You Win, for Now

Writers: Devin, Miriah
Date Posted: 6th December 2020

Characters: Cosani, J'ackt
Description: Cosani talks to J'ackt about what's bothering him.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 7, day 22 of Turn 10

Cosani

J'ackt

Cosani spotted J'ackt in the Dining Cavern with an expression that was
especially sullen, even for him. The dark aura around him had put off
any potential table mates, but Cosani was undeterred. She slid in next
to him, leaving a bit of distance between them to respect his space.
"Well you look grumpy. Something happen?"

For a moment, J'ackt considered actually asking for a bottle of
spirits in an effort to soothe the rolling resentment that spilled
into his throat. Instead, he focused on the glass of water in his
hand, barely glancing up at Cosani as she sat near him. "Not in the
mood for your poking today, Cosani, so don't. Just... don't."

She arched an eyebrow. "Got some frustration to burn off?"

That did make him look up at her; he knew exactly what she meant and
for some reason, the thought wasn't something that immediately stirred
him. His voice was sharp. "That's not the answer to everything,
Cosani." He sighed bitterly, lifting his hand before she could retort.
"Look, I'm not saying that I don't want you or anything like that. But
I'm shaffing well pissed off and it's not something I'm after right
now." He returned his gaze to his water, then twisted his head on his
neck, audibly cracking it with a growl. "Considering I'm being put out
to stud like some fecking runner stallion, don't know if I'm going to
want to for a while."

That was... definitely not what she expected. "Alina wants kids?"

He blinked in surprise and turned to look at her. "What? Feck Faranth,
no. We agreed not to have any." J'ackt shook his head. "No. It's
Cyradis... and your father." He sighed and rubbed his eyes. In short
sentences, he described the incident with Saidrene and then what he'd
wanted to do to take care of it. Then the conversation with N'vanik
and the resulting discussion with Cyradis. "Had to sign a shaffing
contract to make sure I'll _breed_. It's the last thing I wanted to
shaffing do, Cosani."

She made a face. "Ugh, that's awful. At least you don't have to carry
them around inside you." Thank Faranth she'd never have to live in a
Hold again. Women there were supposed to breed, but only the _right_
way with the _right_ man. If you did it the wrong way, you paid the
price and so the child. The bitter anger inside her wasn't as strong
as it used to be, but it was still there.

"At least that. But women here aren't forced to. I fecking hate being
forced into anything, Cosani. I hate it. Now my aunt is pregnant too
and then K'yne comes over with his son and now it's like I'm seeing or
hearing babies and kids all the time. It's like they're _everywhere_."
He looked at her. "Please don't tell me that you're pregnant too.
Please."

Cosani wrinkled her nose and made a disgusted noise. "Shards, no. I
take my teas, and if that doesn't work for some reason there's always
/between/." The healers had been clear when she started taking the
contraceptive tea that it wasn't one hundred percent effective.

"At least I know you and Alina aren't going to surprise me with a
brat." He muttered. "A fecking turn. I've got to wait a fecking turn
before I can do anything. I should have just gone to Healer Hall and
gotten it done." He rubbed his face.

"I get not wanting kids but surgery? Isn't that kinda extreme?"

"Not you too." J'ackt exhaled and looked her right in the eye. "You
have a choice to not have kids, Cosani. You can /between/ or take your
teas. This is the only way I can do that. I don't want _any_. I have
to wait a fecking turn, but after that, no matter what, I'm getting it
done. "

Cosani certainly wouldn't want healers slicing her up unless they had
to. "And it doesn't cut off your parts or. . . damage you?" It would
be a real shame if she couldn't play with J'ackt anymore.

He choked and immediately covered himself under the table. "What is
with you and Alina? Do you actually think I'd let them chop any of my
bits off? It's a little cut with some numbweed and I'd just have to
take it easy for a few days not lifting anything heavy. That's all.
Faranth, I'm not _crazy_, Cosani!"

"Well I don't know. I've never heard about this before and it sounded
like castrating a herdbeast or something." She shrugged. J'ackt was so
determined not to have children she didn't know what extreme he was
willing to go to. "If there was something easy, I'd do it. Like if I
could chew firestone like a green and never have to worry about it
again."

"Ask Urlene or something. At least your father and Cyradis would
probably let you do it." J'ackt groused bitterly.

"If there was something easy I probably would've heard about it by
now," she said. "So, what, you have to breed with a bunch of women now
to make sure you have enough babies?"

J'ackt lifted his hand and began ticking off on his fingers. "Can't
avoid flights, Can't avoid moths, can't pull out of a moth before I
finish, can't ask a woman to /between/ with a baby, can't even discuss
it with her if she gets pregnant and I find out. Don't know how many
babies Cyradis is wanting, oh, and have to see a mindhealer again or
N'vanik won't even think about it."

"N'vanik and his mindhealers." Cosani rolled her eyes. "So they've
taken something that should be fun and made it into a gross chore."

"Yeah. You could say that. " The turn was going to creep by. "And Zith
has decided to make up for lost time and chase everything that flips a
green tail at him. You know what's bad? I've actually started hoping
the greenrider is male." J'ackt shuddered and then groaned. "I can't
do this."

This obviously bothered him a lot and she didn't know what to do. She
wasn't good at this kind of stuff. "You'll make it through. You've
been through much worse than this and survived. You're the toughest
person I know."

J'ackt looked up and over at her, surprised. She normally didn't hand
out compliments like that. "Just don't get pregnant. Please. I think
you and Alina are going to be the only ones I can actually relax with
and not worry about."

"I can't promise I won't _get_ pregnant, but I can promise I won't
_stay_ pregnant." She slid a little closer. "But if you want to work
out some of your tension and not worry about even the possibility
right now, there are plenty of things we could do that would never
lead to babies." She gave him a wicked smile.

J'ackt finally laughed, a deep chuckle as he looked up at Cosani.
"Alright. You win." He stood up and jerked his head to the side,
indicating the door. "After you."

Her smile turned smug and pleased. Cosani rose and led the way.

Last updated on the December 7th 2020

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