A Serious Conversation

Writers: Curious, Devin
Date Posted: 20th April 2024

Characters: N'vanik, R'lor, Naradis
Description: Naradis hears what her punishment will be from N'vanik and R'lor.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 10, day 2 of Turn 10
Notes: Mentioned: Cyradis, R'nar, K'don
content warning for mention of suicidal thoughts

N'vanik

R'lor

Cyradis had wanted Naradis to stew for a while, so N'vanik waited a
few days -- which wasn't hard considering how much he had to do.
Loseth let him off on the ledge and then cleared the way for Kularth
to land.

"Ready?" N'vanik asked the Weyrlingmaster Third.

R'lor took a breath and schooled his expression. This was not a
pleasant task, but it had to be done. "Yes, sir."

The Weyrleader led the way inside. "Naradis. The Weyrwoman can't be
here, but we've all discussed your punishment for the incident at
Dragonsfall." He crossed his arms.

"_My_ punishment," Naradis muttered under her breath. There was a
bitter scoff, then a wave of her hand. "Yeah, whatever. Get on with
it."

"Your lack of respect is going to make this much harder," N'vanik
said. He'd discussed this with R'lor, and even though it had been the
Weyrlingmaster Third's idea, N'vanik was going to deliver the bad
news. "So to start, you won't be allowed to Stand at the next
Hatching."

"However," R'lor went on quickly. "As long as you show good behavior
from now on, you can go back to Standing for the following Hatchings."

Naradis' expression _seized_ at the news that she wouldn't be allowed
to stand. It wasn't unexpected, of course, but hearing it was still...
She pushed whatever she was feeling down before it could morph into
fury and turned to the only person in the room who she actually wanted
to talk to. "What does good behavior mean?" she warily asked.

"It means no other incidents like the one at Dragonsfall," R'lor said.
"It means you'll conduct yourself like a Candidate should."

"And it means you won't complain when you hear the rest of your
punishment," the Weyrleader said. Naradis was obviously barely holding
her anger in, which wasn't surprising.

"We're giving you a chance because we believe in you, Naradis," R'lor
said gently.

Naradis paused. The anger faltered. It was with suspicion that she
eyed N'vanik, but when she turned to R'lor, it was replaced by
something more tentative and earnest. "I made that list you wanted,"
she murmured. A pause, then, and a shake of her head. "Sorry, you
don't care about that right now. Keep going."

"I _do_ care," R'lor said, "but we'll get to that later. He didn't
want to disrupt what he and the Weyrleader had talked about.

"Since you clearly haven't learned enough in Candidate classes,"
N'vanik told her, "you're going to attend all the Weyrling classes
that focus on the lifemate bond and how to control emotions. And
you're going to help at the Hatching."

"After what happened last time, we need to be extra careful with the
weyrlings' meat. And we know we can trust you," R'lor said.

Naradis' eyes flared. She clenched her hand. And she stayed focused on
R'lor, on his words of trust, on the anchor she needed to keep from
fraying once more. "Okay," she said, strained and tense, but not
_scresming_. "I can do that."

At least they still trusted her around dragons. That was... Something.

She was clearly struggling, but at least she wasn't lashing out. After
seeing how much Naradis and her scorching mess had upset Cyradis,
N'vanik was in no mood to deal with insolence.

"And another thing, which is _not_ a punishment," R'lor said. He'd
asked to deliver this piece of news, hoping she might take the
information better if it came from him. "You need to see a mindhealer.
The Weyrwoman and the Weyrleader and I, we're _all_ worried about you.
We want you to be happy and healthy, Naradis."

"Ah." Naradis started shifting uncomfortably in place, eyes dropping
down to the floor. "R'lor, can... Can I talk to you about that later?
Alone? I have some... stuff... that's been going on that I should...
maybe probably tell you, but I'm not comfortable saying it in front of
him." She gestured briefly toward N'vanik. "And I don't want to bother
mom with it while she's on bedrest. I told R'nar though, so... Someone
knows, I guess." Naradis shrugged weakly, eyes still locked onto the
floor. "It's not that important though. Nothing's going to happen or
anything."

N'vanik studied her for a moment, then gave R'lor a questioning look.
Since Naradis wasn't looking at them, R'lor gave the Weyrleader a
slight nod and then said, "Weyrleader, sir, may we be dismissed to
speak privately?"

"Hmm, I suppose," N'vanik said. He took a few steps and then turned
back. "Don't give your ma any more grief, she's stressed enough as it
is." With that, N'vanik went out onto the ledge to wait for Loseth.

"You can't tell mom about this," Naradis said as soon at N'vanik was
gone, still not looking up. "There's no way to tell her without giving
her grief."

"What is it?" R'lor asked gently. He didn't want to make a promise he
wasn't sure he could keep. It depended on how serious this was.

"It's nothing too serious," Naradis told the floor. "Like, nothing
came from it, and I'm not going to do anything dramatic. But while I
was up here, I... did consider jumping off the ledge. A lot. And I did
try to climb down it when K'don cornered me in here, I would have if
he hadn't left." She shrugged. "I'm probably just... I don't know.
R'nar thought it was serious, so I'm telling you."

"Oh Naradis." R'lor closed his eyes for a brief moment. "It _is_
serious. You need to see a mindhealer, immediately. I'm going to call
one of the weyrlingstaff to take a message to the mindhealers and get
someone to come up here and talk with you. And I'm going to stay with
you until they arrive." He didn't know how close she'd come to
actually hurting herself, but it was best not to take any chances.

"Alright. I-" Naradis swallowed heavily, pushed down the words that
she knew she'd stumble over, and tried again. "Alright. Just... don't
tell mom, okay? She has enough on her plate, and I think N'vanik
really _would_ kill me if he knew." She paused, looking up at R'lor
for a second, then back down to the floor. "That was a joke. I think."

"I don't know the Weyrleader well, but I find it hard to believe he'd
be more angry if he knew how upset you've been. Why don't we sit?"
R'lor gestured toward the small table and chairs. "I'll let the
mindhealer decide whether the Weyrwoman should be informed." He
certainly _wanted_ to tell Cyradis, as she was not only the Weyrwoman
but Naradis's mother, but Naradis was trusting him and the mindhealer
would be able to make a professional decision.

Naradis nodded, walking over to the table and sitting down hesitantly.
"I don't see why he wouldn't," she murmured. "I'm not..." That's
wasn't something that she would help anyone by saying, even if R'lor
might give a shit. Running a hand through her hair, she shifted gears
and asked, "Is there anything else you wanted to talk about while we
wait?"

"You mentioned you had that list for me." R'lor hoped it would help to
have something else to talk about.

"Right," Naradis said, nodding slightly. "Mom thinks I'd make a good
Harper. And I think so too... Maybe? I'd like to try at least. I also
think I'd really love to be a dragonhealer, but..." There was no
progressing past apprenticehood in that craft without a dragon.

"You could always consider dragonhealing later." That wouldn't be a
great choice now as further attaching her future to Impression would
likely make things worse. "Harpering would be a great choice, and
there are many here so you'd have some choice in who you learn with."

"And I... Wouldn't be too far behind?" Naradis tentatively asked.

"Many people start their Crafting late at the Weyr, and you'll be
paired with a Journeyman or a Master for most of your training."

"Okay," Naradis said with a tiny nod. "I'll... I'll try at harpering, then."

"Good. I can speak with the Harpers about getting you set up, ah . .
." R'lor glanced around. "Once the Weyrleaders have decided you can
leave." He considered asking them if they would let her out now that
her punishment had been decided, but he didn't want to push his luck.

Naradis let out a frustrated little huff. No words, just the huff -
frankly, she didn't think she _needed_ anything more than the huff.
"If I'm stuck here for much longer, can I contact you if someone uses
me being stuck in here to try to force me to talk to them? Like I
said, it happened with K'don and it went... Bad." She glanced to the
side again. "I don't do well when I'm cornered." Which was perhaps an
understatement for when she tried to climb down a sheer wall to escape
an unwanted conversation, but there it was. "I really need to get a
firelizard. For communication."

R'lor frowned. "I can't override the Weyrleaders, but if anyone else
is bothering you, I can ask them to leave."

"Thank you," Naradis murmured. "I mean- correct me if I'm wrong, but I
didn't think that the point of me being here was to trap me in one
place so that whoever wants to get get their turn to scream at me or
preach at me or whatever the heck."

"No, I don't imagine it was." It was probably to make her think about
what she'd done. "What interests you about Harpering?"

"Mom says she thinks I'd be good at it," Naradis said. "If I'm going
to take a craft, I want it to be something I'm good at. And I'm
nervous about being a performing harper, but... I like it. Being seen.
But I also like reading and learning - I know I don't look very
bookwormy, but I do - so I might be decent with records."

"A future archive specialist, maybe." R'lor smiled. "I suppose you'll
just have to suffer through all the singing and playing to get there."

"I can manage," Naradis said, finally meeting R'lor's gaze with a wry,
weary smile. "Whatever comes next... I can get through it."

It warmed him to hear that, and his smile widened. "You're stronger
than you know, Naradis."

"Thank you," Naradis said. And indeed, she looked a fraction stronger.
"Is there anything else we need to go over?"

"The mindhealer should be here shortly. We can just chat until then."

"Alright," Naradis softly said.

And so they talked. Not about anything important, nothing that would
fix everything. But it was company. It was something to hold her
together until the mindhealer arrived and real progress could be made.

She would be okay.

Last updated on the April 22nd 2024

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