Shared Fears

Writers: Devin, Estelle
Date Posted: 23rd February 2024

Characters: R'ayl, R'lor
Description: R'lor reassures a nervous R'ayl the night before his first Threadfall
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 2, day 10 of Turn 11

R'lor

The sun was sinking to the horizon and the shadows of the Weyr cliffs
drawing in as R'ayl walked down to the shore of the lake. There would be
Fall the next day and it was late for bathing, so it was quiet and
still, with only the faint lowing of herdbeasts from the pens to be
heard across the water.

R'ayl knew he should be getting an early night, like the rest of his
classmates who'd been judged ready to fly firestone to the Wings, but he
wanted to clear his head, and wasn't sure he wanted to be alone in his
little cliff weyr. He wandered along the path until he found a flat,
sun-warmed rock where he could sit and look out across the lake, trying
to breathe deeply and not to think too hard about tomorrow.

Kularth was soaking up the last of the sunlight on the heights and got
up to stretch. As he gazed down at the Weyrbowl he spied the young
weyrling sitting alone. }:Is yours troubled?:{ he asked Delorth.

}:He is thinking of tomorrow,:{ Delorth replied from his weyr ledge. The
young blue sounded uncertain how to describe his rider's mood. }:He says
he is all right.:{

Kularth pondered for a moment and then reached out to his rider. A few
minutes later R'lor crossed the Weyrbowl and approached R'ayl. "That
big blue babysitter of mine says I should check on you." Sometimes
weyrlings were less defensive if R'lor could blame the concern on
Kularth -- and often it was true. Kularth loved caring for and
training the little ones, and that extended to their riders.

R'ayl looked up, startled. Lost in his thoughts, he'd not heard the
Weyrlingmaster approach, and he quickly jumped to his feet. "Oh - I'm
sorry, sir. I didn't mean to interrupt your evening."

"Don't worry about it. Please sit." He took a seat himself on a nearby
flat rock. "Worried about tomorrow?"

The weyrling took a seat again. He wasn't sure if a dragonrider should
admit to being worried about fighting Thread, but he didn't want to lie
to the Weyrlingmaster either - so, after a moment, he nodded.

"Yes, sir. Delorth and I do want to do our duty! It's just..." His voice
trailed off.

"Scary?"

"I'm afraid if I drop a sack and a rider doesn't get the firestone they
need in time, or if I come out of /between/ in the wrong place and
Delorth is hurt, or..." R'ayl's voice trailed off.

R'lor looked out at the lake. "I Impressed before the Pass. Thread was
supposed to be gone forever, a story from the past that we would never
have to face. But then there it was, and we were living something out
of a Harper's tale. I was terrified, and I was much older than you at
the time."

The weyrling followed his gaze across the water, and tried not to wonder
if this would be the last time he'd ever watch the sun set over the
lake. The Weyrlingmaster's words were a comfort, perhaps because they
distracted him from his own thoughts, and he found the courage to ask a
question. "What was it like? That first time, when Thread fell?"

"We'd heard about it, from the Weyrs who faced that very first Fall of
the Pass. The leadership had poured over records, we'd been drilling
extensively for months. We thought we were ready. We weren't."
Sometimes he envied the dragons' ability to forget. "The sky was full
of shimmering silver tangles -- and screaming. People, dragons. I felt
sick and my heart was pounding, but I knew Kularth and I had to fight,
because if we failed, then the others around us could be hurt, too.
There were . . . so many injuries. But we held on, all the Wings did.
And most of us made it through."

R'ayl's eyes were very wide as he tried to imagine that scene, building
it from scraps - the faded tapestries of dragons rising to meet Thread
he remembered vaguely from the Hold, the confusion of his first drill
with ropes, the sight of a blue dragon, not so much older than Delorth,
crying out in pain as he landed in the Weyrbowl, his side streaked with
ichor and black char. He remembered one evening in the dining cavern a
few sevendays back, hearing a table of riders breaking into a sad and
sentimental ballad together, seeing the looks on their faces - and
knowing that they were singing in honour of a fallen wingmate.

"It must have been hard," he said softly. "I'm sorry if I made you
remember anything you'd rather not."

R'lor turned back to him with a gentle smile, though his eyes were
still haunted. "I don't mind. I want to help you understand what
you're facing. I'm sick with worry, knowing that I'm sending you and
the others into danger tomorrow. I know some might not make it back.
_You_ might not make it back, and that would break my heart." He cared
about all the weyrlings he trained, but he couldn't help having
favorites.

The boy thought for a moment, and the anxious set of his face shifted,
his chin lifting in determination. "We _will_ come back. We'll try our
best, anyway." He would not let the Weyrlingmaster down. "It's not so
bad as that first time any more - is it?"

"No. We really _do_ have experience now. Most of the dragonpairs have
been flying 'Fall for Turns." There would always be mistakes, and bad
days, and bad leaders -- but it wasn't like those early days. "The
other Weyrlingmasters and I have trained you the best we could. You'll
be afraid your first time, everyone is, at least a little. And that's
okay. What you need to do is harness that fear, use it to make
yourself careful and aware, but not let it overwhelm you. And trust
your dragon. Your training and Delorth will get you through this."
R'lor could only hope that was true.

"Thank you, sir." R'ayl managed a smile. He still felt fearful about
tomorrow, but it helped to know that the Weyrlingmaster had confidence
in him, and that he wouldn't be alone. He had Delorth and his classmates.

There was one thing that still troubled him. "Can I ask - if something
does happen to me..." He felt his throat tighten, and had to take a
moment to breathe. "It's my Mama. She's already lost one of us. Will the
Weyr take care of her?"

R'lor patted his shoulder. "Of course. The Weyr will provide
everything your mother and sister need. I don't know if there's
anything I could do -- anything _anyone_ could do -- to soothe her
heart, but I could try." The thought of speaking to that woman, who
had so clearly been worried for R'ayl, and telling her the worst had
happened . . .

"Thank you, Weyrlingmaster." That was a weight lifted from his
shoulders, to know that his mother and sister would always have shelter
here, and his smile turned more genuine. "Delorth and I will take care
so that you never need to. And then, when the others go to the Fighting
Wings, we can be your assistants."

"I'm looking forward to that. I have a feeling you'll do very well."
And while R'ayl would still be in danger ferrying firestone, his age
meant the boy would be safe from the fighting Wings for a few turns
yet. "And I'm sure you'll both do me proud tomorrow."

"We'll try, sir." He felt Delorth's warm support across their bond, and
though he was still nervous about tomorrow, somehow he knew that
everything would be all right. "I guess we should try to get some rest?"
He wasn't quite sure how, but that was what they'd been advised to do.

"I should try to do the same." R'lor patted him on the back. He had a
feeling it was going to be a restless night. "I'll see you in the
morning."

R'ayl got to his feet and looked out one more time across the lake,
where the last rays of the evening sunlight glimmered on the water, then
turned back, trying to look as brave as he wanted to be. "Thank you.
Good night, Weyrlingmaster." Then he set off along the lake path. At
first, he seemed to be a small and lonely figure, but as he approached
the Weyrbowl a young blue dragon could be seen gliding down from the
heights to meet him and take them back up to their weyr.

R'lor watched him go, his heart in his throat, desperately hoping he
wouldn't lose R'ayl -- or any of them -- tomorrow.

Last updated on the February 28th 2024

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Shared Fears