Uncomfortable Conversation

Writers: Chelle, Miriah
Date Posted: 4th November 2013

Characters: Bahji, E'rae, Bartona
Description: Bahji and E'rae have an uncomfortable talk
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 3, day 22 of Turn 7

It was restday so he didn?t have to worry about Fall or duties beyond the
normal dragon things. E?rae had changed into a comfortable tunic and
trousers before heading down to the Infirmary. Maybe he could bring her some
food or even carry her out to get some sun, if they would let him. **Hope
she?s better today**

He hadn?t heard anything about whether or not the Weyrleaders had caught the
person, but he hoped they were close. Walking through the Infirmary, he
ignored the woman near Bahji, thinking she was a nurse or something before
he walked up to the sleeping form and bent down to whisper in her ear.

Cool and interested eyes watched as the man approached. Bahji had had
several visitors but this one was new. As he bent, Bartona?s brows flashed
upwards and she rose from her chair, taking the hide she had been reading
and promptly rolled it to thump the rider on the arm firmly. ?She?s
sleeping.? Her arms crossed over her arms as she flicked her eyes over the
rider, taking him in with a measuring gaze.

"Well I know that. I meant to wake her." E'rae thought that was obvious. The
bluerider didn't take offense to the nurse's protectiveness. It was good
that she was taking care of Bahji.

Bartona's brow rose and her arms crossed over her chest as she looked him
over once again. She strode around the bed, placed her hands on her hips and
stared up at the man with dark eyes, direct and but alike to her daughter's.
"Are you him? Are you E'rae?"

"My name is E'rae yes, rider of blue Leith. Is there something she needs?"
He was confused. Most of the women in the Infirmary knew him by now.

Not in the least intimidated by his greater height, the little woman faced
him, her head craning up to stare up at him and then poked him squarely in
the chest. "You got my daughter with child." Her eyes narrowed. "You and I
need to have a chat."

"Indeed I did." Then a shadow crossed his face. "But not anymore." And then
he latched onto the word. "Daughter? Oh.... Well hello." He did look
slightly embarrassed when he figured out she wasn't the nurse. Then he
wondered something else. "How did you get here?"

There was a flash of grief in her eyes, but Bartona sucked in a breath and
crossed her arms over her chest. "Bahji's friend U'das brought me." She
shook her head. "But that's not what's important." She drummed her fingers
over her biceps, not taking her gaze off of the younger man. "I'm fully
aware that matters here at the Weyr are different from home, but I have one
question for you, E'rae, rider of Leith. Do you care at all for my child or
is she just a woman you bedded?"

She was quite direct. **Since when does Bahji know U'das?** Changing his
attention back to the woman before him, he almost reverted back to his
holder days. He was the man-she had no right to question him about his
private life and what he did with it. Turns of having Leith inside his head,
though, had changed that part of him. "If I didn't, I wouldn't be here now."

Her eyes narrowed. "If I believe any differently, you can believe that I
will take that bed pan over there and feed you your parts in it."

There was a soft sleepy sigh and a murmur. "Momma? Who are you threatening
now? "

"Don't worry about it. She doesn't scare me. After all, Leith would eat her
if she tried." E'rae tried to sound nonchalant about the whole thing since
he really didn't fear the little woman but he didn't want to hurt her
feelings. As it was, though, he was now facing the woman in the bed who was
awake. "Before I met her, though, I was actually going to find out if you
wanted some sun."

Bartona was about to give a sharp reply before Bahji gave a strained laugh.
"Oh, E'rae... My mother would bite back."

Her mother relaxed and moved back to her chair with a soft chuckle. "At
least he's not a weakling. I like him." She settled back primly, smoothing
her skirts over her knees as Bahji cleared her throat and blushed.

"Sun?" Bahji's face brightened. "Out of the infirmary and fresh air? Yes."
She pushed herself up on her good arm and with slight effort, swung both
feet over the side of the bed. She stretched down with her good foot, her
other ankle held out in a cast, to feel for the floor. Bartona rose, hand
outstretched to catch, just in case.

"Actually, I had this in mind." He wasn't going to make her walk that far.
Moving in front of her, he bent down and positioned himself. Putting her arm
around his neck, he made easy work of it thanks to dragonrider muscles.
Picking Bahji up, he made his way out of the infirmary.

"Oh!" Her breath caught as she was lifted and arms instinctively tightened
around his neck to hold on to him. It was a light but firm grip, and she was
momentarily off balance by the sudden weightlessness of the position. But
the warm comfort of him and the familiarity of his scent made her instantly
relax against him, her head resting against his shoulder. "Thank you."

It had been a long time since he had been able to carry her like that. Now
that she wasn't so heavy, he could. He hated to be reminded why, but he
pushed that thought aside as he brought her out into the Bowl and into the
sun. Finding an empty seat someone had dragged out near the shade of a
ledge, he put her into it and pulled her into the sun. "There now." He
almost remembered to see if her mother had followed them.

Her mother, discreet and knowing that the pair would likely want privacy,
had not followed and as Bahji sighed at the warmth of the sun, she relaxed.
Her head turned towards E'rae. "Thank you for thinking of this." Her smile
was gentle. "I think it's the best birthingday present I could have gotten."

"Birthingday?" He tried to hide his surprise, but it was clear he hadn't
known. Then again, this was the first one of hers he'd been around for. "Ah
well you're welcome I guess." He scratched his head before smiling and
settling down beside her in the sand. "Why did U'das bring your mother
here?" After the whole thing with her father, E'rae wasn't too sure he liked
the idea of her family being around.

"Yes. I didn't realize until my mother reminded me this morning." Though
there was still grief in her eyes, it was mingled more with acceptance and
the slight wistfulness of longing. "She brought me my old dragon stuffie. It
meant more than anything she could have bought with marks. Just like this
does." She blinked and stretched a hand towards him, searching until she
found his shoulder and her hand lay lightly upon it. She took some measure
of comfort in the familiarity of his presence and feel of his muscle beneath
her fingers. "U'das came to visit me and I suppose..." she sighed. "I broke
down, E'rae...I needed her and he went to get her. I was grateful."

"So you wanted her here." He didn't remark on the fact that she could have
just asked him and he would have retrieved the woman. "So she isn't..like
your father?" That was his main concern.

"Yes, but I felt so childish and I didn't expect him to do that for me.
U'das is a good friend." She smiled warmly at the memory and then frowned,
tilting her head towards E'rae before she sighed and spoke softly. "No. She
is not. My father..." She struggled to explain. "My father had never struck
me before, had never even considered striking my mother. He'd always been so
gentle. I don't know what happened." She shivered at the memory. "I did ask
my mother about it." Her lips curled upwards. "She was not happy with him
and simply said that her skillet has a new dent in it from his hard head. I
think it troubles her more than it troubled you or me."

That remained to be seen. E'rae would wait and judge the woman on his own
terms. If it made Bahji happy to have her here, though, then she could stay
for now. "How long will she be here?"

"Until I'm able to walk on my own. The healers said I could start using a
crutch in a few days, but to keep close to my quarters and not go anywhere
that I don't know very well." And certainly no stairs; that was a given.
Besides, being in the infirmary with nothing to do was driving her mad. At
least in the weavery, she could do something, keep her mind off of
....things. "So, maybe until the end of the sevenday. She can't be gone
long."

"Okay." So that meant she would be in her own quarters for a time. She
couldn?t be in his weyr with it being so high up when he wasn't there. "Are
you okay with all this? I mean...I know it's hard and it was something we
were looking forward to. But I'm just glad you're okay." He left the floor
open for her to share her feelings.

She was silent for a long moment before sucking in her lower lip. "Am I
okay?" She swallowed. "Not completely. I...I wanted your child, E'rae. Our
child. And it was stolen and I don't know why." She bit her lip and her head
lowered. "And I want to know why. E'rae, I've always tried to treat people
the way I want to be treated. I'm not cruel or mean to anyone. I just
wanted to be happy." Her voice softened. "Was that too much to ask?"

"I don't know why someone would want to hurt you like that either. Or me
even. I would never...it's just something you don't do to a woman, a child..
Whoever it was, they deserve far worse." His anger flashed then, coming
through his usually calm exterior. "I worry though now...about your safety.
I mean... you could be so easily hurt."

Bahji blinked, unused to any flash of intense emotion from him. But it
let her know that he did feel strongly about this, that he didn't
always hide what he was feeling. Her attention was drawn back to his
next words and she frowned. "E'rae, I'm blind. I know I'm more
vulnerable than most, even at the Hold. I should have had Burst with
me, but he is young and was still sleeping." She let him go and leaned
back in her chair, her stomach twisting slightly. "But I'd be just as
vulnerable at my home, E'rae."

"I guess that's true." It was a choice he had to make. Could he accept the
limitations imposed upon her by her disability? The increased vulnerability
was one of those. "Not if you had friends-someone to walk with-someone to
watch for you." And the frustration in his voice was clear-that was
something he couldn't do. His first priority had to be to Leith and the
Weyr. He couldn't be there for her.

At that she frowned and turned towards him. "I came to the Weyr to be more
independent, E'rae. I do not need a creche worker with me. " She took a deep
breath, noting his frustration and tried to remain soothing, but there was
frustration in her voice as well. "I have friends, E'rae. And many of them
are riders, like yourself, who are faced with more dangers than me with each
Fall. You are all in more danger than I am. I'll simply be more careful
where I step and have Burst with me."

"I'm not saying you need a sitter...." He looked up and tried to think
things over. "Bahji, if there was another child, how would you care for it?
Would you see it if it fell? Or picked up something sharp?" His mind was
racing with all of these thoughts. "You are in danger now, but what if you
put your own child in danger because of your limits? Could Burst do all of
that?" He didn't know. He wasn't very familiar with firelizards.

Bahji went very quiet and her hands gripped her seat tightly as she mentally
recoiled from everything that E'rae was saying. He didn't think she was
capable...It was like a stab in her gut. Why was he bringing all of this up
now? On this day? Blinking sudden tears back, she bit her lower lip and
turned her face away. She was not helpless! She didn't answer him, but took
a deep breath, closing her eyes. It took several long moments before a
sudden flash of anger reared up from her belly. She was not helpless. She
had fallen, true...she had lost something precious, but not because of a
mistake on her part, but it felt as though he was giving the blame to her
because of her lack of sight. Did he think her less because she couldn't
see? The thought hurt. "I'd like to go inside now, please."

He heard the upset note in her voice, which he had hoped to avoid. E'rae was
too used to speaking with other men. They didn't react emotionally most of
the time. This was something he felt like they needed to talk about though.
Breathing a bit heavy before looking up into the sunlight. "I'll leave you
alone if it's what you want and the healers will bring you back in. I
just..it's just something that came into my mind. And I don't know. I've
never been around someone like you before now. I don't know what you can and
can't do. But...I have a duty to protect you and a child..if there is ever
one again. And I need to know how. I failed Bahji. I failed you and that
baby."

}:Please don't be angry:{ Leith pleaded, not enjoying the thoughts that were
roiling through the usually calm bluerider's mind. The truth was, E'rae was
grieving. He didn't have anyone to support him through this time except his
dragon and the blue didn't understand.

"Someone like me..." Her voice trailed off as her fingers flexed slightly on
the chair. Her lips twitched and she tried desperately to keep my voice
calm. "What I can do....I can run a household, like I was taught to do. I
can weave on a loom, just by touch. I can do anything anyone with sight can
do, E'rae." Her voice became stronger and a bit sharp. "People with sight
fall downstairs. They can be tripped too, especially if they are distracted
like I was. People with sight can have accidents; they can sometimes not be
able to protect themselves. Stop treating me or thinking I am less than
someone with sight, because I'm certainly not."

Her face turned towards him. "You can protect me as much as you can protect
anyone else, E'rae. But not by blaming me, or blaming yourself." A tear slid
down her face, unnoticed in her growing upset. " We didn't fail, we were
stolen from. There's a difference. And if you don't think I can take care
of a child and you don't believe that I am capable, then I'll speak to Reeva
and take that tea they give the weyrlings. It won't happen again."

"Would you be ready if it did?" That was an honest question and it was said
very quietly. Of course E'rae knew with her current injuries she would have
to heal before they even thought about sleeping together, but he didn't know
if he would be emotionally okay about this for some time anyway and he
didn't know if she would.

She responded honestly and her lower lip trembled. "Right now? No. I
wouldn't be. I'm not ready to even think about that. But in the future, yes.
But not with someone who didn't believe I could do it."

"I think I want to know you more before that day comes." That was true
enough. They hadn't been together long before she had gotten pregnant and
this experience proved that E'rae really didn't know Bahji that well. But he
was willing to try.

She nodded. "Perhaps that would be a good idea."

Last updated on the November 21st 2013

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

Uncomfortable Conversation