Looking for a Reason

Writers: Devin, Halyonix
Date Posted: 10th March 2024

Characters: R'lor, Oriene
Description: R'lor has a chat with Oriene about why she's a Candidate
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 12, day 9 of Turn 11
Notes: Mentioned Tirraze

R'lor

Oriene

"Candidate Oriene, please have a seat. This is nothing formal, I
simply like to meet with all the Candidates," R'lor said.

She did as requested, her expression set in her usual bright smile as
she folded her hands demurely in her lap. "I know, Weyrlingmaster,"
she answered. It wasn't a flippant response. Oriene simply knew a lot
about the happenings and people of the Weyr in that natural sponge
sort of way that teenagers absorbed information. She was pleasant as
she asked, "How are you today?"

"I'm doing well. How are you?" He took note of her relaxed manner. She
wasn't weyrbred, but the Dolphin Hall was very close and there was a
lot of mingling between them. It wasn't surprising that Oriene wasn't
overawed by the Weyr.

"Oh, I'm good!" she answered brightly. "Weather is good, I'm learning
a lot in my Candidate lessons, I'm making friends. You know, the
usual!"

"That's good to hear. So it sounds like you're adjusting well to Weyr life?"

"I am!" she answered again brightly. "I mean, I am. Mostly. In all of
the good ways, I mean. Not that there are bad ways! You know,
just...it's a lot and I've got a pretty good gauge on it thanks to
Dolphin Hall." She fell abruptly silent for a moment, as she tried to
figure out how to articulate her next comment. "I'm not really sure
how much longer I'm going to stay though. Well, if I want to stay or
not. Because I do, as a dragonrider, but if I don't Impress then..."
It was a similar vein of conversation that she had been having with
her best friend Tirraze, about how Oriene's parents were asking when
she would return to Dolphin Hall to continue her studies and whether
or not Oriene was going to give up her dream or keep pressing on.

R'lor nodded thoughtfully. "You have a craft you can return to, and it
wouldn't even be far from your new friends. What made you choose to
Stand?"

Now Oriene squirmed in her seat a little, uncertain if she should
reveal such innermost thoughts. "I...I mean, who _doesn't_ want to be
a dragonrider?" she answered evasively.

"The idea of it is certainly alluring, but we've got Thread to worry
about now." When he'd Impressed the biggest things to worry about were
the hard work of dragon care and the dangers of learning to /between/.

The fear of Thread didn't seem to be the reason she was squirming though.

"I mean, yeah, that's true. Thread. We have to worry about that now.
We didn't before. But the dragons, they always handle that! They're
_born_ for it! Me..."

Oriene huffed. Made a little kicking motion with her feet. "Me, I
don't know what my purpose is. And that's...the scary thing. Do I go
back to Dolphin Hall and be a dolphineer like everyone else in my
family? Or...do I do something different?"

"Well, maybe I should ask what made you choose to be an apprentice
dolphineer in the first place."

"My family," she answered simply. Then, elaborated with, "They're all
dolphineers. Mom, Dad, aunt, you get the idea. I grew up with the
pod." Another nervous kicking motion with her feet as she looked down.
"I could have chosen any dolphin I wanted. I think. Probably." She had
even started working with two younger dolphins in preparation, before
coming to the Weyr two Turns ago.

"Would you rather be a dolphineer than a dragonrider?' R'lor asked.

"No? Yes? That's the problem, Weyrlingmaster. I don't know!"

R'lor rubbed his chin. "There are some who would tell you that if you
aren't absolutely sure, you shouldn't Stand. But I remember watching
hatchlings die because there weren't enough Candidates. I say if
you're capable and willing, it's your duty to present yourself to the
eggs and give the dragonets the widest possible choice."

Oriene wrinkled her nose and then caught herself. That was the issue
-- everyone was going on about her duty, what was expected of her, but
Oriene couldn't figure out if this was a thing she _wanted_ to do or
if she was just giving in to everyone else's expectations of her
again. Still, she exhaled and said, "I guess we'll find out at the
next Hatching. Or not. Who knows." She summoned up a weak smile. "I'll
definitely be there for this one. I'd feel _terrible_ if a hatchling
died because we were just one short!"

"It's less likely now, with Search being allowed everywhere, but it's
good that you're thinking of your responsibility." He thought for a
moment. "An issue to consider, though, is that you can't choose to be
a dragonrider. The dragon chooses you, or not, as you said. You can
only choose to try. But if a dragon _does_ Impress to you . . .
there's no going back. No changing your mind, ever. As a dolphineer
you could walk away at any time."

This seemed to give her even more of a puzzle to consider. Oriene was
quiet for a long stretch, slowly kicking her legs as she looked down.
Eventually, she had mulled over enough of her thoughts and raised her
head to ask, "Is it worth it then, Weyrlingmaster? Impressing? What
would you do if you were in my shoes?"

"If you're willing to face the danger of Thread for the rest of your
life, then yes it's worth it. You will never be alone. You'll share
your mind with the most amazing creature on Pern. Even when Thread
returned I never regretted joining with Kularth."

Oriene looked down, thinking. Would it be worth it? She tried to
imagine what the friendship of a dolphin, magnified however many times
into that of a dragon -- that strong sort of love -- would it make it
all worth it?

"I guess," she said slowly, thoughtfully, "there's only really one way
to find out. Maybe...maybe I'll stay until Tirraze Impresses. She
really wants to be a dragonrider. Maybe by then, I'll have figured it
out. Or Impressed my own dragon." Maybe there really wasn't a way for
Oriene to decide something like this. Or maybe she didn't really need
to decide it now. If her parents gave her any problems about staying
-- well, there was nothing _wrong_ with her staying. She could always
go back to Dolphin Hall. She wouldn't age out of being a dolphineer,
not like she could age out of being a Candidate. So, if that was the
case, maybe Oriene just needed to give it a few more Turns, a few more
tries, and see where she ended up then.

"I mean," she added, "it's not like I can't ever go back to Dolphin
Hall. The dolphins will always be there if this doesn't work out."

R'lor nodded. "Exactly." He wished she was more sure, but she was
young -- all Candidates were -- and not many were certain at that age.
The hard truth of it was, they needed Candidates, and she'd accepted
Search. He wanted her to make her own choices, but he wasn't going to
try to convince her to stop Standing.

She swung her legs again but this time a wry smile crossed her face,
like she was committing to something internally, still unsure, but
willing to give it a try. Her own attempt at lifting her uncertain
spirits. "Well, I guess we'll see. Is there anything else you wanted
to talk with me about?" she asked.

"No, but remember my door is always open," R'lor said. "Have a good
day, Oriene."

"You too, Weyrlingmaster," she answered as she hopped off the chair
and went on with her day.

Last updated on the March 14th 2024

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