Give and Take

Writers: Miriah, Suzee
Date Posted: 27th October 2015

Characters: J'ackt, Cyradis
Description: Politeness is required sometimes.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 2, day 25 of Turn 8

J'ackt

Cyradis

Tension in his frame was high as he stepped into the doorway and
knocked firmly on the frame. His body posture was coiled, as though
preparing for an oncoming fight. He had to get this taken care of. He
couldn't stand it anymore! "Weyrwoman, may I come in?" Politeness was
difficult for him, but he made the effort. "Please."

"Of course bronzerider," she accorded him the courtesy and waived him
into the room. "What can I do for you today?"

J'ackt stepped in, but kept his distance, standing a bit stiffly. The
next words were hard to say but they were necessary. "I wanted
to...apologize for my behavior towards you last time I was in here."
Shards, but that was difficult to force out...and embarrassing. He
took a breath. "I'm here to ask...request that you allow me to between
and leave the Weyr." He hurried on before she might decide to
interrupt. "Please. I haven't left the Weyr in months. I haven't been
outside of it without company since I got here. I can't live like
this. I need out. I'm about to lose my mind."

Well the first sentence along showed the progress Alin had made with
the kid. She'd never thought to hear an actual apology come out of
J'ackt. "Have a seat J'ackt," she said pleasantly. "I've heard from
the Mind healer and from some of the Weyrling Staff. They say you're
making progress."

He sat, but was stiff. It was clear he was no longer comfortable in
Cyradis' presence, and didn't want to be there, except out of
necessity. He didn't know what progress she was talking about. He
just talked to the fecking mindhealer and didn't like that he had to.

"You know that's a good thing right?" She tilted her head. At least
her experience with her own teenage sons led her to be able to read is
body language with a bit of accuracy.

"I know you all think it's a good thing." He admitted. He still didn't
know exactly what progress they were seeing or even what they wanted
besides him talking to the mind healer. He didn't really care at this
point. He just wanted _out_. With the forced confinement, even Zith
was becoming more and more surly and difficult to manage. The bronze
had picked up on his rider's desire to stretch his wings and coupled
with the instinctive drive to fly Thread and lead, the large bronze
had become downright cantankerous. It was as though all the youthful
energy of both was bottled up and straining at the cork, ready to
explode at the slightest provocation. J'ackt could literally feel it
building in both him and his dragon, and had yet to find an outlet for
either.

"But you don't?" Should be a simple question. She couldn't read his
mind but he wasn't going about this all that well and that had more to
do with his interpersonal skills than anything else. If he wanted her
on his side, fighting her wasn't the way to get there. But she
couldn't tell him that. What little confidence she'd had in L'pin's
assessment of his readiness began to erode.

That made J'ackt pause and think, his eyes searching Cyradis' face for
a moment. It felt like a test. He decided that it was best to be
honest; telling her what she wanted to hear hadn't worked out in his
favor before. "I don't like what I'm having to do. I don't like having
to talk to the mindhealer and I don't like not being able to practice.
" He weighed his next words very carefully, taking time to think out
what he wanted to say before blurting it out in resentment. "I don't
know exactly what you are looking for me to do, but I'm doing what you
said I had to do. I don't know what progress means to you, so I can't
say whether or not it's a good thing to anyone but you and the
Weyrlingstaff. " It was more than he usually said to anyone in
authority. He kept his voice even, though it was difficult. "The most
important things to me, except Zith, have been taken away." He
repeated something he had only told Saidrene and the Mind Healer and
there was a little bitterness to it. "And it feels like I'll be
punished until I'm made to beg for them back."

"How old were you when your family was forced Holdless?" She knew the
question seemed random but something was beginning to make some sense
to her.

That made his brow furrow, the question unexpected. "I don't really
know." He had only vague memories of his mother crying. Shards, he
only guessed at his own age based on what he could remember. "Four
Turns...maybe." He frowned further. "Why?"

"You never went to Harper school as a child." She waved her had
because they'd already discussed what he didn't know about reading and
writing and all of that but he'd lost out on six turns of education.
"Did your mother ever make you ask nice or say please when you wanted
something?"

He was about to mention that she already knew that, but the mention of
his mother stopped him. Immediately, his shoulders hunched in
discomfiture. He avoided thinking of his mother and at first wanted to
refuse to answer the question. He had memories of her saying just
that, but then as he grew older..."Yes." His voice was soft. He
shifted again, even more uncomfortable. His Da's chastisement of his
mother for making his son appear weak, while not physically violent,
had made a lasting impression. Did they have to speak about it?

Was it wrong to feel like a mother in this situation to be sad for the
woman who'd lost her home and her life in the wilderness. "J'ackt,"
she said in a voice full of compassion. "All children learn from their
mothers before they ever go to the harpers. They learn all sorts of
simple things like asking nicely. Say please and thank you. Just be
polite to the other people around you and you'll get far more out of
your life. A sweet attitude makes all the difference." She half smiled
at him. "Begging and asking are very different things. Ask me nicely,
J'ackt, you don't have to beg."

Her compassion was taken as pity for his past and he had to force
himself not to immediately get up and leave. Zith also chimed in,
demanding that he stay, that he some how get them both some much
needed freedom. To keep his temper. It was a struggle, but Zith
managed to soothe the sharp edges of his tongue before it could lash
out.

}: You are not sweet. We both know that. But you are not weak either.
They are just words you must say. Just words. And it is for _us_. :{

J'ackt took a deep breath, then another, visibly struggling. "Please,
will you let me out?"

}: That wasn't so difficult. :(

**Oh, shut the feck up. **

She wasn't fooled, any mother could have almost read his thoughts as
though they were printed on his forehead but just like with a small
child, small steps could be rewarded. "Why certainly J'ackt," she said
with a smile. "Where would you like to go?"

Relief shown on his his face as he immediately said the first thing on
his mind. "Anywhere but here."

"Tell you what," she said leaning forward. "I had a chat with L'pin
and he suggested that you have a companion for while when you are out
of the Weyr. But," she held up a finger to forestall an incoming
comment. "Stay away from the holds and stay inside Dolphin Cove's
territory."

"So I can't be alone?" He wanted to know for certain. It _sounded_
like she was overriding L'pin's suggestion, which was what he was
hoping for, He wasn't planning on going any where near a hold. Why
would he want to?

"Not yet," she shook her head. "I want you with a higher ranking rider
when you're out of the Weyr. At least for the time being. Baby steps
J'ackt."

The relief faded from his face. Baby steps were for babies, which he
definitely was not. Irritation swelled in him, but he battled it down.
He wanted to stand up and leave, and just tell her to forget about it,
but Zith needed the release just as much as he did. He bit his tongue
and just nodded.

"Good," she nodded. Controlling his initial response enough to get the
desired outcome was a step in the right direction. "Then I'll notify
L'pin and you can make your own arrangements with him. Zith should let
Panitath know when you're leaving and who is going with you."

Then she tilted her head. "And," she smiled. "You may have your sword
practice back. Just be very careful."

That had not been expected. He had thought she'd never allow that
again, to be honest. Brows shot up in surprise. "Thank you."

She held up a finger with a smile. "No incidents and you'll keep it.
But remember it's a privilege. Alright?"

He suddenly couldn't wait until he was no longer a weyrling, so he
could get away from 'privileges' being taken or given to him. He
nodded in assent, then rose. "May I be excused?"

"Go," she said with a chuckle and a shooing motion of her hand. He
could have made his exit a bit more correct but she wasn't going to be
picky when he had just shown her so much progress. Maybe not in
attitude but at the very least in his behavior. That was the goal...
right?

Last updated on the October 30th 2015

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