Handle the Emotions

Writers: Miriah, Suzee
Date Posted: 3rd October 2019

Characters: Y'gel, Urlene
Description: Urlene gets some much needed advice from Y'gel
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 12, day 7 of Turn 9
Notes: Mentioned: Lorican

Y'gel

Urlene

It had only been three days, but those three days with Lorican had
effected her more than she realized they would. She'd been happy,
completely and honestly happy spending time with him. They'd talked,
they'd made love, and they'd formed a bond that she simply couldn't
explain. Returning to her duties had proven to be difficult at first
and she found herself distracted by thoughts of him, if he'd arrived
at Barrier Lake safely, if he'd already hurt himself again, memories
of being curled up with him in her bed, watching him laugh...

She was doing it again, she realized, staring at the hides on her
desk. She had to stop that. He was gone. It had only been three days
and rationally, she knew that he was likely never to return, despite
any private hopes that he would. Time and distance would dull
this...infatuation. He'd find someone there; he was handsome, kind,
and gentle and there would be other women there that could catch his
eye or work to catch his. She had to be realistic. Three days with a
man meant little in the long-term. She _knew_ that.

She forced herself to look at the hides and study them, but couldn't
focus. So it was a relief when she heard the knock at her office door.
Urlene looked up, setting the hides aside. "Come in."

Y'gel poked his head in the door. "You busy?"

She glanced down at the hides, sighed, then shook her head. "I
should be, but I'm really not. Come on in, Y'gel. Did you need me
for anything?"

He looked at her. "Searching for a handle on your emotions? I know how
that can keep me from my work at times."

She frowned at him, almost a scowl at his very astute observation,
then blew out a breath, dropping the frown. "Is it that obvious?" She
closed her eyes and rubbed at the bridge of her nose. "It's never been
a problem before. I'll work through it. "

"Urlene," he said in a slightly disapproving tone. "You spent a great
deal of time with a man who's recently left here," he smiled a little
and winked at her. She'd only recently discovered her own sensuality
and he knew how much she could throw into an intimate encounter. He
crossed his legs and dimpled at her. "And now you can't really
concentrate. It's rather a normal state of being for anyone."

Urlene flushed, looking down and her fingers, then gave a soft,
embarrassed laugh. "Oh, Y'gel, I wish it was that simple." She sighed.
"He's asked to court me and I agreed. It sounds so silly right now and
it was only three days, but I was very happy. He made me happy.
More than I thought he would." She finally looked up at him, not
guarding her expression from him. He was her friend and had seen her
bare herself in more ways than one. "I like him very much. And I miss
him." She sighed as she continued, "but I also know that he's half a
world away and eventually the letters will stop. He'll find someone at
Barrier Lake who isn't on the other side of Pern."

"If you really wanted, Aug and I could have you there in only a few
breaths," he smiled. "I realize you've just obtained the things in
your career for which you've worked so tirelessly. But though you've
just accepted the position of Weyrhealer here, they'll need one there
just as much."

She frowned, then slowly shook her head. "Y'gel, you know me better
than that." She gave a shudder at the memory of the last time she'd
had to go between. "Besides, there'll be a hospital there supported
by Healer Hall, my knots aren't recognized by them. Here, they are.
I worked so hard to get the position _here_. Dolphin Cove has been my
home for sixteen turns. I don't think I can give that up, not after
everything I've done to get where I'm at." She took a long breath,
then a sad smile. "Besides, he deserves someone who can give him a
family, Y'gel. I'll accept it when the time comes. I'd just like to
dream about it for while. That's all. "

"Of course," he said smiling softly. Everyone had the right to dream.
His own had been fulfilled far beyond his wildest ones when he'd first
come to the Weyr as a Journeyman Healer. Aughashyth had found him on
the Sands and he'd never been the same. He'd had two wonderful
Weyrmates he'd dearly loved. Urlene was his friend and colleague first
and foremost and he wanted her chance at happiness to work out.
"Well," he said leaning forward. "You know I'm here for you if you
need me right?"

"I know." She offered him a more open smile. "You're a good friend,
Y'gel." Her brow knit as a thought came to her. "Can you tell me
something? When you meet your weyrmates, when did you know that you
wanted to be with them? My marriage was arranged and I obviously don't
have much experience with sort of thing."

He smiled. "They were both love. I am just very lucky they loved me
back. I knew right away with Liranet," he smiled at the memory.
"Briata took a little time. She had a rough first marriage. Not so
much different from yours actually. We first came together when her
gold flit rose. After than I did a lot of courting to gain her trust."

Her brows quirked upwards. "I didn't realize that riders courted."
Then again, she'd never allowed one to attempt it with her. Many who
had expressed interest she'd cut down rather coldly. "Briata is lucky
to have you, Y'gel. You seem very happy together. "

Y'gel smiled. "We are that," he nodded slowly. "There are those that
do and those that don't. It's all about what they're aiming for. I
went for just a tumble in my youth but when I found Lira..." he just
smiled. "She made me work for it. It was an eye opening experience
when I realize the vast difference between having sex and making
love." He nodded and smiled.

"There's the emotional connection of it." It was a murmur, but she
thought she understood. She had thoroughly enjoyed Y'gel's passionate
experience in drawing her own sensuality from her, but the experience
with Lorican had stripped her bare of any pretenses of remaining
separate while joined. She'd lost herself so deeply in him that it had
almost frightened her. She didn't speak of that, though. It was far
too fresh in her mind to divulge. She wanted to keep out to herself
for a while to treasure it.

"Yes," he nodded. "But sometimes the newness wears off and you're left
with something you didn't really expect or want," he shrugged. "Just
be careful. Three days, no matter now amazing, are not enough time to
know how someone will fit into your life."

She sighed, fiddling with the the hide at her fingers."I know." Urlene
hated admitting it, but he was right. "I know. I've told myself that.
I've just never..." She waved her hand at her head. "I've never felt
this way, even as a young girl." She had known from an early age that
her match would be arranged and while she'd had youthful dreams of a
happy marriage, the reality of it had shattered those assumptions
quickly. "I keep reminding myself that rationally it makes no sense to
expect more from just that short period of time. And that he's gone
and he's likely to find someone there. I can accept that, here." She
tapped the side of her head. "It's just..." Her voice trailed off and
she frowned. "Faranth, I sound just like the girls who used to moon
over my brother."

"Alright," he sighed. "The first time you feel this pull is a
dangerous one. I don't know the man so I won't say anything against
him. Just, keep an open mind about it, but not so open that your
brains fall out," he smiled encouragingly.

That brought a short laugh. "How very appropriate to the situation.
You're right, of course." She frowned. "All things considered, may I
ask your advice, Y'gel? I value your opinion. Should I allow this
courtship over letters and distance continue?"

"I'm sure it would be fun at first, but don't be disappointed if it
seems to taper off. Long distance relationship are hard under the best
of circumstances. " He didn't want to discourage her but three days?
"Let him write the first one."

Y'gel made sense. She nodded. "Yes, I'm sure you're right. I will.
Thank you, Y'gel."

"You're welcome," he said. "I'm happy for you," he added as he headed
toward the door. He wished he could think of a way to tell her he
didn't think there was a chance that wouldn't seem self serving, so he
just smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said.

Last updated on the October 14th 2019

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Handle the Emotions