Give Me a Reason

Writers: Curious, Devin, Suzee
Date Posted: 3rd March 2024

Characters: Cyradis, Naradis, N'vanik
Description: The Weyrleaders ask Naradis to explain herself and things don't go well.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 9, day 25 of Turn 10
Notes: Mentioned: Kadira, K'don, Saibra, L'val
Part of the "Everything You Say To Me" series. Follows "Fighting Myself"

Cyradis

N'vanik

Cyradis sent for Naradis a bit early from the time she'd mentioned to
N'vanik. She wanted a couple of minutes with no one else around to
greet her as her mother before she had to be the 'Weyrwoman.'

She heard the door and stood up. "Come," she said.

Naradis didn't know what to say. What could she say that would stand a
chance of changing anything? What was even the _point_? She felt like
something vital within her was about to collapse, but she had to say
something, to do something. To do otherwise was anathema to her very
person.

But she _couldn't_, not yet, not now. When she stepped into the
Weyrwoman's weyr, all that she initially managed was a fraught, "Mom."

Cyradis just held out her arms with a compassionate look on her face.
"Sweetheart," she said softly.

Naradis didn't cry. She _didn't_. But as she hurried over and
collapsed into her mother's arms, it was apparent that the girl was
holding on by a hair.

Cyradis kissed her hair and held her for a moment longer. "What
happened," she asked gently.

Naradis pulled back with a sniffle. No tears yet, though. "I had some
questions to ask Kadira," she began, trying to sound strong and barely
managing to keep her voice from cracking severely. "She was upset
about everyone paying attention to her, and I tried to make her feel
better about impressing blue. And she..." Another sniffle. Naradis
took a deep breath and squared her shoulders before continuing. "She
started screaming at me, called me a colorist, and said that I'm too
selfish to impress. I couldn't... I couldn't just walk away and say
_nothing_ after that."

"And did you know her before you went there? Were you friends? Is that
why you needed to go all the way to Dragonsfall?" Cyradis was puzzled
by how different this account was to the ones she'd heard from both
K'don and Saibra.

"Oh Naradis," she sighed. "She took it wrong because she didn't know
you? That was the moment you _should_ have walked away."

"I couldn't. I-" Naradis ground her teeth together, struggling to find
the words for a moment before continuing, "I can't tell you why, but I
couldn't. It was important that I talk to her. And it _had_ to be
her."

"Listen," she said, letting go but stroking her daughter's upper arms.
"Let's sit. N'vanik is going to be here soon and Saibra was
practically breathing fire when she came here. Right now, right here
she patted her chest. "I'm your mother and I love you. But I'm also
the Weyrwoman. It's my job to say some things you won't like to hear.
Please know that I love you but really don't like what you did. You
know better."

Naraids nodded. She nodded, but she also warned, "I'm not going to
apologize. I wasn't going to roll over and let her talk to me that
way." She took a deep breath, looked away, and sullenly added, "Let's
get this over with."

"Actually, you _are_ going to apologize to everyone else." She held up
a hand to forestall a retort. "To K'don and Maciath, To Saibra and
Chioneth, To L'val and Kyverth, and to the little blue you almost
scared to _death_. He almost died Naradis, because you couldn't just
turn and walk away. It was not your job to correct his rider. _You_
almost killed that little blue. That was wrong no matter what his
rider said to you. You could have waited until he was older to finish
your conversation."

}:Calmly mine:{ Panitath could feel her own rider's rising tension.
}:Loseth! Send yours to mine now.:{

N'vanik had been getting ready to head over but he rushed to the
Weyrwoman's room when Loseth passed on the message from his mate. He
stopped to knock, frowning in concern. "Cyradis?"

"Come in N'vanik," she called. She took a beat to take a deep breath
and blow it out slowly. "This thing wasn't all as one sided as we were
led to believe," she said. "Suppose you tell him, hmm?"

Naradis' eyes hardened. In one second, she shut down completely, and
even as N'vanik walked into the room, all she said was a flat, "No. If
that's your condition, then go ahead and kick me out of the Weyr.
There's nothing you can do that will make me apologize to that
Bitran."

Then N'vanik was there, and although Naradis' expression remained hard
and her voice empty, she did as her mother said and told her side of
the tale. "Kadira went after me first. I was trying to make her feel
better, and she started screaming at me and said that I'm too selfish
to impress." She tilted her head up, jaw clenching. "I won't be held
responsible for _her_ breakdown."

N'vanik's jaw set, and he glanced at Cyradis. She'd asked him to be
the calm one, so he was at least going to try. When he spoke there was
anger in his voice, but he didn't yell. "You could've killed her
dragon. You _are_ responsible for that. Have you paid attention in
Candidate classes for one second? Young dragons are highly sensitive
to their rider's emotions. You should've backed off, and to /between/
with your pride. Your pride isn't worth a dragon's life."

Cyradis brows came together at the stubborn chin and emphatic 'no'.
"We're not going to kick you out of the Weyr dear," she said softly.
"And if you recall what I said, I did _not_ ask you to apologize to
Kadira. I said Saibra, L'van and K'don. " She made calming motions
with both hands. "Can we please take this down a notch?"

At her mother's assurance, Naradis did calm... somewhat.She made an
effort, but as she looked at N'vanik and his words sank in, the anger
flared back up.

"That's the other thing, why is it _my_ responsibility to protect
_her_ dragon?" Naradis asked. "_She's_ the one who had a breakdown and
started attacking me. How come no one cares that _her_ tantrum put her
dragon in danger in the first place, but everyone's acting like I
deserve to be staked out for thread for not letting her treat me
however she wanted? Saibra and L'val made it perfectly clear that they
couldn't care less what Kadira did. Why should I feel bad about
hurting someone who would have faced _no_ consequences if I walked
away. Why should I _also_ have to care about that stupid sharding
dragon when he and his rider are already all anyone else cares about?
Oh, I'm sorry, everyone _except_ his rider."

**Cyradis wants you calm, Cyradis wants you calm.** N'vanik took a
breath. "Kadira isn't our responsibility, _you_ are. We can't control
how Dragonsfall disciplines their riders, especially when you went
there. If this had happened at Dolphin Cove, believe me _both_ of you
would be in here."

Cyradis could only imagine what that had cost her fiery Weyrleader and
she shot him a grateful look. "And I know you're still angry darling,"
she reached out a hand to touch her daughter's arm. "But we don't yell
at babies. Not human ones and not dragons. That's because we're adults
and they aren't. They can't understand and try to get away. Please
remember that when _you_ Impress."

Naradis' breath hitched. "I didn't yell at the dragonet," she weakly
protested. "I yelled at the girl who said that I _can't_ impress."

And after how long she had been left standing, considering what she
couldn't bring herself to tell her mother or the Weyrleader, who would
say otherwise?

N'vanik crossed his arms. It seemed Cyradis wasn't eager to start
handing out punishment, so he followed her lead. "How do we know you
aren't going to endanger dragons here? How can we trust you aren't
going to get into a fight if another weyrling pisses you off?"

"Have you been paying attention in Candidate classes Naradis? Do you
accept that you did something wrong?

"No. I don't," Naradis flatly said. It was an emptiness underlined by
an anger and _devastating_ hurt. She tried to suppress it, but it came
through in the whitening of her complexion and flexing of her hands.
Still, she tilted her head up as she looked between Cyradis and
N'vanik, she added, "Kadira was going to be able to treat me however
she wanted and walk away without any consequences if I didn't say
anything. Saibra and L'val made that _perfectly_ clear. _She's_ all
anyone cares about, from Saibra to K'don to everyone else in the
sharding Weyr, I'd bet. So no, I don't apologize for a word I said,
and if I was given the opportunity to walk away again, I'd still say
what I said to her - which is nothing worse than what _she_ said to
_me_."

"You do understand that I don't want to talk about _her_ I want to
talk about _you_. But you don't want to talk about _you_. So until
you will talk about you without talking about her." She sent a firm
look at N'vanik. "You will be taken to one of the remote weyrs for a
few days until you can calm down.”

Her hand went to her side as a pain shot through her and she turned to
sit down. "Go," she said pointing at the weyrledge. "Family will visit
and bring your meals. Think Naradis until you figure out what you did
wrong.” She turned to N’vanik. “Take her, the Weyrwoman doesn't want
to talk to her anymore today."

N'vanik jerked his head at Naradis. "Go wait in the Bowl while I get
Loseth's straps on." He gave Cyradis a worried glance before heading
toward the ledge.

"Fine," Naradis muttered, skulking out to the Weyrbowl.

Cyradis closed her eyes, leaned forward and covered her face with her
hands. Shadow sailed down from his perch with a soft chitter and
butted her knee with concern. "I'll be fine," she said.

Last updated on the March 5th 2024

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Give Me a Reason