Just Hold Me
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Devin, Eimi
Date Posted: 31st May 2006
Characters: Gaiya, K'mai
Description: Gaiya comes to K'mai for a little comfort
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 11, day 17 of Turn 3
Gaiya took a deep breath. The last time she had gone to a man's weyr to try to feel better about her situation, she ended up losing a friend. The loss of L'cian hurt more than she cared to admit. K'mai had leant her an ear before, but shards, what if he pushed her? She'd give in. She knew herself well enough to know that. And K'mai could be persuasive when he wanted to be... **Shards...**
She held her breath as she knocked on the wooden door.
"Coming!" K'mai called from the other side of the door. His ready smile faded when he opened the door and saw Gaiya's face. "What's wrong, Gaiya?"
"I don't want sex, so don't even ask," she muttered sulkily as she slipped into his weyr. "I just want... Shards, I don't know what I want. I want _space_."
"Woah, woah! I asked you what was wrong, not if you wanted to come to bed," K'mai said gently. "And if you want space, why are you coming to my weyr?"
"Because I don't want _physical_ space," she replied with a slight note of exasperation, figuring that much should have been obvious. "Just space... you know... from... _him_..."
"What happened?" he asked, knowing exactly who she was talking about.
"Nothing... Which usually happens. _Nothing_. No spark or mystery, just... Fight, have sex. Not talk all day, have sex. Drink, have sex. Shards, just how did I get myself _into_ this mess?" she whined as she flopped down on his sofa. "I'm supposed to be mothering my foster children, not my lover."
K'mai sat down beside her. "Have you talked to him about it?"
"No..." she muttered. "If I even look like something is wrong he gets sulky, or drunk, or gets that sharding wounded _look_ in his eye... and then we just have sex to fix things."
"Well, it doesn't sound like the sex is fixing anything." He knew, of course, about what happened between Ar'lis and Lenala. The gossip had picked up again around the hatching. K'mai wouldn't be surprised if that had something to do with Gaiya's current relationship troubles. "Have you thought about asking him to see a mindhealer?"
"He is seeing one," Gaiya sighed. "He's been talking to U'val, but... Shards, I didn't know it was going to be like this."
"I wish I could do something to help," he said with a small sigh. "But I just don't know what to say."
"Well, then, just... hold me," she said resignedly. "But _just_ hold me," Gaiya was quick to remind him. Last thing she needed was another L'cian...
K'mai scooted closer and put an arm around her. "What? Not even a massage?"
"No. Especially not a massage," she groaned as she leaned into him. "Massages lead to more massages and that leads to trouble."
"Trouble can be fun sometimes." He chuckled softly. "But I think you have enough of that for now." K'mai pulled her a little closer, aware of how familiar her body felt against him even after all this time.
"I just don't understand what went so _wrong_, K'mai," Gaiya whimpered as she settled against him naturally. "Well, I know _how_ it went wrong, I just... I don't know how to get it back to the way it was."
K'mai began to stroke her hair. "Sometimes there is no way to get it back," he said sadly.
"I care about him, K'mai. I really do. I'm not being a bad person, am I?"
"No, Gaiya. You're trying to make the relationship work. It's not your fault if he won't talk to you about it."
"But that's just it, K'mai," she whispered, knowing if she spoke too loudly her voice would just crack anyway and give everything away, "I don't know if I _want_ to talk about it anymore. I don't want to think about it either. I just want to forget it ever happened and go back. But you're right, there is no going back..."
He continued to stroke her hair slowly, rhythmically. "Sometimes it doesn't work out, even with people we care for."
Gaiya sighed as she closed her eyes and settled in closer to him, just enjoying the feeling of familiar fingers in her hair. "Can we just not talk for a while?" she muttered softly.
"Sure," K'mai replied gently. They could stay like this all night if she wanted.
Last updated on the May 31st 2006