Why the Long Face

Writers: Ames, Chelle
Date Posted: 14th July 2013

Characters: Rhosyn, Gelira
Description: The Weyrwoman cheers up a certain candidate.
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 2, day 25 of Turn 7
Notes: Mentioned: K'sedel

Her heart was heavy. She had watched the joyous expressions on the
faces of those who had Impressed, but such was not to be for her. Once
again, Gelira had been left on the Sands. She _wanted_ to Impress,
more than anything now, but each time she'd Stood on the hot sands and
watched the eggs rocked, she'd left alone and disappointed.

**What's wrong with me?** Gelira wondered sorrowfully. **Why do the
others get chosen and not me?** She hated the looks some people
cast her way now, as though they felt sorry for her. She would be like
some old maid. The only one left standing Turn after Turn that no
one wanted.

Of course she had seen those that had not managed to get an egg. For some
it wasn't as disappointing as it was for others. Rhosyn saw one face she
knew well, though, and she couldn't help but go to find the candidate.
Coming up behind her before she had to stand with K'sedel for greetings, the Weyrwoman
put her hand on Gelira's shoulder. "It wasn't your time."

She turned, startled, swiping at the corner of her eye. "Rhosyn," she
greeted her. "I know. I know that's the case, but it's still hard. I
mean I _want_ to Impress so badly, and I don't understand why I'm not
being chosen. Makes me wonder if the dragons know something about me
that even I don't realize." **Something bad,** she added silently,
feeling that pull of unhappiness once more.

"Gelira, you're Weyrbred so you know better than I do that only your dragon
will choose you. So if your egg isn't there, you wait. I know it's hard but
all you can do is be ready when the time comes." She looked quietly at the other
girl, judging her and choosing what to say. "You'll make a fine rider. You know it,
I know it, the Weyr knows it. So in the meantime, learn all you can."

Gelira sighed. She _knew_ exactly what Rhosyn was telling her, had
even been telling herself the same thing, but still a part of her
ached for the chance to walk off those Sands with a dragon by her
side.

"I know," she replied softly, "but it's still hard to be left standing
there, time after time. I'm beginning to think I will need to choose a
new path for myself. I won't be able to further study dragonhealing
if I never Impress." Her face showed her sadness. It didn't glow with
the joy and happiness she had felt these past months. Instead it was
though a mantle of darkness had been pulled over her, and she couldn't
shake it away.

"I understand that you'll have to consider another craft if you don't
Impress but you have plenty of turns left to Impress, Gelira. It's not time to
even begin to worry about that yet." Rhosyn didn't bother mentioning she had good blood
in her. Things like that didn't matter much to Weyrfolk.

She sighed, swallowing back the feelings that had washed over her
again and again since the Hatching.

"I keep telling myself those same things," she said, turning and
looking at the Weyrwoman. Though she tried not to show it, her eyes
held the shadow of sadness within them that was unmistakable. "I know
the dragons choose. I realize my dragon hasn't come yet, but it's
_hard_ to watch people come here to the Weyr, Stand, and seemingly
Impress with ease. Yet, find for whatever reason no dragon yet has
chosen me." She breathed back what almost sounded like a sob. "I'm
sorry," she murmured, ducking her head to try and gain control over
herself. She didn't want to appear weak, but she felt as though her
heart was breaking. Could she keep doing this Turn after Turn until
she aged out of chances? The very thought made her heart break.

"Do I have to point out you weren't the only one left Standing?
And there are others who have been Standing for turns left. Did you see
Calod? One thing, though, to learn-a good goldrider never wallows. There's
too much to do. So you can feel sorry for yourself today if you need to, but tomorrow-you
better be back at your duties and ready to try again." Rhosyn's voice was
lilting as she gave that advice. Gelira needed to think about others.
Another part of running a Weyr-to put them before yourself.

The tone of Rhosyn's voice seemed to draw Gelira out of her reprieve.
She didn't want to disappoint Rhosyn, who'd already taught her so
many things in recent days. Her words gave Gelira hope once more,
though they also caused her to pause.

"A goldrider?" She turned quizzical eyes to Rhosyn. "I don't expect
anything like _that_ to happen. Besides we haven't had a new gold egg
on the Sands in quite some time." While Gelira had secretly _wished_
for such a thing, she hadn't openly discussed those feelings. She
would be so happy if a green dragon chose her, just like her mother
had before her. She expressed those words to Rhosyn, "My mother
was a greenrider. I just hope I get the chance to follow her
footsteps." Dreaming of a gold dragon would not help her Impress, and she
knew it.

"The egg will come when it is needed." Of course she was ready for it to
come now, but Rhosyn had other things to worry about. "You'll be a rider,
Gelira. You will." Her conviction was strong. And everyone knew that Rhosyn usually got her
way. Of course she hadn't managed to get Briata to Stand yet, but she hadn't given
up on that one either.

Gelira took heart at Rhosyn's words. The conviction she heard in the
Weyrwoman's voice gave Gelira the strength and courage to continue on.

"Thank you," she replied. "I really needed that." **More than you
know,** she added silently. "I won't give up. I promise. And I _won't_
wallow." Finally, she gave a real smile towards Rhosyn at those words
recalling what she'd said about _goldriders_ not wallowing.

Last updated on the July 31st 2013

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Why the Long Face