Marital Troubles

Writers: Estelle, Miriah
Date Posted: 23rd October 2021

Characters: Lorican, Urlene
Description: Lorican visits Urlene and Lorgelen and gets some advice
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 10, day 7 of Turn 10
Notes: Mentioned: Lusilk, Bryvin, Y'gel

Urlene

Lorican had made his request by letter as had been requested, and the
formality of it, so different to the letters they'd exchanged before,
had cut unexpectedly deep. He blamed himself for thinking like that when
he knew he had no right to any more, but somehow his conscience had
little influence over the instinctive reactions of his heart.

Arriving at the agreed-on time, he thanked the dragonrider and made his
way to the entrance to the lower caverns, where they'd agreed to meet.
There was a memory there, too, of seeing her coming to him in her lovely
gown, that last night they'd spent together - but all in all, his spirit
was light. He turned over the little cloth-wrapped package he'd brought
in his hands, thinking of the last time he'd seen his son, wondering how
he'd have grown.

The little room near the creche was small but cozy and littered with
toys. Sitting in a small chair at the wall, Urlene waited while her
son sat, banging wooden blocks together and making contented child
babbles of happiness. He was far more content than she felt, strain
apparent around the corners of her mouth. The past week had been
stressful and she wondered if Lorican's visit would make it more so.
Still, she'd agreed to the visit.

Lorican lingered in the doorway, taking in the sight of mother and son
with a fond smile on his face. Lorgelen was definitely bigger now than
he remembered, sitting up easily and absorbed in his toys. When his
gaze turned to Urlene, he felt a moment's unease. Perhaps it was only
what had happened here at the Weyr, which would have distressed anyone,
dragonrider or not - but he wondered suddenly whether he should have
come, if he should have left them in peace.

He was here now, though. Clearing his throat, he stepped into the room,
his manner diffident, almost shy. "Hello."

Looking up, Urlene rose to greet him. "Hello, Lorican. Please come in."
Her words were formal and calm, not betraying the strain around her
eyes that was not solely due to his presence. "Do you need me to stay
while you visit?"

He'd started to approach but halted and drew back, a polite inquiry
after her health catching in his throat. Perhaps he should have expected
that she wouldn't want to spend time in his presence, but it stung
nonetheless, coming so soon after Lusilk's rejection. He'd not realized
how much he'd been looking forward to seeing her. "Oh. Well, perhaps
you'd better, at first. He might be more comfortable if you're here...if
you have time, of course..." He managed a weak smile. "I've not got much
experience with babies."

"Of course." The response was polite and measured, giving no indication
of her inner thoughts. "I have time." The had been some insistence that
she rest, so time here wouldn't strain her too greatly. Sitting back
down, she folded her hands on her lap. "He's not hungry and just woke
up from a nap, so there should be plenty of time for you to spend with
him. "

Lorgelen looked up at Lorican, then thrust a block into his mouth,
gnawing slowly on the corner while covering it in drool. His eyes no
longer a newborn blue, the shape and color certainly came from his
father, but the fine little nose and mouth shape belonged to Urlene.

"Thank you." Lorican crouched down beside the child, filled with wonder
all over again at his small, perfect features, the tiny fingers that
gripped his wooden block, the bright eyes fringed by pale, delicate
lashes. "Hello, little fellow. My name's Lorican. I brought you a gift."
He carefully placed the package in front of Lorgelen. "Do you want me to
help you open it?"

With a glance at Urlene, he unwrapped the cloth to reveal a soft toy a
little longer than his hand, made of blue-grey and white fabric, with
black button eyes, a bottle nose, a fin and a curved tail. When he
picked the toy dolphin up and gently shook it in front of Lorgelen, the
soft jingling sound of a bell, concealed inside, could be heard. "Here
you are. It's yours."

The sound of the jingling bells instantly drew the little boy's
attention. Cooing with interest, he reached out chubby fingers and
took the soft toy dolphin and wildly shook it. A bubble of laughter
erupted from him and he bounced just a little before thrusting the toy
into his mouth.

A soft chuckle emerged from Urlene at the reaction. "He likes it. He
likes anything that makes noise."

"And anything he can chew, it looks like." A wide, pleased smile lit
Lorican's face and he relaxed, settled down beside his son and idly
started to stack the blocks. "I got it in the market at Sunstone, but I
made the bell myself. Made a few dozen bells, actually, and traded them
with the holder selling the toys to sew inside. It seems making noise is
popular with a lot of children."

Urlene's smile remained. "Very popular. And he's starting to grow his
first tooth, so he'll chew on anything. I suggest you keep your
fingers away from his mouth. He also likes wooden rattles and the
blocks, though I think he prefers to knock them over and..." Lorgelen
proved her immediately right by swinging happily at the stacks blocks,
then giggling around the toy as they tumbled down in a crash.
"...crash them."

"Aww, no!" Lorican covered his face with his hands in mock despair. "My
tower!" Peeking through his fingers, he pulled a silly face at Lorgelen.
"Who could have knocked it down? Was it that naughty dolphin?" He shook
a finger at the toy. "Looks like I'll have to start again." With
exaggerated caution, he placed one block on top of another.

Lorgelen watched Lorican's motions with interest, a drool smeared smile
spreading across his baby cheeks. Then, surprisingly, he leaned
forward, waved his hands wildly and squealed. He dropped the toy as he
stretched out his hands, opening and closing his fists in a beckoning
gesture.

"What's that - do you want to give me a hug to make it better?" The
smith reached out and gently lifted Lorgelen into his arms, bouncing him
lightly. "Oh! Yes, I feel much better now. We'll have to tell mama that
your hugs are the best medicine for making someone happy." He looked up
at Urlene and smiled. "But perhaps she knows already."

Urlene's smile was a little more genuine as she watched her son bounce
in Lorican's arms. Her posture relaxed and the gentleness in her smile
wasn't a pretense. "Perhaps I do. He's a very loving child. He's
adored by everyone." There was a mother's pride in her statement,
certainly, but also a great deal of love directed at the little boy.

Lorgelen patted Lorican's face and explored it with little fingers,
then grinned and laid his head on Lorican's shoulder with a happy
little babble.

He all but held his breath at the touch of his son's fingers on his
cheek, remembering how he'd vowed to himself that he would live to share
this moment. Sure that he was grinning like a fool, he turned to lightly
kiss the child's forehead, oblivious to the patch of dribble that
dampened his tunic. "I can see why. I'm so very glad and grateful to be
able to have this time with him. Lord Bryvin's given me leave to visit
regularly, if you don't mind it."

Shaking her head, Urlene responded easily. "I told you that I didn't."
She paused, sliding her hands over her skirts in thought, then pursed
her lips, speaking carefully. "I would think you'd be more concerned
with your wife's feelings on the matter. Hold and Hall women aren't
normally so....understanding. "

"Lusilk isn't an ordinary Hold woman," Lorican said, with a wry twist of
his lips at the depth of that understatement. "She knows how much it
means to me, to be a part of Lorgelen's life. She has a young son,
from...before we were married. She understands that kind of love for a
child."

He hesitated for a moment, but knew that he should tell Urlene, even if
it seemed like an ending, that to keep it as a guilty secret from her
would be wrong. "It might be difficult for me to come as often as I'd
hoped, for a while. We're...she's expecting a baby."

That made Urlene blink and sit back, both brows rising high. They hadn't
been married for too long, from what she understood. Perhaps there was a
reason why the marriage had been so sudden. Still, there was a flash
of pain. Would he have done the same if she'd actually reached out to
him? Something told her he would have, but would she have accepted?
Perhaps not. Besides, she was content for the most part with her
current situation.

Another thought came to her. He'd cut off contact with her during her
own pregnancy, so surely he and his wife had already been involved.
"Ah...congratulations. I'm sure you're happy about that."

"Yes. I - we are." There was a slight tension around his eyes, a slip in
his voice as he remembered how he'd confronted Lusilk with her sparring,
how she'd hardly spoken to him since, as if she was locked inside a
prison of debts and violent memories and he couldn't find the key. He
turned his head to his son to hide his face for a moment, breathing in
the scent of the child's hair. "Lorgelen will have a little brother or
sister. I hope one day they'll meet."

She caught the tension that he had tried to hide, but unfortunately for
him, Urlene was very good at reading expressions from her time in the
infirmary and Lorican had never been good at hiding what he felt. Even
as he turned away, Urlene's brows quirked upwards. "Perhaps they will."
Folding her hands in her lap again, she waited for only a moment before
speaking again. "Lorican, it's certainly not my business, but I can see
all is not right with you."

His gaze flicked up to meet hers over the boy's head. "I...well. We've
had some..." He wondered at how he'd never been able to conceal his
feelings from her, and remembered that day when he'd come to the Weyr to
see her, knowing he was a danger to all those he loved, that he'd have
to say goodbye. If she hadn't been working, if he'd stayed a few minutes
longer and seen her face to face, would he have been able to lie?
"Lusilk is - she's not used to living in a Hold. What people expect of a
crafter's wife." That was true enough, and they'd met at the Weyrhold,
it wouldn't be surprising. "She's used to taking care of herself. I
worry for her. I don't know how to make her understand that I'm here to
support her and..." He flushed, suddenly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be
burdening you of all people with our troubles."

"I'm a Healer, Lorican, I deal daily with other's troubles." Urlene
spoke gently, but firmly. "I'm not a MindHealer, but if she's used to
living in a Weyr like Barrier Lake, then you shouldn't expect her to be
a biddable wife so quickly nor should you expect her to adapt to what
you think she should be. I assume you married her knowing how
independent she was. Expecting her to change just for you isn't fair to
her. "

"I know." He sighed. "I'd hoped we could settle at Barrier Lake. I never
expected to be posted to a Hold. Perhaps I should have refused." Would
the Mastersmith have let him stay, even if he was expelled from his
Craft? If he could have, it was now too late to change his mind. Even if
he achieved his Master's knots, he didn't expect they'd be allowed to
leave Sunstone with Silgan. "The last thing I've ever wanted is a
biddable wife, but - you know what it's like in a Hold. I'm worried
about her."

Urlene paused, thinking about his words, even though they did cause
her some pain. She managed to push it aside and consider the matter
clinically and not emotionally. "Have you told her that? That you're
worried about her and don't have that expectation of her? Or did you
just assume that she knew?" Her brow rose. "You do tend to make
assumptions, Lorican."

"Well, I..." His brow creased as he recalled that night, when he'd
confronted her, what he'd said. "I _thought_ I had. Still, any decent
man would be concerned in the circumstances. It must be so strange for
her, so unfamiliar." Now he thought about it, Lusilk had been on edge
for days before the sparring, spiky with unused energy and having no
forge, like he did, to use it up.

"You know her better than I." She'd only met the dark haired woman
once and it had been awkward. She watched Lorgelen snuggle into his
father's arms and pat his face as he softly cooed. "But, I think
you'll be a good father to your child with her. I truly hope that it
works out for you."

Lorican looked up at her, a sudden, genuine warmth in his eyes. "Thank
you. For everything, for this. Being a father - it's more joy than I
ever could have believed possible." He smiled as tiny fingers touched
his cheek. "Ah, hello. Here I am talking and someone wants to play."
Reaching out, he picked up the toy again and swooped it towards Lorgelen
with a light trill of the bell. "Wheeee..."

The play brought a light chuckle to Urlene's lips as Lorgelen giggled
at the tinkling of the bell. "Perhaps one day Lorgelen and your new
baby will spend time together and get to know each other well. I
suspect you'll be quite busy with a newborn, but please remember to
come and visit him when you can."

"Of course. Would you like me to come back and play with you, from time
to time?" He addressed Lorgelen, tickling him lightly under the chin to
elicit another giggle. "I hope that's a yes. I think about him a great
deal. I wish..." His voice trailed off. When they'd first met, and when
he'd gone to the Weyrhold, his wishes had been so simple, but so much
had changed since then.

His gaze returned to her. "Forgive me, I should have asked before. Is
all well with you? We heard about what happened at the Hatching."

Urlene's brows rose, then fell at the question. "Stitch died." Her
voice was soft. "He ate some of the meat and Y'gel wasn't able to help
him. It was too late." She hid her grief well, but it was still there.
"It's been chaotic, if I may be honest. There's still anger, but
thankfully, I don't have much to do with it now. I'm leaving it to the
Weyrleaders to handle."

"Oh, Urlene." His instincts told him to go to her, but uncertain if
she'd welcome it, he instead held the child closer, stroking the soft,
fine hair. Lorican knew little of the bond between dragonkind and their
chosen partners, but he understood enough to know that it was a pain
unlike any other. Suddenly, more than ever, he wished he could have been
there with her. "I'm so sorry."

She nodded, sitting straight and keeping her facial expression even.
"So am I." Urlene took a deep breath to steady herself. "I'm just glad
no one else was hurt. I don't know what the after effects of all of
this will be. I imagine that the feelings between Hold and Weyr are
not going to improve any time soon."

Lorican sighed. "I'm afraid you might be right. Hatred that deep is hard
to understand, let alone remedy." He felt a sudden chill. If someone
would try to poison an innocent hatchling, what else might they do? "If
- if you ever feel unsafe here, I'll help in whatever way I can. I could
talk to the Lord Holder, or perhaps the Headwoman at Barrier Lake."

Urlene's brows raised; in some ways, she could understand the Holders
and their resentments, ill-founded and unwise as they were, though she
certainly didn't agree with them. Weyrlife had also been confusing and
she had held it with a certain amount of disdain for turns; there were
some things that were simply too different for the average Holder to
accept. Lorican's offer was a kind one, but not one she'd accept. "I
thank you, but no. I'm safer here than I would be anywhere else and
I'll never return to a Hold to stay. They wouldn't recognize my
training and Barrier Lake already has a Weyrhealer. My place is and
will be here, Lorican."

"I understand." When he thought of the times he'd seen her in the
infirmary, effortlessly in control and in her element, it was hard to
imagine her anywhere else. "All the same, the offer remains open, if you
ever have need." He gently set Lorgelen down, as the child was beginning
to wriggle, and picked up one of the blocks. "All right. Let's see how
high I can build that tower before someone knocks it down, shall we?"

"I appreciate the offer." Urlene inclined her head politely, then
watched as Lorgelen lunged at the blocks with a smile.

Last updated on the February 6th 2022

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