All I needed to hear
Sarban was that you
are willing to work on it with me. I don't know how to
bridge the
trust I've broken, but I _will_ do what it takes. I was a fool to
walk
away even for a short time. I knew it the moment I left, but then
I
didn't know how to turn back without fulfilling the duty I'd
promised."
Lisadi sighed slightly. "Again, the past is the past. How
do we move forward
now?"

"I believe it would be a good start to just get to know each other
again
because..well as you said you have changed so now I don't even
feel I know who you
are." He was playing with the paperweight again
without thinking about it.

"That sounds fair." Lisadi didn't feel that
she needed to get to know
him the same way, but then again, she _had_ been
away for awhile, she
didn't know what had happened to him during that time.
"Would you care
to have dinner with me one night soon? We could talk and see
if we can
get to know each other again."

"Mmm...sure." It was going to
be strange eating like that again with a
family, besides Corowal's. The
children would be there after all. He wondered how
they were doing
actually.

"That would be great. When are you free?" Lisadi was happy he
was at
least willing to try again. She smiled at him, hoping things
would
work out between them the way they had in the past.

He looked
down at his calendar and pointed to a day. "I think that will work
barring
any emergencies."

She checked the date and smiled. "I look forward to
it."

Last updated on the May 31st 2013

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Mending Fences