Fear of Resentment (2/2)
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Devin, Len
Date Posted: 12th June 2024
Characters: R'lor, Sh'del
Description: R'lor and Sh'del discuss the change in their roles.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 9, day 11 of Turn 11
Notes: Mentioned: N'vanik, J'lor, Cyradis
R'lor let out a breath. "First, would you like something to drink si--err brownrider? I have klah and water." He was being polite, but it also gave him a moment to calm down and collect his thoughts. Kularth was settling now that Trouble had left the office.
“Sure, a cup of klah would be nice.”
R'lor rose and went to the side table where a warm pitcher of klah waited. He poured two cups and set one down in front of Sh'del, along with a small tray of cream and sugar. When he sat back down he was more composed. "I didn't ask to be Weyrlingmaster. I didn't even consider that it was possible. That being said, I'm both proud and humbled that the Weyrleader gave me this opportunity, and I hope we can work together."
Sh’del looked at R’lor with real confusion. “Of course we_will_work together, we’ve been doing it for the last turn. I know I’ve not been around for months because of my operations but…what’s going on? No formal ‘brownrider’ talk, what’s really going on? Are you nervous? I mean, it’s a tough job, I know I was bricking it when N’vanik gave it to me, but you’ll grow into it,” and start drinking a lot he added in his head, but poor R’lor didn’t need to hear that, “you’ve got myself and J’lor to help, plus the staff is great, particularly the young women. You worried about what some bronze riders might say? Seriously, I’m confused here.”
"Well, I was worried you might resent me for taking a rank you might think you're better suited to," R'lor said. "You were Weyrlingmaster before. To have a _bluerider_ promoted over you . . . it might cause tension." And now R'lor wondered if he'd invented all the tension himself.
The expression on Sh’del’s face was that of pure confusion. He gestured to his damaged leg, the reason he had to step down as Weyrlingmaster, and looked back up at R’lor. Surely the man knew he_couldnt_be Weyrlingmaster…so what was the problem? Leaning forward so R’lor had no choice but to look him straight in the eye, he said, “okay, let’s get something straight. First and foremost, you are not just ‘a bluerider,’ you are the guy who held the candidates and weyrlings together all on your own for almost a turn. You more than deserve the role, R’lor. Mate, all I care is that it didn’t go to yet another bronzerider. We’re in the same boat here, okay? We’re_both_not the usual types to get chosen for leadership roles. But so what? If I had_my_own way I’d give the role to a female greenrider. But that’s a whole other story! You should be proud of yourself, you’ve worked hard and no one else but you deserves the role. Is this why you’ve been avoiding me since I got back?”
"Thank you." A brief, embarrassed smile tugged at R'lor's lips. He'd considered that Sh'del might accept his new rank, but not that the brownrider truly believed he deserved it. "The Weyrlingmaster I was under at Rising Moons was very traditional. I was on the Weyrlingstaff for Turns and he never promoted a blue or greenrider, no matter how hardworking they were. Not even for Weyrlingmaster Third. It was always bronze or brown, because to him they would always be better at leadership."
“Well, thankfully this isn’t Rising Moons. We’ve got N’vanik and Cyradis and you’re not going to get two better leaders. And it’s not unheard of that blues get Weyrlingmaster positions, look at the north. I’m just sorry you had to deal with someone like that.” Sh’del sat back and studied R’lor. What the poor man must have gone through, no wonder he was upset. “I am sorry,” he repeated in a quiet voice.
"No need to apologize. It has nothing to do with you." R'lor felt even more embarrassed. "I should be the one apologizing for projecting my worries onto you."
Sh’del waved off the apology. “No, I get it now. I’m just sorry that some people have those type of thoughts. But that man was wrong. I mean, look at all our wingthirds, they’re all green or blue and the rest of the wing has to listen to them with no issues.” A small half smile played on Sh’del’s mouth. R’lor was kinda cute when he had that embarrassed expression. “Look at it this way, mate, I’ve got your back. N’vanik has your back, as does Cyradis. And you’ve picked a good third for yourself, we won’t let you fail, got it?”
R'lor nodded. "Thank you." He'd once been a confident Wingthird and realized that his time working under M'talis might have done more damage than he realized. While he had only a little doubt about his own abilities, he was concerned how _others_ might see him as inherently less capable than a bronze or brownrider.
“And…” Sh’del stood up, “I can’t believe we’ve talked all this out and forgot the most important part.” He came around the table and pulled R’lor to his feet. “We need to go find something more suitable than klah to toast you. I heard there’s some really nice sparkling wine being kept in the cool boxes in the kitchens. Let’s go get one and celebrate your success!”
R'lor stiffened a moment and tried to ignore his discomfort. He'd grown up among weyrbrats who were always patting and jostling and roughhousing with each other. Sh'del was just being friendly and it wasn't as if they were strangers. They'd been working together for a Turn. "I have work to do, but I can spare time for one drink."
Sh’del noted R’lor’s stiffness. A thought hit him, maybe R’lor just didn’t want him as his second? Well, that would come out at a later date. “Trust me, in this job there’s always going to be work to do.”
"It's daunting to think about." R'lor had been busy enough as a 'Third.
“That’s why you need to carve out time to take care of yourself. And celebrating your success is one of them.” Sh’del resisted the natural inclination to wrap an arm around R’lor’s shoulders, like he would have had this been E’ril or L’pin. He inwardly sighed, missing the funny times he had with E’ril in that moment. They had gotten through a disaster of a Weyrlingmaster and his never around 3rd in one piece, and had done it whilst poking fun at each other along the way. But that was two turns ago now. Times changed and with it, so did people.
Last updated on the June 16th 2024