Of Flight Babes and Anger

Writers: Miriah, Suzee
Date Posted: 27th October 2020

Characters: Cyradis, J'ackt
Description: Cyradis discuss his behavior.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 4, day 24 of Turn 10
Notes: Mentioned: Saidrene, Alina

Cyradis

J'ackt

J'ackt sighed before he knocked on the door and peered through it.
"Cyradis, you asked for me? What did I feck up this time?" There was
only a slight upturn to his lips. He rarely got called to this office
unless he'd done something wrong, especially since he'd graduated.

"Hey J'ackt," she said and rose from behind her desk. "Come on in,"
she added crossing to where they'd just brought her some tea. "Want
some?"

"Sure. Thanks." He stepped in, but noticed that she'd avoided the
question first. So, yes, he'd done something. It wasn't N'vanik, so
it was nothing he'd done in drills. His mind worked as he poured
himself a cup of tea and just held it, waiting. He idly wondered if
trenches were needing to be dug once again.

"I did ask for you J'ackt," she said as she poured. "I heard
something that concerns me and thought I'd like to get your take on
it."

That brought an arched brow. Feck, she'd heard about the supplies he'd
been taking to Grevan's mother. Well, feck. He supposed he'd have
to do some extra duties to make amends. "Alright. What about?"

She watched his face over the lip of her cup as she blew on the tea.
There was a little guilt about something but she wasn't sure. "What
can you tell me about your last chat with Saidrene," she asked mildly.

Immediately J'ackt's expression closed off and he put down the cup.
But instead of reacting instantly with a temper, which he had learned
from hard lessons with this woman, he measured his words carefully.
"With all due respect, Cyradis, that's none of your business. It don't
affect you or the Weyr. Now, I like you. You've been real good to me.
You and N'vanik both. But I'm not taking 'bout that with you."

"Alright," she said. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she set her own cup
down. "However, you _will_ sit here and listen to me." She put an arm
along the back of the couch and turned towards him. I know you were
not born in the weyr but it might surprise you that nearly half of the
people you know here were actually flight babes. In fact, two of my
own children were. Does this surprise you?"

Irritation flared and he bit back his response, standing stiffly as
she spoke. Lips thin, he waited while she spoke, refusing to respond
until she asked him a direct question. "No."

"Sit down," she said.

Slowly, he took a seat, his gaze never leaving hers for a moment, but
it was clear that her office was the last place he wanted to be.
Silent curses was apilled to the point that even Zith, down in the
Weyrbowl ducked his head.

}:I'm sure the Weyrwoman would never do that, Mine. It sounds very
uncomfortable. :{

"Do you blame me for getting pregnant with Kielya by D'hol when he won
my flight," she asked evenly.

His reply was short and clipped. "That's none of my business. Don't
have an opinion on it."

She looked at him without blinking. Then a small smile curved her
lips. "You're an unmitigated runners ass who has no clue about
anything and opinions about everything."

"Been called worse." J'ackt didn't flinch at the insult. He _had_ been
called much worse. He shrugged, mentally digging in his heels. "Are we
done?"

"Not by a long shot," her smile widened. "How long this takes is
really up to you. You can listen and learn or you can be stubborn and
end up in the trenches again. That part is up to you. But I think the
most disappointing thing to me is more about that family you're
supporting if I have to ground you again."

That brought a flare of temper to his eyes that he visibly struggled
to contain. His fists clenched, then released as Zith sent an
immediate calming brush across his mind. The muscles in his jaw ticked
riotously as he spoke slowly through gritted teeth. "You're forcing me
to listen, so I really don't have much choice, do I? I don't want to
discuss this. It's none of your business. It's not your concern.
So..." He took a deep breath and spoke slowly. "_please_ finish what
you have to say so I can leave and never have to speak about this with
you again."

"Once again, you're so stuck in your own thoughts that you are not
hearing anything I have to say to you. Nor do you want to listen to
advice or any of the information I wish to give you. Until you can
overcome this tendency to anger at the least bit of criticism you will
never grow.: She took a deep breath, "It's time for you to be an
adult, act like an adult, and behave like an adult instead of throwing
tantrums like a twelve turn old who doesn't want to eat his tubers."

It was then that some of the outward facade of calm broke and his
reply snapped back quickly."If I wanted advice, I would've asked for
it. I recall asking you for advice several times when I needed it. I
don't want your information about something you don't know anything
about except maybe what she or someone else might have told you. I'm
_angry_ because I've told you twice now that I don't want to talk
about it and you're not listening. You have no idea what I think or
what the situation is behind it. You want me to listen to you, but you
haven't listened to me. So, go ahead and talk. I have to listen, but I
don't gotta agree to what you're saying or take any advice you give
because you don't know everything that happened. You weren't there."

"And I moved on from Saidrene the moment you said that. _You_ however,
are so wrapped up in your own head that you keep going back to her.,
thinking this entire conversation is about her. This thing I want to
tell you had only a tangential application to her. It is my
responsibility to manage _all_ of this Weyr and its people. _That_ is
my responsibility. If I see a rider, any rider, with a mistaken idea
of how the Weyr works, I try to counsel them." She was no longer
smiling and Panitath moved uneasily on the heights peering down at
Zith.

"Flight babies happen. All the time, and no matter what you try,
you're going to end up fathering a few over the turns. The only
choice you have in that matter is taking Zith away. You could have
done if you'd wanted but you didn't. The woman has no choice at all
and it is completely unfair for you to blame any one of them you
manage to impregnate. I don't care what you think or what you believe,
but if I ever hear of you speaking to another woman like that in the
future, I will personally cut your balls off. Are we clear?"

"Like what? You have no idea what I said! The only thing I said to her
was that _you_ told her that if there was _any_ chance that a babe she
carried was mine, that she should /between/ with it. And she's
/betweened/ with my babe before! Instead, she chose to not tell me and
waited until Alina I were coming to visit to announce it. She didn't
give me a fecking chance to talk to my weyrmate, who is holdbred,
beforehand and explain! I had no fecking clue! " He pointed to his
chest. "I know I messed up! I know it! I hurt the woman I love! But
she planned it to hurt both of us because she's been possessive and
jealous ever since I started showing interest in someone else. So I
had every right to be angry with her!"

He breathed through his teeth, shaking with the struggle to control
himself. " And no, I don't want children. You and I both know that I'd
be a horrible father and I'd never inflict me as a parent on a child!
I'd never acknowledge a babe. Ever! I _know_ I can't control what a
woman does with her body! But don't tell me that I wasn't right to be
angry!"

"Agreed," she nodded. "But once again you have brought us back to her.
Obviously she wasn't sure who the father was and there was another
possibility. So it was her choice to keep the babe and she's no longer
under my protection for me to have any input on the subject. But, you
didn't have to be in her flight J'ackt, you could have taken Zith away
and you chose not to," she said. "_You_ were able to choose."

"Whatever she said to you and Alina is between the three of you. But
as far as I'm concerned, you don't ever have to be a da, but you will
be a father, like it or not. You may not approach these women and tell
them or even ask them nicely to abort. The Weyr will be the parents
for any of your get as needed. We already have that part all set up.
That's why there are so many foster mothers and lower cavern's workers
about. Many children never know who their parents are and are never
deprived of love."

"I already told you that I knew I fecked that up." He was obviously
seething, but his voice wasn't raised any longer. "Fine, but if any
woman who chooses not to /between/ comes to you crying that I won't
acknowledge their babe, then I expect the same answer given to them. I
won't speak to them. I won't acknowledge them or their pregnancies and
I won't help them in anyway. Is that understood?"

"J'ackt, any woman who comes to you should be sent to me immediately
and I will deal with them. Do not try and take care of anything
yourself."

"Fine." Still vibrating with repressed anger. "Now, are we done?" He
caught himself and then corrected his words, speaking very softly with
an attempt at civility. "May I please be excused?"

Cyradis almost snorted but she controlled the impulse. "Thank you,
would actually be a more appropriate response, since I'm offering to
deal with an issue you do not wish to." She waiting a moment longer
then nodded. "You may continue helping that family J'ackt. Just ask
the Headwoman for the supplies you need. I've already informed her.
You're dismissed."

He came really close to pointing out she hadn't offered, instead telling him what he would do, but he bit the words back. He didn't want to prolong the lecture. So, he nodded, rose, and left, slamming the door behind him.
After he was a suitable distance away, he began verbally cursing. Zith
met him outside, also visibly stressed, but immediately crouched. He
didn't bother strapping in or gesturing before Zith leaped into the
air and vanished /between/.

Cyradis pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes for a
moment. **Let me know where they go** she sent to Panitath. **If they
go anywhere near Barrier Lake, make them come home and ground Zith.**

Last updated on the November 5th 2020

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Of Flight Babes and Anger