Mutual Pain

Writers: AL, Suzee
Date Posted: 13th July 2014

Characters: Kaya, Loella
Description: The two bond over their mutual losses.
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 7, day 23 of Turn 7

Loella

It had been two weeks since her miscarriage and Loella thought it
would be good to get out of the house and get the things she needed to
make their dinner tonight. Her mother and Karhal's had been bringing
them food each day and she felt bad for that. Though it had been their
way of dealing with the loss of their grandson.

Up until now she'd wanted to hide and deal with her own pain in her
own way but she realized it was time to venture out and Karhal had
gone to meet with the guards so she had the opportunity without him
hovering.

She dressed warmly, swirled on her cloak against the chill and picked
up her shopping basket.

The road to the market wasn't long, but it offered a brief few moments
of reflection. Loella was not the only one with things on her mind
and it was with a distracted air that Kaya took to that road. As
timing would have it, she drew up to the crossroad just as Loella did.
Kaya inclined her head to the woman. She was familiar with the face,
had attended the wedding, but for the most part, Loella was a almost a
stranger.

"Hello," Loella greeted the Steward's wife, though her smile didn't
reach her eyes.

"Hello Loella." News travelled quickly in a Hold, especially when it
was in regards to people of rank. While not at the top most of the
social ladder, the Captain of the Guard and his wife were considered
gossip worthy none the less. Wirnan also had worked with him as
Steward and word of the loss of their child on the heels of the attack
on Karhal was known by everyone. "How are you doing?" Kaya queried
hesitantly. She knew the ache of losing a child and wanted to be
careful not to stir up painful memories. Even so simple a question
could have a more profound affect upon someone after such a loss, more
than others might realise.

"I have my good days and my bad days," Loella said with a rather shaky
smile. She knew as well as anyone that Kaya had lost her own babe and
could understand her grief. "It''s hard," and she knew Kaya would
understand.

A short pause was followed by a slow nod. It was hard. Despite the
fact that she had thought she hadn't wanted the child, the loss of the
baby had only made her realise that she had. She had meant stability
in a way, a reason to stay, and that had been a realisation that had
hit her particularly hard. She had_wanted_ to stay. With Wirnan.

After all, despite everything, he'd treated her honourably. She liked
him. Shards...she...

Kaya shook her head and met the shaky smile with a small one of her
own. "I'm sorry."

"The healers told me it's nothing I did but somehow it still feels
like it was my fault," She shook her head like she was trying to

shake off the thoughts. "I need to find what I'm going to make for
dinner."

Kaya knew that feeling exactly. There were times she had wondered if
her desire to run away, her thoughts that she hadn't wanted that baby
had been what caused her to lose the child. Guilt tugged at her heart
as much as the sorrow did. What if she had done things differently?
What if she had accepted the place where she had fallen earlier? What
if she had chosen to want that child? Would she have lost her then?

The mention of dinner brought Kaya back to her purpose there.
"Indeed. I thought I'd do something special for Wirnan tonight." One
hand stretched out to absently pluck a redfruit from a large bin. Her
thumb gently glided over the skin, unmarred in its perfection. "Do
you know what you're making?"

"Meat and tubers," she grinned. "You know men, I don't think he'd eat
a vegetable if I didn't make a fuss now and then." She picked up a
couple of nice large tubers and some long beans. Though she doubted
he'd do more than push them around the plate, until she remembered one
of her mothers tricks and picked up some slices of porcine belly. Then
she got the attention of the meat carver and had him cut a thick
steak. "There," she smiled. "That should be good."

Wirnan seemed to have a bit more eclectic of a palate, but Kaya didn't
think comparing husbands would necessarily be a good thing. Once
Loella had chosen her meat, Kaya did so as well, then placed the
wrapped package in her basket. "I need to get some tubers for soup,
but some other vegetables as well. And fruit. He loves pie." Then
again, she'd made pie last time. Maybe a cake...

Loella chuckled, "I think all men love pie." She grinned at Kaya then
squeezed her upper arm. "Thank you Kaya," she smiled sadly. Somehow
just knowing that someone else knew what she was going through helped.
"I'd better get home though. I'm sure Karhal wouldn't be happy with me
outside right now." She shook her head. "He's so protective right
now."

Last updated on the July 14th 2014

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Mutual Pain