I Tried So Hard

Writers: Aaron, Devin
Date Posted: 1st March 2024
Series: The Disaster at Dragonsfall

Characters: K'don, R'lor
Description: K'don tries to take responsibility for carrying Naradis to Dragonsfall, but focused on his own inability to get through to her, ends up forgetting to mention Kadira's part in the confrontation.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 9, day 25 of Turn 10
Notes: Mentioned: Cyradis, Kadira, K'sedel, Naradis, Saibra
Everything You Say to Me series

K'don

R'lor

K'don deflected everything Maciath tried to say to him on their return
flight to Dolphin Cove. He was too busy rehearsing in his head the
conversation he was about to have with K'sedel. Eventually, Maciath
stopped trying to console or commiserate.

It was several hours later back home compared to Dragonsfall, and
K'sedel was not where K'don expected him to be. Instead, the first
person in his chain of command he found was his third, R'lor.

There was no use searching for K'sedel. If he took too long, Saibra
would return with Naradis, and it would look like K'don was trying to
avoid taking responsibility. So R'lor would have to do.

"R-R'lor, sir?" The tears that had turned to frost on K'don's cheeks
while he was /between/ had melted already, but they were reddened for
it. "I need to talk to you. I messed up really bad."

The young rider was clearly distraught. "What is it lad?" R'lor laid a
hand on his shoulder.

He took a deep breath and recited the story he practiced.

"I agreed to take Naradis to Dragonsfall to speak to the girl who
Impressed a blue, Kadira. But it did not go like I thought it would.
She kept... getting more and more hostile. The little blue asked
Maciath for me to get her away from them, and I tried, but she
wouldn't listen to me.

"Their Weyrlingmaster and Weyrwoman Saibra had to get involved. If
they hadn't, he probably would have gone /between/. I... she banned me
from her weyr and told me to get out. And she's coming here with
Naradis now to speak to Cyradis."

He managed not to start crying again, but his trembling showed he was
not far from it.

This was . . . very serious. R'lor couldn't help a brief look of shock
when he heard a weyrling had been upset enough to be in danger of
going /between/. "You didn't know Naradis would start trouble, did
you? And you tried to calm things down?"

"She just said she wanted to talk!" K'don insisted. "She wanted to...
understand something about herself and Impressing. About whether she
could Impress. I just thought I was helping my sister. I didn't know
she would ever get so mad that she wouldn't even care that she was
going to k... going to hurt a baby." Who would do that?

"I told her to stop over and over, but she just wouldn't listen. I
even got myself in between them and tried to move her away, and she
just... pushed right past me again. She said some really mean things.
Mash was so mad, he said he would have refused to carry her back if
Saibra hadn't said she was going to do it."

"I think you did as much as you could think of in the situation, and
none of this is your fault," R'lor said. K'don was a sensitive boy,
and as serious as this situation was, R'lor had no desire to berate
him for it. Still, there were harsh lessons to be learned here.
"However . . . you are a dragonrider, and a brownrider at that. Even
though Naradis is the one at fault, you bear some of the
responsibility for what happened. That's what being a rider means.
Your duty is to dragonkind, and today you failed that duty."

Fresh tears overflowed, but K'don kept his voice steady. R'lor was
absolutely right, and he knew it.

"Yes, sir."

"We can't change the past, but we can learn from it," the
Weyrlingmaster Third told him. "What would you do differently? What do
you think you should have done?"

"I should have asked for permission before I agreed to carry anyone to
another weyr, even my family, especially to speak to a weyrling still
under restrictions... I should have known that, itâ€" it's basically my
whole job to know that." K'don shivered with guilt-ridden anxiety and
was now struggling not to let his voice falter.

"Cyradis is going to be so disappointed in me." That was when he broke
down into sobs. She was not going to let him treat her like she was
his mother after thisâ€" it would be the third time he had lost a
mother, and this time it was actually his fault.

"It's alright, lad." R'lor pulled him into an embrace. "We all make
mistakes, none of us is perfect."

K'don was too upset to speak coherently anymore, but he held onto the
comfort from R'lor. Eventually, he composed himself enough.

"Will you... or will you ask K'sedel, or... I mean, I want to offer to
do something, a punishment, something, for Saibra. Whatever she asks,
I'll do it. I don't care if she doesn't let me come back." He did not
need to come back. "I just want to show her I'm sorry. But she won't
want to talk to me, and I shouldn't go straight to her, anyway."

R'lor nodded. "I can speak to the Weyrleaders about it. Maybe it could
help repair whatever diplomatic strain this may have caused between
the Weyrs." The real trouble would be seeing if Naradis could somehow
make amends. He would need to speak with her later. "You're trying to
take responsibility, K'don. That's commendable. Everyone makes
mistakes, but the true measure of a person is what they do after."

K'don nodded. There was little else to be said. Now he would serve out
whatever punishment his leaders decided he deserved. He wiped his face
on his sleeve.

"Thank you, sir."

R'lor patted him on the shoulder. "The Weyrleaders will likely want to
speak with you. You should go to your weyr and compose yourself until
they send summons. Drink some water, maybe have something to eat."

K'don shuddered. But he would have to face the music with Cyradis
eventually. He nodded again.

"Yes, sir."

The poor boy . . . If the Weyrleaders or K'sedel were too harsh, R'lor
would do what he could to defend K'don.

Last updated on the March 5th 2024

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I Tried So Hard