It's My Fault

Writers: Estelle, Miriah, Suzee
Date Posted: 1st February 2020

Characters: L'keri, Urlene, D'ale, Cyradis
Description: D'ale and Cyradis come with Urlene to tell L'keri that his son is missing
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 1, day 5 of Turn 10
Notes: Mentioned: Olwinna

L'keri

Urlene

D'ale

Cyradis

L'keri sank down onto his infirmary bed and reached over to prop the
crutches against the wall with a sigh of relief. Shards, but being
injured was exhausting. Even short journeys and simple tasks like
washing or visiting Rhalith became arduous and complicated, and the
healers were no help, telling him the exercise was good for him.

He lifted his leg onto the bed, then relaxed back against the pillows
and closed his eyes. It couldn't be much longer until they released him.
Though he wasn't looking forward to his reception back at Dragonsfall,
he longed to be flying Fall again with Rhalith. Being grounded while his
wingmates risked their lives in the air chafed at his nerves, and he
missed their easy company and friendship.

Hearing footsteps approaching, he opened his eyes and felt his heart
sink. It was the Weyrhealer, with his Wingsecond following her and the
Dolphin Cove Weyrwoman for good measure. **Must have decided I'm well
enough for a good chewing out.** For a moment, he contemplated
pretending to be asleep, but decided that it would only make matters
worse and pushed himself to a sitting position, trying to look weak and
helpless.

When she approached, Urlene surprisingly didn't react to the obvious
acting, her face perfectly straight. L'keri had lost weight, looked
healthier, and was, despite his complaints, getting stronger. But what
she didn't know was how this news would impact his progress. She
resisted laying a hand on the concealed but growing bump underneath
her voluminous dress; though she hadn't seen her coming child, the
thought of her child missing brought a tightness to her throat. She
couldn't imagine what L'keri would feel once D'ale and Cyradis told
him about his son. Instead of standing behind them as they entered,
she moved to stand at the side of his bed, close enough to gently push
him back if necessary.

L'keri watched their faces as they approached with growing unease, and
the fact that no-one seemed to want to be the first to speak didn't
help. They all looked as solemn as if someone had died. A wingmate? But
surely he'd have heard. Or did they have bad news about his leg? He
leaned forward, his eyes flicking from the healer to the dragonriders.
"Weyrwoman. Wingsecond, Master Urlene..." He swallowed. "Is everything
all right?"

Urlene spoke softly. "They need to speak with you, L'keri."

Cyradis stepped forward. This wasn't her favorite part of her job.
"I'm very sorry to report that your son Arten has gone missing," she
said.

"Missing?" He looked at her, bewildered. "You mean he's sneaked off
somewhere to hide?" Weyrbrats did do that, he'd done it himself
countless times when he'd been in trouble or had some unpleasant chore
assignment.

"That's what we thought at first," she shrugged slightly. "But it
appears he's not in the Weyr at all anymore. We've had parties
searching all the normal places."

"Not in the Weyr?" L'keri repeated in stunned disbelief. "How can he not
be in the Weyr? Where would he go?" He pushed himself upright and swung
his good leg over the edge of the bed, starting to reach for his crutches.

"Wait, L'keri." Urlene placed a hand on his shoulder, holding him
back. "You don't need to get up when you're upset. "Let them finish."

"Didn't you hear what she just said? My son is missing!" L'keri pushed
back against her, though sitting awkwardly half-on the bed he couldn't
use his full strength. "I've got to - to go back, to look for him...he
might be hurt...oh, Faranth's Egg, when's the next Threadfall at
Dragonsfall?" He turned frantically to D'ale.

D'ale shook his head, "There's already been Threadfall. We didn't find
him or any evidence of him."

Urlene pressed a bit more firmly on L'keri's shoulder, her voice
remaining calm but firm. "I know. I heard him. But you're not clear to
/between/ yet. Dragonsfall is looking for your son. You're not going
to help him by further damaging a leg that isn't completely healed."

"I don't care about my leg. I've got to find my son!" D'ale's words had
drained all the color from L'keri's face. If Arten had been out in
Threadfall, he might have reached shelter, but maybe...there was nothing
left. Nausea rose in him, near as bad as in the first days of his
confinement to the infirmary. He'd seen Thread more times than he could
count, and he knew what it could do. "This is my fault. He's gone
because of me. Because of...why I'm here. Please. I can ride. I know I can."

Cyradis voice snapped with command. "Knock it off rider," she said.
"If three or four wings haven't found the boy by now there is nothing
you and a single dragon can do so you just stay where you are. You and
your lifemate don't go anywhere until the Master Healer releases you."

"You don't understand! I have to find him!" Shards, he'd let his son
down before, time after time, and it never felt good, but this was
different. L'keri felt his heart beating a panicked rhythm, his pulse
racing. He turned to Urlene, pleading with her. "I can't be far off
being healed. Let me and Rhalith go and help search. I've got to make it
right."

Urlene looked down, then at Cyradis and D'ale before exhaling.
"L'keri, you are close to being completely fit, I'll give you that
much. You've lost weight and you're healthier than you were when you
arrived. However, right now, for me, it's also a question of your
judgement, which by your history is quite poor. Even if I were to
allow you to ride your brown, I would question whether or not you
would follow my directives for your leg once you were out of this
Weyr. It's been hard enough getting you to this point. You've not
worked well with Olwinna, you've had food snuck in by a friend..." She
eyed him, "and yes, I know about it, and have complained about
necessary exercise. I am unsure at this point if you'd use this
incident as an excuse to go back to drinking if you didn't immediately
find him. " She gestured to his cast. "Your break was severe, L'keri.
You aren't healed enough yet to have the cast off. Letting you go
right now could undo everything and risk a rebreak, especially if you
went /between/. I can't, in good conscience, allow that. I'm sorry."

"It may be too late for that," D'ale said with a shake of his head.

L'keri had turned even paler at D'ale's statement. "So what am I
supposed to do? Lie here in the Infirmary while my son could be in
danger? Shards, I may not be the perfect father but I'm not just going
to leave him out there. There could be holdless bandits, wild animals,
tunnelsnakes..."

"You can finish healing, L'keri. You can't do anything until we get
that cast off and if you tried, you might risk yourself and your
brown. You rebreak that leg and you'll might have to stay here longer
or in Dragonfall's infirmary for even longer, if you don't lose it
next time." Urlene sighed. "Another sevenday, L'keri. Then I'll
re-evaluate you. That's the best I can offer."

"And in the meantime," Cyradis nodded at D'ale. "We have assurances
that the searches will continue."

"They will," D'ale assured L'keri. "And Sweeps will also
continue.We're monitoring for missing food and the caverns at meal
times if he's still in the Weyr and just hiding. We're doing
everything we can to find him. Torerath will keep in touch with
Rhalith with any news."

The brownrider hardly seemed to be listening. He slumped forward,
covering his face with his hands. "He's gone, and it's my fault. I've
been a useless father. I should have been there with him at Dragonsfall,
not here." Outside, Rhalith crooned, his voice swelling with misery. "I
failed him."

There was no comfort that Urlene knew how to offer. She'd spoke to
L'keri about how drinking affected families, but she didn't know if it
had struck him as potentially serious. Her main concern was if this
incident would make his desire for drink stronger. "Perhaps you should
have, yes." Urlene didn't mince her words, though they remained soft.
"But until you know what has happened, I wouldn't say you were a
failure. You'll only be one if you continue down the path you were on
after you return to Dragonsfall." She turned to Cyradis. "Will you
need me further, Weyrwoman?"

L'keri half-listened to them talking, but his thoughts were elsewhere.
With his son, out there in an unknown place, perhaps cold, hungry or
injured. Frightened, and alone.

Last updated on the February 15th 2020

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It's My Fault