Dealing With It

Writers: Miriah, Yvonne
Date Posted: 22nd December 2015

Characters: Alina, J'ackt
Description: J'ackt checks on Alina after her flight.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 2, day 9 of Turn 8
Notes: Mentioned: S'avn, Saidrene

Alina

J'ackt

Okay, he'd been avoiding her. Really avoiding her as much as possible since her Flight. Even as J'ackt looked at her Weyr door, he contemplated just leaving. She probably didn't want to have a thing to do with him, or any man. He hadn't heard that she'd said much to anyone about it. He stared at the door. He just wanted to know if she had been hurt too badly. If she hated men now. Including him. If she had been badly hurt, he'd throttle the idiot. Quietly.

He paused another minute. She'd tell him it was none of his business and probably be waspish and sharp with him. He'd come to expect that, even to find that the little indenture between her brows when she frowned was sort of endearing. And she gave a little pout with her lip when she was thinking hard and...feck. He didn't need to be thinking about that right now. Steeling himself, he gave a few sharp raps on the door.

"Just a moment!" There was a muffled scramble from behind the door, followed by a crash and a muttered curse. The door was dragged open a moment later and Alina looked up in surprise when she realized that her visitor wasn't who she anticipated. "Oh!"

J'ackt's brows rose at the crash and the curse, but he waited. His hands immediately were shoved into the pockets of his trousers as the door opened. "Hey."

Alina held the door wider in an invitation to enter, hobbling back at bit as she did so. "I stubbed my toe," she said by way of explanation.

That surprised him. He half expected to be told to go away. Stepping in, he glanced around and then down at her toe. "On what?"

"The leg of my bed," she said gesturing at the offending bit of furniture. Her blankets were rumpled and there was a dog-eared Harper's novel on the bedside table. "Stupid thing. What's going on?"

He gave a non-committal grunt and then scratched the back of his head before looking back at her. "Not much just..." He shrugged, his hair now mussed even more than it had been. "Just seeing how you were. That's all."

She looked away, embarrassed. Of course it was about Imarith's flight. He'd been there... and he'd looked angry in the flight room. "I'm fine." She shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. "How are you?"

He studied her, eyeing her turned away face and her posture. He didn't answer at first, just watching her, the set of her shoulders and neck. "Did he.." J'ackt didn't finish that. Of course she'd been hurt. Probably worse than he had hurt Saidrene their first time. He exhaled and started over. "Was he good to you? After?"

Her attempt to change the subject didn't work. Alina quickly closed the door. The last thing she wanted to think about was her flight, and J'ackt was one of the last people she wanted to discuss it with. "Green dragons rise all the time, J'ackt."

"I know that." He kept his hands shoved in his pockets. "But there's only one first time." He watched her as she moved around, then lifted a hand out of his pocket to shove his hair back. "Shaffit, Alina. Was he good to you or do I need to fecking knock his block off?"

"What?! No!" She sat on the edge of her bed with a thump. "S'avn was nice enough. If anything it was me, not him."

There was an easing of tension in J'ackt shoulders as she answered, but he frowned at her as she blamed herself. "How do you mean?"

"It wasn't like I was going to-- to stick around after. Which is apparently standard." Alina rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

His brows rose immediately. After winning Saidrene's flight, he had still had the remaining flight lust that he had expended with her. "Well, no, you don't have to stick around." If he had won, he wondered
if he could have convinced her to stay. He paused at that thought. No, he would have been taking her to infirmary to make sure that she hadn't been badly hurt.

He looked at her on the bed and sighed, rubbing his had over his face. "I was worried about you."

At least someone said that they were. But words were easy... Alina drew her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her knees. "No you weren't. I saw you there. You were angry."

That surprised him and he shook his head quickly in denial. "I wasn't angry." He blew out a breath and sat on the foot of her bed. "I was worried. I was worried that Zith might win and that I might hurt you. And I didn't want anyone else to hurt you either." It was hard for him to express how he felt in words. "I was upset because I knew someone _would_ hurt you and I couldn't stop it."

"I'm not so fragile," Alina said softly. Some days were hard, and the day Imairth rose had been one of the hardest. But she'd survived, and no matter how distasteful she found mating flights, she'd survive the next one too. And the one after that. But it still was nice to know that someone cared. Despite her skepticism, J'ackt had proven that much. "And like I said... greens rise all the time."

"No, you're not. Didn't think you were." He sighed and then looked up at her. "But you don't like them." J'ackt seemed to think for a moment, then hesitantly reached out his hand to touch hers. He didn't know if it would be welcome or not; their relationship was cantankerous at best. "I'll try to keep Zith out of them." He looked at her and his voice was slightly rough. "I want you sure enough, but I want it to be because you want me too, not because I'm forced on you."

"It doesn't matter." She closed her eyes, tensed. Her heart beat a little faster at his words - he wanted her! It would be so easy to just give in. But she couldn't bear the thought of anyone touching her right now, or worse, having to deal with more than a physical aftermath. Someone she actually cared about... Alina took a deep breath and pulled the frayed edges of herself a little tighter around her heart. "You don't have to. Flights mean nothing. Right?"

"Matters to you though. We've both had a bit forced on us since we Impressed, but it's been harder on you. I'm not about to be one of 'em. " His hand on hers lifted and his fingers very lightly touched her cheek. "Not going to hurt you like that."

**Flame him.** The ghost of his fingers lingered on her skin. **And stop being foolish.** Alina shook her head, trying to shake out her wildly inappropriate emotions. Since Imarith had risen she'd flipped between depression and anger so quickly that it hurt, and now everything just felt jumbled. "I told you, S'avn was fine. I'm not hurt."

"I wasn't talking about hurting your body, Alina. " He pulled his hand away and then sighed. He wanted to know if she had found at least some pleasure in it and not just pain, but he knew full well that that question would not be a welcome one. He really wasn't that good at talking to her, but even he could see from her face that she was having a difficult time of taking everything in. Shards, he did most of the time too. He looked at her face carefully and on impulse, he wrapped his arm around her back in a half embrace and gave a hesitant squeeze.

Alina stiffened at the touch. Then she closed her eyes, sighed, and leaned into the embrace without making a conscious decision to do so. Back at home, people touched her-- her parents, her brother, her sister, her friends. Hugs, a touch on the arm, someone to brush her hair... The warmth of J'ackt's palm on her back was distracting. She took another deep breath and reluctantly leaned away again, feeling more mixed up than ever. "I'll be fine."

He felt more of the stiffening than her leaning into him. Clearing his throat, he let her go and slowly rose to his feet. "Well, guess I'll see you later then."

"Yeah." She hesitated. "Thanks-- for asking, though."

He shrugged as a response, looked at her for a moment more, then walked out of her weyr with his brow furrowed.

Last updated on the December 23rd 2015

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Dealing With It