One Thing You've Always Wanted to Do

Writers: Devin, Halyonix
Date Posted: 7th December 2024
Series: Bronze and Blue Entwined

Characters: K'mai, I'serin
Description: K'mai takes I'serin out of his comfort zone and teaches him a few things.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 1, day 22 of Turn 12
Notes: PG-17 version

K'mai

I'serin

K'mai had left his evening open, waiting on I'serin's arrival, but the bronzerider never showed. Had he gotten scared? Had he forgotten? The next day was Thread, and K'mai waited up late. But I'serin didn't come then, either, nor on the restday.

Well, K'mai was determined not to let I'serin hide from _himself_ at least, so the next day he went to the Weyrleader's office and knocked on the door.

"Come in," was the absent reply.

"You forgot our appointment." K'mai closed the door behind him. "Am I really that forgettable?"

There was a look of panic that crossed I'serin's face. He had not forgotten the date, no, but he had forgotten what was supposed to happen on said date. Or had he planned to forget in the hopes that K'mai would as well?

}: You should have known better on that one, :{ Aluneth remarked dryly.

I'serin opened his mouth to reply but all he came up with was, "I..."

K'mai snorted a laugh and then bit his lip. "Scared? Think I'm going to punish you? Ravish you over the desk?" He looked at it speculatively. "Although . . ."

Panic turned to pale as precisely two dozen decadent, naughty scenarios raced through I'serin's mind, all of them ending in satisfaction...

And every one of them possessing a nonzero chance of someone walking in during the middle of it.

"K-K'mai," I'serin stammered.

The bluerider looked up to meet I'serin's gaze. "There are some things I'd reserve for a nice soft bed if you haven't done them before, but I'd be happy to bend over for you right here if you'd like." Having a Weyrleader take him over his desk was a fantasy K'mai never thought possible, and yet suddenly there was a glimmer of hope.

I'serin gulped audibly. "K'mai, this..." He closed his eyes, clenched his fists. Slammed down on all of his emotions and thoughts before they continued to get away from him. Not here, not now, not this.

When he opened his eyes, the Weyrleader mask was back in place. He crossed quickly over to K'mai and gripped the bluerider's upper arm. To anyone passing, it would look like he was reprimanding an errant Wingrider except he whispered, "I did not forget _you_, K'mai, but I...I am not at liberty to be myself here. This is not easy for me. I have lived under certain expectations for my entire life." His tone turned softly plaintive. "Please, you must understand that." He released K'mai's arm with an apologetic look. "Give me a moment to clear my schedule and...you can take me anywhere that is not here. In the Weyr."

Shards, he was wound so tight. "Come to my weyr," K'mai said. Maybe they could work up to the desk eventually. "Come and be yourself for a little while."

I'serin made a small frustrated sound as he rounded his desk to clear his schedule. "Surely you know of a secluded beach somewhere?" he said, wondering if K'mai was purposefully ignoring his request to unwind outside of the Weyr. It honestly did not matter -- no one would know if I'serin was in K'mai's weyr unless someone pointedly asked -- but I'serin was extra paranoid.

"Alright, alright," K'mai said. "I just thought a bed would be nicer. We can go far away from your expectations and responsibilities."

"Therein lies the goal," I'serin muttered as he finished putting his notes in order and relaying messages through Aluneth. With several hours now cleared off, he exhaled. "There. Now, where to?" he asked as he grabbed his jacket.

"Sebeth will send the image to Aluneth. I need to get a few things from my weyr," K'mai said. "Meet you there." Besides, it might make I'serin feel better if they didn't leave at the same time. Shards, this was just like fooling around with a holder.

That worked just fine for I'serin. Once K'mai left, he made a quick stop at the Lower Caverns for his own supplies: a few skins of drinks, a bundle of meatrolls, some special iced pastries just because he was the Weyrleader (that might be one of the few perks of the job, he thought). He borrowed a blanket from the storerooms and then tied it all to a waiting Aluneth. **Is K'mai...?** he asked, assuming that Aluneth would talk to Sebeth.

}:We are here.:{ Sebeth sent the bronze an image of a beach. }:Mine is wating.:{

Aluneth appeared a few moments later, rumbling in a pleased tone. }: This will be good for you, :{ he told his rider, even as I'serin tried not to let his fears still direct him. }: There is no one near. Sebeth and I will hunt. You and K'mai will relax. :{ It sounded almost like an order but it was coated with understanding. It had been one thing for I'serin to deny himself while he was a mere Wingrider. As Weyrleader, he needed to be extra mindful of striking a balance, and relieving some of the pressures he felt, even internally, would go a long way.

I'serin untied the supplies and straps from Aluneth but lingered near his dragon out of...awkwardness? Yes, that had to be the feeling. He was uncertain, nervous, still paranoid in some regard, but with the tiniest bit of hope that maybe...

With a grunt, Aluneth took off, leaving I'serin bereft of his emotional support.

K'mai had laid out a blanket with a basket at one corner. When he saw I'serin standing there awkwardly, he got up and headed over to him as Sebeth took off to follow Aluneth.

}:I am pleased to hunt with you.:{ The blue preened a little at spending time with the lead bronze.

"Glad you made it." K'mai smiled partly at I'serin and partly at his dragon. He leaned in to give I'serin a brief kiss. Of course, the bronzerider stood there woodenly, awkwardly afraid to move.

}: You are overthinking this, :{ Aluneth said.

**Aluneth, I have no other way of thinking,** I'serin retorted but he sighed aloud. "K'mai...I...apologize. I am not...accustomed...and..."

K'mai took his hand. "Come sit down." He gently tugged the bronzerider toward the blanket. I'serin dutifully followed.

"You have...an eye for a setting," he complimented clumsily as he sat. He let out another sigh, frustrated with himself, and then, rather than explaining himself, he pulled K'mai's hand to his mouth and planted a kiss on his palm.

That was a start, maybe. "So you don't have much experience with men. What about women?" K'mai asked.

"I believe the words 'fumbling' and 'unsatisfactory' would apply to that question," I'serin answered with a wince. He kept his hand entwined with K'mai's, forcing himself to step out of his comfort zone further by rubbing his thumb along K'mai's knuckles.

K'mai studied him. "Is that because you feel awkward or because you don't like women?"

"Both," I'serin answered. He looked out over the waves as he spoke. "I...at first thought that perhaps I had not yet found the _right_ woman. I am known to be...particular...in some regards. But as time went on, some Turns after I Impressed, I realized that it was because I was not attracted to women at all." He paused, as though peeling off another layer of himself for someone else to see. "Being a bronzerider's son and a bronzerider myself by that point, I was aware of certain...stereotypes...even at the Weyr. And I was uncertain how to navigate it. I choose to...hide it...instead. Focus on becoming a better leader."

"Probably hard to focus when you've got something like this weighing on you," K'mai said. Others had shared with him how stressful it was to hide their sexuality at holds or halls.

"It became easier with practice," I'serin admitted quietly. "A lifetime of denial and it becomes little harder than breathing." He looked down at their entwined hands. "Honestly, _allowing_ myself to feel it is now the hard part." It was an armor that he had to take off and sometimes the buckles didn't come undone.

"You deserve to be happy." K'mai squeezed his hand. "And I want to help, whether that's talking or exploring."

I'serin opened his mouth to do _more_ talking and realized that he could drown K'mai in words and never feel as though he had worked through the issue. So, even though it caused a weird flutter in his stomach, he answered, "I believe...I have done enough talking. Perhaps exploring is what is needed now."

"What's one thing you've always wanted to do with a man?" K'mai's smile had a hint of teasing, but his eyes were gentle.

The Weyrleader huffed. "Must I narrow it down to one thing?" he asked rhetorically. Before K'mai could answer that, he added, "Kissing. Let us...start with that." And see if he could undo a bit more of that stranglehold on his sexuality.

"One to _start_. We can't do everything all at once." K'mai laughed before he turned more serious. I'serin was terribly innocent, asking for a kiss of all things. He leaned close to the bronzerider and gently pressed their lips together. Of course, the bronzerider's first reaction was to freeze but with a bit of patience, he relaxed and began exploring the kiss. Deepening it. Threading his hand into K'mai's hair so that he stayed close.

Eventually, I'serin let out a soft whimper that sounded like he wanted more but was afraid to ask.

K'mai pulled back just enough to speak. "Good start?" He shifted to kiss along I'serin's neck. It would give the bronzerider a chance to say something if he wanted, and if not K'mai could coax it out of him.

I'serin nodded. "More," he answered, his voice cracking a little. "Please."

K'mai guided I'serin down onto the blanket and lay on top of him. "'More' covers a lot of things you know," he said between kisses. "I can show you a few things and you can tell me if you like them or not." K'mai had no interest in authority but he liked all sorts of bed games, and the idea of having the Weyrleader under his control was more than a little thrilling.

Why was it when K'mai played coy with words that I'serin was both scared and thrilled, though not in equal parts? And why was it that when the bluerider's hands and mouth wandered across his skin that I'serin seemed to forget all words and become little more than a bumbling grunt? "S-Sure," he managed to say.

K'mai spent several minutes undressing them both, kissing and licking I'serin all over. Then he rolled onto his side and fixed his sultry gaze on the bronzerider. "Touch me," he said in a low voice.

Breathing hard, it took a few moments for a dazed I'serin to comprehend the command. And another few to formulate any coherent idea about where to start. His fingers cautiously followed the lines of K'mai, like he had finally been given permission to explore but was still scared of someone slapping his hand away. But there was one area of the bluerider that I'serin couldn't convince himself to touch, even though it was quite obvious that K'mai was enjoying it. Turns of keeping his sexuality so chained paused his hovering hand.

The air between them was charged and K'mai could see both the yearning and the restraint on I'serin's face. "Keep going," K'mai said.

He didn't.

Hating himself for his failure to capitalize on the permission given, for falling back into the old, painful familiar, I'serin kissed K'mai roughly in apology, hoping that the bluerider understood that he was still trying and that some lines would take time to cross.

The kiss went on for a while before K'mai drew back and gently held I'serin's chin. "I won't make you do anything you don't want, but would you like me to 'make' you do things you _do_ want?" Some people enjoyed having that extra push, the sense of surrender.

I'serin debated this against his feelings. He worried that if he thought about what he wanted, he'd overthink himself into not doing it. Eventually, he shook his head a little, answering with, "Do...Do what you want to me. I want that."

"Well then . . ."

***Fade to black***

"I...did not expect that," I'serin admitted. A feeling of validation, of rightness slowly unfurled within him. He let it guide his fingers into tracing the muscles and lines of K'mai's arm and torso. He let out a soft huff of laughter. "I am most certainly the worst...lay...that you have had."

"You're beautiful when you come." K'mai gave him one more languid kiss and then slid off, but he stayed close, pressed against I'serin's side, an arm and a leg stretched over his body. Unsure of how to handle such an intimate compliment, I'serin looked away.

K'mai chuckled, warm and low. "Faranth, you're adorable." He traced idle patterns on I'serin's chest. "Inexperience doesn't have to be a bad thing. I like teaching people. I like helping them discover what they like, and you were _very_ satisfying."

The bronzerider gave K'mai a rough, vulnerable kiss as he said, "Then I hope that I am a better student in this arena than I am in other areas of my life."

Last updated on the December 10th 2024

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One Thing You've Always Wanted to Do