Men Leave

Writers: Suzee
Date Posted: 30th May 2024

Characters: Cyradis
Description: Her Weyrmate Leaves Dolphin Cove
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 10, day 21 of Turn 11
Notes: Mentioned: K'deren, K'reyel, K'sedel, D'hol, N'vanik

Cyradis

Cyradis awoke in the middle of the night and missed the gentle sound
of K'deren sleeping next to her. There was no one spooned behind her
breathing into her hair and while it wasn't really cold somehow she
felt the absence of his warmth at her back.

Dolphin Cove was where she and Panitath belonged. This Weyr was
_theirs_ and she could and would not agree to follow K'deren when he
asked her to go with them. His father and brother had made the
decision to leave them here. She knew she was having difficulty
dealing with it. Maybe because it was so very unexpected, that
decision to leave her behind. Yet she felt foolish thinking that.

Men did what men did and sometimes even in the Weyr they expected the
female members of their race to go along with their plans without
question. No matter what kinds of games they played in the privacy of
their weyr, he didn't own her or command her obedience. She was a
queen rider and a leader of this Weyr. She would not leave her
responsibilities here.

Nor would she allow him to take Kendran with him, the boy was too
young to change foster mothers at this point. She had already begun
devoting more time to him to make up for his father absence. Of course
if K'deren wished, he could come to visit at any time without having
to seek her permission. She had learned a great deal from dealing with
the consequences of her decisions about Kielya and how it had effected
both her self image and the girls father.

D'hol hadn't even known he was a father and that was her fault. She
couldn't take it back or change the past and as much as they'd changed
and made up their difference, she still couldn't shake the guilt of
what she'd done to him.

'Time heals all wounds,' she'd been told and she believed but this one
was going to take more time than she really wanted to dedicate to her
feelings. Perhaps she should talk to a mind healer? She shook her
head. No, she'd gone though this before and likely would again. But
at least not with more children. She was done with that.

'Men leave,' that would be her new motto and no matter what kind of
blandishments she got from any brown or bronze rider she would not be
so quick to let another man into her heart. Once you did that they
could hurt you to the quick and then just walk away.

Cyranik began to fuss and she got out of the bed and picked him up.
"Hello little man," she said in a slightly husky voice as she bounced
and walked into the other room to feed him. "Your da is at least
honest with me. He's never tried to lead me to believe I was important
to him as more than a friend and his Weyrwoman." A tear fell from the
corner of her eye and landed on his tiny forehead. He flinched and
blinked but kept feeding. She wiped it away with a gentle swipe of her
thumb. "At least he'll stay as long as Panitath keeps choosing
Loseth." She kissed the tiny babe in her arms.

}: Mine,:{ the lovely mind voice of her gold lifemate filled her up
with love and beauty.

** Mine, ** she reflected back at the beauty on her ledge. **You'll
never leave me.**

}: Never, :{ she agreed.

** Donneth's has, ** she added.

}: His feels bad about it.:{

** But not bad enough to stay. **

Shadow floated down from wherever he'd been lurking and landing on her
shoulder rubbed his head against her jaw. He crooned to her and sent
images of delicious fish.

"I don't need a fish," she chuckled and rubbed a tiny brown eyeridge.
"But thank you for the offer."

She held Cyranik rocking back and forth until he fell back asleep and
then she gently put him back into his little bed. He'd help keep her
together. Caring for her little guy at night got her though the worst
parts of her loneliness.

She crawled back beneath her furs and reached up to turn the glows.
The room dimmed and the sound of the ocean across the bowl soothed her
mind as she sought sleep.

Maybe she did or maybe she didn't need a mindhealer. She have to
remain open to the advice of those around her. Time would tell.

Last updated on the June 2nd 2024

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Men Leave